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Dialogue with my muse |
| I have been carrying on a dialogue for almost a year. During this time we have discussed the progress of my writing, editing, and publishing efforts. Join in to listen to our conversation about my daily writing life and add your comments if you think of anything Calliope and I miss. |
| JOE: Good morning Calliope. CALLIOPE: Good morning Joe. I missed you on Saturday. Too busy? JOE: Yes. I did not have time to talk with you in the morning and did not get back from the writers' retreat until late. CALLIOPE: Nice to have you back this morning. How was the retreat? JOE: Very good. I got a chance to meet some new writers from the Western New York Meetup Group which met with members of the Lift Bridge Writers Group. I found the day very stimulating. CALLIOPE: What was the best thing about it? JOE: I think the enthusiasm of other writers and the mutual support for each others' writing. I also liked being with a writers' group I was not in charge of. CALLIOPE: How did that help? JOE: I did not feel responsible for the group and could concentrate on my own writing and interactions. CALLIOPE: Glad you enjoyed it. Anything else happening this weekend? JOE: Yesterday I attended a memorial service for a fellow member of Unity Church in Rochester. She was most alive just before she died and was fully prepared for her next phase of existence after physical life. CALLIOPE: How does that strike you? JOE: As a good example. I have been thinking about mortality lately. I find the prospect daunting. Donna's example will be helpful to me in living the rest of my life and being ready for the next phase of my existence when the time comes, or more properly, when my time ends. CALLIOPE: An interesting prospect. Do you feel any different because of this realization? JOE: I feel more at peace. I was beginning to become anxious about mortality. CALLIOPE: That's a welcome change. JOE: I hope that being freed from this anxiety will help me concentrate on what I can do rather than on what I might not be able to do in my life. Talk with you tomorrow. |
| JOE: Good morning Calliope. CALLIOPE: Good morning Joe. How are you today? JOE: A bit discombobulated. CALLIOPE: How so? JOE: I finally got my computer back from the shop yesterday. Now I have the task of reinstalling my programs which can be a challenge. CALLIOPE: How's it coming? JOE: Slowly. I think I will need the day to get set up again. CALLIOPE: No literary activity today? JOE: Probably not. CALLIOPE: How about over the weekend? JOE: Tomorrow I am scheduled for a writers' retreat at a farmhouse in Albion. I'm looking forward to meeting some new people and recharging my creative batteries. CALLIOPE: Sounds like fun. JOE: I hope so. I also plan to meet some new contacts, particularly from the Linkup writers group in Rochester. CALLIOPE: What do they have to offer you? JOE: I hear they focus on publishing more than my group. I am hoping they can be helpful in my search for a home for Marital Property once it's finished. I have to leave early tomorrow. I'll talk with you if I have a chance. Otherwise we'll talk on Monday. |
| JOE: Good morning Calliope. CALLIOPE: Good morning Joe. How are you today? JOE: Less burdened by possessions. CALLIOPE: How so? JOE: I recycled bags and bags of old papers and am packing up boxes of old books. CALLIOPE: Where did they all come from? JOE: My years as a psychologist. I had file after file of information which might come in useful sometime but seldom did. I also have a collection of early psychology books documenting the past hundred years or so in my field. CALLIOPE: Do you think you might use them sometime? JOE: Hard to say but these days many old books are available online if I should need to consult them. So far they have mainly taken up space. CALLIOPE: How do you feel with a leaner collection of possessions? JOE: Leaner. It feels like I have been dragging things around for years which clutter my space. I'm glad to have more room. My mind has more space too. CALLIOPE: What's on your agenda today? JOE: More sorting and packing. I think I am ready to get back to work on publicity for The Pastor's Inferno and plan to work on my video "Are You Afraid of This Book" with the equipment I have available rather than waiting any longer to get my video camera back in operation. CALLIOPE: You can always update it in the future if you aren't happy with it. JOE: My thoughts exactly. Time for work. Talk with you tomorrow. |
