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 |    My primary Writing.com blog. |
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Logocentric (adj). Regarding words and language as a fundamental expression of an external reality (especially applied as a negative term to traditional Western thought by postmodernist critics). Sometimes I just write whatever I feel like. Other times I respond to prompts, many taken from the following places:  "The Soundtrackers Group"  "Blogging Circle of Friends " "Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise" "JAFBG" "Take up Your Cross" Thanks for stopping by!  |
"JAFBG" | Prompt ▼ One of the most backwards-thinking and harmful concepts we've ever come up with as a society is that someone's worth is inherently tied to their productivity, and that basic human needs such as food, housing, etc. need to be earned. No, people who receive state benefits shouldn't be forced to volunteer for charity, FFS. While there is certainly a conversation to be had around setting appropriate guardrails and systems by which society can address abuses of public assistance programs, that is not the same thing as a work requirement in order to qualify for those benefits in the first place. The people who rely on public assistance are not a monolith. There are people who can't work for any of a number of reasons, including but not limited to disability, lack of skills, lack of opportunity, and existing socioeconomic biases. Are we really going to say someone, "Hey, because you're unable to work for a local charity, you don't deserve to eat? To have a roof over your head? To seek medical treatment?" Human dignity shouldn't have a cost attached to it. It's also important to keep the bigger picture in mind, and to weigh the scope of a solution against its unintended consequences. Take all these dumb "election integrity" laws (a.k.a. voter suppression) making the rounds in state legislatures these days. How widespread is the problem of election fraud, and what is the cost of eliminating it entirely? Let's look at some data from the State of Texas: Since 2004, Texas has issued 534 election-related criminal charges (which in and of itself is misleading because at least one individual was responsible for 100+ of those charges because they tampered with the ballots of disabled senior citizens on a large scale). Even if you count all 534 charges over the past 18 years, that's still less than 30 charges per year, in as state where an election typically has between 5 and 15 million votes counted. That means election fraud only applies to somewhere between 0.0002% and 0.0006% of the ballots. And yet the new voting restriction laws in Texas just resulted in 23,000 ballots (about 17% of those received) being rejected from the latest primary, which means that these measures are combating a one-in-five-thousand problem by invalidating the otherwise legitimate votes of one-in-five citizens. The solution is creating more of a problem (albeit a different one) than the original problem ever was. Some might argue that's the whole point, but that's a topic for another blog post. But consider a work requirement for public benefits in the same context. Let's say we're very concerned about the number of people who receive state benefits that are, at best, kicking back and living on free assistance. Or, at worst, are actually scamming the system. So we decide that we're going to make everybody who receives that assistance "work" to "earn" it. How many people would be kicked off those assistance programs because of their inability to work? And aren't those the people that, by definition, need the assistance the most? How many people would we be hurting to ensure the handful of bad actors didn't get away with their fraud? Don't get me wrong, the system shouldn't be wide open and allowed to go unchecked. There should be a mechanism for evaluating cases and determining fraudulent behavior and other abuses of the public trust. But the onus of that should be on the state, not the individuals receiving the assistance. If you're worried about too many freeloaders on public assistance programs, vote to raise taxes and allocate more to the enforcement of those programs rather than putting heavier burdens on those who rely on the programs. If you're worried about voter integrity, vote for candidates who advocate more resources for and improvements to the election systems rather than those who look for ways to simply make it harder for people to actually vote. If you hate abortion, vote for a better social safety net so that expectant mothers have a range of options (adoption through a well-functioning foster system, being a stay at home mom with public assistance, being a working mom with access to affordable childcare, etc.) so that abortion is no longer the only viable alternative to supporting and caring for a child - often alone and with little support - for the next eighteen years. No one should be forced to work in order to meet their basic survival needs, and the idea of requiring people to volunteer for a charity in exchange for the assistance they need to survive is a misguided concept that will create more problems than it solves. |
