My thoughts released; a mind set free |
It's been about five days and Norbert showed up again. Norbert is the muse that showed up to replace Halo; Norbert Horace Wankenspanker that is. I didn't ask him to show up, he was just at the door one day after getting fired from his previous job. He told me all about it, with the idea that I could write it out as a story. I declined since it was kind of gross and not the kind of story I prefer to write. It seems Norbert worked for a guy who pumps septic tanks, and in the cold snap we had the discharge valve froze shut and Norbert could not empty the sewage from the tank. He went into great detail, I'll give him that, detail enough that I lost my appetite, but I will spare all of you. In summary, he got his boss to help him free the frozen valve, but Norbert had forgotten to depressurize the tank, and as his boss knelt in front of the valve heating it with a torch, the valve opened, under pressure, and blasted the poor guy with the contents of the truck. I can understand why he was upset. To add to his misery, Norbert confessed that he thought it was the funniest thing ever and couldn't stop laughing. Well, up until his boss fired him. He, Norbert that is, was a bit upset that I wouldn't write it all out in gory detail for a story, but I explained that I write fiction and was hoping to write fantasy or something similar. Norb, as he prefers to be addressed, thought for a bit and then smiled and told me he had a fantasy I could write. Excited, I got myself set up to write a story. Yes, I was excited to be writing something again. Norb sat on the edge of the desk and started sharing a tale that involved three hookers, some acid, and an assortment of kitchen utensils! Yes, it was sexual in context. Well, it was more like unadulterated porn than anything, but Norb was really getting into the story. I felt bad when I stopped him and explained that I didn't want to write porn, I wanted to write a fantasy. He started turning red and his breathing made me think of a bull about to charge. Standing in front of me now, hands on his hips he yelled, "It is a fantasy, it's my fantasy!" Before I could say anything he turned and stomped towards the door, then turned again with a look in his eyes that made me fear he was going to charge me. "You wanted a muse to help you write and now you tell me you don't want to write about my story or my fantasy? I see why Halo quit, well so do I!" I never did get a chance to speak, he stormed off, packed up and out the door he went. So here I sit museless and wondering where I'll find inspiration. Maybe Santa will bring me a muse for Christmas... |