“The phoenix hope, can wing her way through the desert skies, and still defying fortune's spite; revive from ashes and rise.”
~ Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra
To read former musings and shenanigans check out my prior blog:
I remember staring at a blank screen, my own cup of whipped cream with a splash of coffee and mocha going cold beside the keyboard, thinking exactly the same thoughts. I had my research in an orderly pile - notes on Violetta from Verdi's La Traviata, Henry James' Daisy Miller, Stephen Crane's Red Badge of Courage...the corruption of Nature in the post-Romantic era, flowers fading in mid-bloom, war in the wilderness.
I had everything I needed, just not the words to say it right and a deadline similar to yours. I ended up hand-writing a skeleton of an outline in a deserted parking lot just after dawn. I had to go somewhere I'd never been with nothing but asphalt to distract me. Caught the professor in the elevator as she was leaving; she was in a good mood and accepted it 15 minutes late.
It sounds like you spent an anniversary trapped in your thoughts, and I'm sorry to hear that. Nothing can make one question the benefits of education against the necessities of life quite like the end of a semester.
I hope you finished, and I hope you did well. Just remember what you do have when there's nothing to take it away - what you would have, and what you will, when everything's taken care of.
But if not, I hope you found a charitable hitman with a kind heart.
I do believe that sometimes finding answers, or at least trying to understand our family gives us more insight into ourselves. I have often searched for 'clues' in my family and it's helped fill in the blanks that left me wondering. I've been saying this for a couple of years now, *hangs head in shame*, but, I must write my story... my family's story. Not so much for me, but for my girls. In one way or another they are all connected, much deeper than the obvious.
Escape... oh, if that thought didn't cross my mind at least 3 times a day... I think I'd go insane...
But you know, I do believe that is almost an inbred trait in all artists. It's part of our creativity, our inspiration... to dream of escape. To runaway... *sigh*
Then again, sometimes, it is a real part of us that needs the growth, needs to get out and blossom. The voice in the center of us puts that longing, that yearning to the forefront and leaves it up to us to decide.
I'm still trying to figure out which is which with me... is it just the artist in me or is it really something I need to do. If you figure it out, let me know.
The Frames and that song.... one of my favorites. Then a friend heard me play that song and told me about the movie "Once." I loved that too, the ending was undefined... interesting... left room for a writer's mind
I think someone was tired when they wrote this lmao. I won't knit pick though, but in the last line I think you meant "I'd like to ask what's happening, but you can't really do that "while" stuck in a jar.
I totally know what you mean because I have had that feeling more than once and it sucks really not being able to do anything and feeling weird about that but at the same time feel it may be your fault depending on the distance you are away from who needs your help or that special comfort.
I hope your day went well and you have been able to catch up on some much needed sleep. I know exactly how you feel. The last week or so, I was on a constant go, go, go... regardless of the amount of sleep I had, which by the way, was barely anything. Yet, it was no excuse to stay home and catch up. I had to get up and do what I needed to do, and luckily, I survived! So, you will too!
It's the weekend! You should be catching up and enjoying yourself, or at least taking time to relax yourself!!!
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