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The place to be for positive reinforcements! |
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Hello My Sunny Pals, Welcome back to Shellyville....  
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| Hello Friends, It has been a long week! Lots of situations in the office that I could not have predicted and did not want to deal with. I love my career and I am damn good at it but people can be extremely exhausting. I am at that level of burn out and anxiety that has to be addressed. I am not well and I know it. I have been gone for a long time so you don't know what I have been dealing with. Last year stretched me in ways I am still trying to figure out. My twin brother Matthew died from cancer. That sucked. Not nearly as bad as my son Jax going off the deep end mentally and losing all touch of reality. Between the two men that I loved the most I felt the biggest hurt. One I can recover from, the other I am not ever sure I will. Time is the only healer I need. Please and Thank you! Love Michelle |
| Hello Sunshine, You are smiling today! Blue sky, yellow sun and cold temps. Yup it's a Michigan spring. Normally gray for most of it but today the sun has decided to peak out and it makes all the difference. Bright sunshine is what I normally crave. I honestly don't understand why I live here anymore. I can live anywhere and yet I stay here. Maybe someday I will move but I kinda doubt it. It seems as if life is telling me this is where I do belong. Family history and all. I am firmly planted in a place that can support my career and bring me some joy. At least several months out of the year. I am that fair weather girl, I know it. I have always been this way. I shall continue down the same road looking for something new. I tried to look back but sadness and crying got in the way. I can't keep doing that to myself. My body and soul needs to heal. I am tired of crying. I am worn out by the stress of grief. I think I need to plan a beach vacation so I can float in some salt water. I think it might be the only way I can reset my body. Sunshine, beach and the ocean. Yep I need to make that happen! Love, Shelly |
| Hello Sunshine, Is it possible at my age to create a new dream? Or maybe it is time to realize that dreams can come and go at any age. I love that idea. All I know is that for a couple years now I have been restless in my soul. It was something missing. I have been so preoccupied with business and being a good therapist. I forgot about what I needed. It's time to go back. This time for all the right reasons. I am ready to explore what is left unsaid inside of me. I have more words to speak, more people to meet. My desires are easy and they will happen. A little hard work, a few minutes put away just for me. I am going to be selfish and love every minute of it. Dreams don't die only actions do. I love you Shelly. |
| When the past returns... What is that all about and why? Why doesn't my mind recognize the game of it all? I have nothing in my past that can haunt me anymore. I have faced every inch of it. I tore apart every hidden clue and I still can't understand it. A book out of print for 10 years. A man out of my life for 40. A twin dead for a year. It's all over. Last year kicked my ass and yet I survived it. I made peace with the enemy of my emotions. I loved myself in all my grief. I have never been so broken or strong at the same time. I am reckless and calculated and I miss me. I miss the words inside my soul that burned my dreams. I need the wild soul of my creative heart to dance again. I am a poet with no pen or paper. No muse to inspire my desires. I have a fake dream that has not grown. Damn Shelly Sunshine who the f are YOU? Let's find out this year. Let's let the past return and see what evil it brings up. How do I know? Maybe a sexy muse will return and then my lover girl dreams can come true. You are and will always be a writer with dreams. A lover that needs love and a woman with a safe place to hide. I love you, Michelle |
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