| JOE: Good morning Calliope. CALLIOPE: Good morning Joe. How are you today? JOE: Fine. The sun's out and it's warming up. CALLIOPE: Enjoy it. You mentioned working on a new column a couple days ago. How is that coming? JOE: Done. I wrote it about Russ's eightieth birthday party and how I wish everyone in the world could get along the way people did at his party. CALLIOPE: That would be nice. Do you think it's possible? JOE: Possible- yes. Likely- realistically I'm not so sure. It seems people have been at each other's throats since Cain and Abel. We don't seem to have the patience as humans to cooperate with each other. CALLIOPE: Humans don't seem to get it. JOE: I can't argue with you there. It seems like we can get along for a while, at least some of us can. Then we dissolve into conflict. Having our own way seems to trump living with each other in peace. CALLIOPE: So what's the answer? JOE: I wish I knew. I have been searching for it as long as I have been writing. There probably isn't one answer or someone would have discovered it by now. The answer doesn't seem to lie in logic, emotion or belief. I don't know what's left. CALLIOPE: How about the arts? JOE: Maybe there's a better chance there. But the arts sometimes express and even incite conflict. CALLIOPE: I can't argue with you there. JOE: Maybe peace is the ultimate challenge for humans and it will only result from our combined efforts on all fronts. We shall see. Talk with you tomorrow. |
| JOE: Good morning Calliope. CALLIOPE: Good morning Joe. How are you today? JOE: Fine, but a little preoccupied. CALLIOPE: With what? JOE: I am planning a move from Batavia to Leroy in the next month and have been busy preparing. CALLIOPE: Tell me about the process. JOE: Since I moved here twelve years ago, I retired as a psychologist and began writing full time. Much of the detritus of my former life still fills my apartment. Now as I prepare to move, I am sorting through the remains of my past life and preparing to move on. CALLIOPE: How does that feel? JOE: A little strange. I don't often stop to look back over past chapters of my life. I just close the volume and move on. Deciding what to throw out and what to pass on to others makes me think of what I have accomplished and what I still want to do. CALLIOPE: Have you come to any great realizations? JOE: I now realize I have been motivated mostly by achievement and helping others. I have become a little unbalanced, letting go of the opportunity to make sure I enjoy life in the process. CALLIOPE: How are you planning to become rebalanced? JOE: By making sure I spend more time with people and also making room for painting and photography. CALLIOPE: My sisters will be proud of you. JOE: Please put in a good word with your sister muses for me. Talk with you tomorrow. |
| JOE: Good morning Calliope. CALLIOPE: Good morning Joe. I missed you on Saturday. JOE: I'm glad someone did. The weekend was very busy with a family reunion and a birthday party. I am doing my best to stay socially active. Sorry I missed you. CALLIOPE: Being more social was one of your goals as I remember. Any literary progress? JOE: I wrote in my journal and was inspired for a column this Saturday. CALLIOPE: What's the topic. JOE: I planned to write about the birthday party for my eighty year old neighbor Russ. At first I just wanted to do it as a tribute to him. CALLIOPE: And it developed further? JOE: It did. I thought of how a large group of family members and friends could come together with no conflict. I wonder whether it would be possible for the world to do this rather than being at each others' throats so often. CALLIOPE: Good question. What do you plan to say? JOE: I don't have have any particular ideas for what to say. I planned to just start writing and be open to your inspiration. CALLIOPE: Thanks for the vote of confidence. JOE: That's what you're best at, isn't it? CALLIOPE: It is my job and I will be glad to help if I can. JOE: Thanks. I'll get out my pen tonight. Talk with you tomorrow. |
| JOE: Good morning Calliope. CALLIOPE: Good morning Joe. How are you today? JOE: Doing well thanks. Yesterday turned out to be a busy one. CALLIOPE: Busy with what? JOE: Sorting through the remains of my life so far. CALLIOPE: You sound like your life's over. JOE: I don't mean it that way. It's just that I have accumulated so much over the years that I no longer need. CALLIOPE: Such as? JOE: All my psychology books, tests, papers and old records. CALLIOPE: How does it feel to let them go? JOE: Like the end of a chapter in my life. I have been hanging on to them thinking I might some day use what I have accumulated as fodder for my writing. CALLIOPE: And now? JOE: Most of what I have stored will never be useful again and is just cluttering my life and living space. I haven't used any of it in years. Plenty happens each day to inspire me in my writing. CALLIOPE: Aren't you afraid of becoming stagnant in your retirement? JOE: No. I stay involved with people to some extent and also have access to all the media I can stand. I don't think I will be at a loss for stimulation. If anything my challenge will be to keep it at bay. Talk with you tomorrow. |