(566 words) "Invalid Item" | March Musical Monkey Madness Day #10Prompt ▼ Andre got into the bar business as a matter of necessity. He acquired the Banana Bar specifically, as a matter of circumstance. In the days following that first "world" tour with The Muse ("Andre's Tour" ), Andre was just a mild-mannered monkey with a portative organ ("Andre's Instrument" ) hoping to make a name for himself with his magnum opus, a K-pop inspired Christian folk metal epic currently entitled Breakdancing My Way Through The Bible: A Folk Metal Odyssey ("Andre's Genre" ). But once he received his first royalty check for $3.28, he realized he wasn't going to be able to finance his dream project without some additional capital. As one might imagine, investing in a musical concept album at the bleeding edge of the intersection between K-pop, Christian music, and folk metal was a tough sell. Andre wasn't able to find anyone who would give him the money outright, and his attempt at a Kickstarter failed miserably. In retrospect, offering backer rewards like, "whatever's between the cushions of my couch" and "a Kraft mac-and-cheese dinner cooked for you by the visionary artist" probably didn't do him any favors. Nor did the surprisingly concerted effort by the various autocephalous archdiocese of New York in response to the unfortunate incident with a non-portative organ ("Andre's Termination" ).However, with some support (financial, not moral) from Steve Winwood ("Andre's Teacher" ) plus a surprising amount of loose change raised from street performances of a metal version of "We Don't Talk About Bruno," "Andre's Song" , Andre was able to scrape together several thousand dollars to invest in a business that would create some income to help fund his passion project. That several thousand dollars got nearly cut in half when Andre got a call in the middle of the night from The Muse ("Andre's Partner" ) who needed to be bailed out of a Micronesian prison ("Andre's Legacy" ) for unspecified crimes against a Pelew flying fox, and Andre felt like he owed him one thanks to how much The Muse had helped him with his magnum opus ("Andre's Collaboration" ).Long story short, Andre wasn't exactly able to be selective about his investment opportunities. And that's where the Banana Bar comes into the story. Andre, feeling a little discouraged at having so much of his hard-earned cash go to bailing out a friend and limiting his investment options, happened upon the Banana Bar while he was in need of a drink. He stopped in and was enjoying the best Rumchata Banana Cream Pie cocktail he'd ever had in his life ("Andre's Party" ) when he overheard the then-proprietor of the bar discussing some costly updates with a repairman she had called out. Money was tight and she had no way to pay for the needed updates. Andre, whose musical talents were rivaled only by his generosity, left the remainder of his hard-earned cash as a massive 50,000% tip on his Rumchata drink.The proprietor rushed outside to ask why he'd overpaid for an $8 drink by about $4,000. Andre just shrugged and said that he believed she'd put it to better use than he would. She invited him back for another drink, and they got to talking. Talking turned into repeat visits, and repeat visits turned into friendship. Ultimately, when the woman passed away a couple years later, she left the Banana Bar to Andre in her will. He continues to own and operate the bar in her memory, while working on his music on the side. |
(302 words) "Invalid Item" | March Musical Monkey Madness Day #9Prompt ▼ Were The Muse and Andre a one-hit wonders in the sense that they only had one song and one tour together as an actual performing act? Technically, that's correct. But that's not to say that The Muse and Andre stopped being collaborators. After all, you can't call a concept album an "odyssey" without putting in an enormous amount of work, and Andre frequently relies on the creative efforts of The Muse as he puts his magnum opus together. In that way, they're a lot like Lin-Manuel Miranda and Alex Lacamoire. Aaron Sorkin and Thomas Schlamme. Steven Spielberg and John Williams. Gwyneth Paltrow and Huey Lewis. It's an open question (albeit among very few) whether additional collaborations between The Muse and Andre would have catapulted them into the mainstream. Both are staggeringly talented musicians, but were perhaps ahead of their time. Christian metal and folk metal hadn't really been combined before (or since), and when you throw in their mutual love and incorporation of K-pop... well, the overlap on the Venn Diagram for that one is pretty teeny tiny. Still, Andre is undeterred in his mission to bring Breakdancing My Way Through The Bible: A Folk Metal Odyssey to the public. He continues to work on it in his off hours from the Banana Bar, and frequently finds himself running ideas by The Muse. These days, the two of them mostly collaborate via a private Discord server that was set up for them by a Banana Bar patron who couldn't settle out his tab one night. They've been using it ever since, both because The Muse is currently on his South Pacific Island Nation tour, and because neither of them can figure out how to Skype or Zoom. Plus, both of them agree that the Tenor GIF keyboard is far superior to Giphy. |
(367 words) "Invalid Item" | March Musical Monkey Madness Day #8Prompt ▼ After modest success on local radio stations, Andre and The Muse's record label decided it was time for the big leagues and set them up on a world tour. Okay, maybe not the "big leagues" (Los Angeles and New York and Chicago are expensive!), but definitely the concert world equivalent of a minor league Triple-A affiliate. Okay, maybe more like the double-A farm system. Their United States tour included stops at the finest dive bars, public amphitheaters, and empty warehouse spaces the following cities had to offer:  Calexico, CA / Mexicali, MX* Yuma, AZ Las Cruces, NM Kileen, TX Texarkana, TX Murfreesboro, TN Sandusky, OH Flint, MI Fort Dodge, IA Bismarck, ND Bozeman, MT Laramie, WY Vernal, UT Winnemucca, NV Bend, OR Redding, CAThe record label was a little tight on funds, so The Muse and Andre often had to sleep on the tour bus (which was actually the label president's rusted-out 1987 Ford Econoline 150 Camper) and found themselves having to work to earn their meals. "Corporate events with coordinators who couldn't care less" and "weddings that had lost their DJ at the last minute" were their real bread-and-butter during this tour. Sometimes quite literally, because they found themselves often subsisting on leftover table bread and pats of butter. The world tour being a "big success" was somewhat of an exaggeration on the part of the label to hype up their two biggest performing artists at the time. Still, if you consider the fact that they started the tour with zero albums sold and ended the tour with... checks notes.... fourteen albums sold, then it was quite a success. * The opening set of this show was held in the parking lot of the Jack in the Box on Rockwood Avenue between 1st and 2nd Streets, with the second set following from the dining room of "FLAUTAS Mi Nuevo Ranchito" off Calle Agustin Melgar. Some people accused the label of pulling a stunt just so they could say it was a "world tour" spanning multiple countries. (Those people were Andre and The Muse.) (They also happened to be correct.) |