| JOE: Good morning Calliope. CALLIOPE: Good morning Joe. How are you today? JOE: Still a little vexed from yesterday. CALLIOPE: On what account? JOE: My backup computer caught a virus which took me a while to erase. CALLIOPE: Where did it come from? JOE: Strangely enough it seemed to be living in an anti-spyware program I downloaded. CALLIOPE: Odd. But now it's fixed? JOE: Seems to be. My main computer should be back shortly, but I have spent an inordinate amount of time on technology lately. CALLIOPE: Have you had time to do anything else? JOE: I painted yesterday (Cape Neddick Lighthouse, Maine) as well as doing some weeding of my apartment. CALLIOPE: What have you found? JOE: Old files I no longer need, clothes I don't wear any more and books. CALLIOPE: Is it hard to let go of books? JOE: That's the most difficult part for me. I have quite a collection of writing related books which I think I will keep as well as some of my favorite fiction which I keep for sentimental reasons. I could always borrow the fiction books from the library if I need them again. Still it's hard to let them go. Talk with you tomorrow. |
| JOE: Good morning Calliope. CALLIOPE: Good morning Joe. How are you today? JOE: Fine. After a deluge last night, the sky is clear blue with a few friendly clouds. I am feeling at peace and optimistic. CALLIOPE: What brought all this on? JOE: I have been contemplating my conversation with Gerry which we discussed yesterday. I think he is right that to some extent my early conflicts still plague me. CALLIOPE: Which conflicts? JOE: The ones which made me feel it was my responsibility to make sense of the world and to some extent contribute to saving it. CALLIOPE: Rather messianic isn't it? JOE: Now that you mention it, yes. I took it upon myself to contribute to making the world a better place in which to live. I chose to do this through my writing. CALLIOPE: Wherein lies the conflict? JOE: Despite what I have done in my own small way, I see the world as largely an egocentric pursuit by many of its denizens. It seems most people care mostly about themselves and not so much about others. Pursuit of what they want seldom seems to involve consideration of others' needs. CALLIOPE: Is it you job to change this? JOE: I am coming to realize that it is not. I think I have made suggestions in my writing of alternative ways to live including a better harmony between our own lives and those of others. But it is not up to me to make the world a perfect place before I leave it. CALLIOPE: Good realization. So what now? JOE: I will continue to offer any suggestions which occur to me for consideration of anyone who will listen. I will also concentrate more on enjoying the world as I find it. Talk with you tomorrow. |
| JOE: Good morning, Calliope. CALLIOPE: Good morning Joe. I take it your backup computer is behaving this morning. JOE: It is. Nice to be with you. CALLIOPE: What's on your mind today? JOE: I had an interesting conversation with my friend Gerry yesterday. CALLIOPE: What did he have to say? JOE: His comments were about my exchanges with you. He knew me many years ago when I was trying to figure out the meaning of life and what to do with mine in particular. CALLIOPE: And? JOE: He saw our conversations as reminiscent of my earlier struggles. To him it sounded like I was still locked in the same struggles which plagued me then. CALLIOPE: Do you agree? JOE: I had to stop to think about it. I was not aware of the similarities before he mentioned them. In some ways he is right. I still have many of the same questions about the meaning of life, how it should be lived and what makes people act as they do. CALLIOPE: Do you think you have changed over the years? JOE: The questions are still the same. Maybe my challenge is to spend my life pondering the same questions and keep coming up with little insights about them. In that sense I haven't changed. However I don't feel the desperation I once felt to have the answers. I now look on the same issues as life's mysteries. I can contemplate them and explore possible explanations but don't feel a life and death struggle or that my life will self destruct if I don't find the answers immediately. I think I have become more patient over the years. CALLIOPE: What do you think he was getting at? JOE: I think he would like to see me be able to relax more and enjoy life rather than being locked in a struggle to understand it. He encouraged me to explore activities such as painting which I did briefly and then jumped right back into the fray with my writing. I think I will do a little painting today. Talk with you tomorrow. |
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Hope they like snow! 
I just tell them to go get a life...
It's a sunshiny 24 here at the moment; 19 in Buffalo.