(317 words) "Invalid Item" | March Musical Monkey Madness Day #7Prompt ▼ NOTE: This song is set to something along the lines of the first song ("Siegfried's Song" - 00:00 to 02:53) Andre and The Muse's first hit song together ended up also being their first foray into Christian Folk Metal. The Muse, well known bad boy of the Christian music scene, joined forces with Andre and his folk metal roots to come up with the following song: (rasping, wailing vocals) Jeeesussss King of Kings Son of the Living God Alpha and Omega Jeeesussss Come have your way with me Help me to really see What is now and what will be Oh pretty, pretty plea(se) (rasping, wailing vocals) Jeeesussss Fountain of Living Waters True Vine Lamb of God Jeeesussss (fading out) The Way The Truth The Life The lyrics are short, of course, but intended to be repeated over and over again for nine and a half minutes straight. The success of this track is what ended up inspiring Andre to develop his Breakdancing My Way Through The Bible: A Folk Metal Odyssey in a similar fashion where, if played straight through and only once, the concept album is done in about twenty minutes. But, out of respect for his fans, and to bring resonance and gravitas to the material, the repetition of the lyrics has BMWTTB:AFMO currently at a run-time of nearly eight hours. While Andre admits that this will likely be problematic from the standpoint of booking venues and playing enough shows to offset the cost to stage everything, he has to give the source material its due, and obviously if one is to do a K-pop-inspired folk metal magnum opus on the glory of God structured in parallel with the Holy Bible, one best come prepared to wrestle with it for a while. Bathroom breaks during the show are highly discouraged, so please don't bring any beverages into the theater... for your own sake. |
(305 words) "Invalid Item" | March Musical Monkey Madness Day #6Prompt ▼ Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes. Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton. Brandy and Monica. Jay-Z and Alicia Keys. Beyonce and Lady Gaga. Everybody knows that, as a musical artist, what you can accomplish on your own can often pale in comparison to what you can accomplish with another talented performer. Since the beginning of the modern recording industry, duets and musical collaborations have become hit songs, breakthrough concept albums, and ways to create exciting new sounds for audiences to enjoy. Which is not to say that the collaboration between Andre and the mercurial artist known professionally as "The Muse" was purely about public exposure or money, even if it was mostly about those things. Andre's portative organ playing was renowned in the world of folk metal, but he had very little exposure to mainstream rock. And The Muse was looking for a new sound to supplement the guitar-bass-keyboard-drums quartet that's been so popular among rock bands for years. It all started late one night when The Muse finished a set early and decided to wander the streets in search of some late-night life. He was walking by the Banana Bar when he heard the haunting sounds of a portative organ doing a rendition of Van Halen's "Panama." He wandered into the bar and the rest, as they say, is history. The Muse invited Andre up to his hotel suite to discuss a potential collaboration. After spending the night in a booze-and-narcotics-infused creative frenzy, they awoke to a trashed hotel room, a ten thousand dollar room service bill, a basically finished song, and two-thirds of the first act of Breakdancing My Way Through The Bible sketched out. They also woke up in a completely drained jacuzzi tub wearing each other's clothes, with no memory of what led to that. And they've been working together off-and-on ever since. |
(315 words) "Invalid Item" | March Musical Monkey Madness Day #5Prompt ▼ Andre is as susceptible as anyone else to getting earworms (the songs that get stuck in your head, not those gross things that cats sometimes have to get medication for). The tune du jour changes from time to time, but the one he's currently been stuck with for the past few months has been "We Don't Talk About Bruno" from the Encanto soundtrack. Which isn't surprising, really, as that's a very popular song among kids and their parents right now. However, Andre was never one for following the status quo, and he does have a background in folk metal to consider, so he's instead opted to have a heavy metal cover of the song by Skar Productions featuring Alina Lesnick: Obviously Lin-Manuel Miranda's lyrics are genius, but for those of you who find the Disney version a little too tame, or have ever thought to yourself, "This song from a family-friendly musical would be way better with someone absolutely shredding a bass," then this might be the right choice for you. Love kids' songs but don't want to be caught dead blasting them from your car stereo at a stop sign without some sick speed drumming? Maybe consider this version of the song. This is exactly the song that Andre needs to get into the mental headspace necessary to work on his Christian K-pop folk metal passion project. Just a couple quick versions and guitar riffs are enough to get the creative juices flowing. He's even considered inviting Skar Productions (and Lin-Manuel Miranda, obvi) to collaborate on a couple of the tracks. But even if it's a no from them, he'll always have this sensational match-up to lift his spirits. Andre can't see himself replacing this song with another earworm anytime soon, although he might be tempting fate by listening to a number of different grindcore covers of Eddie Money's "Take Me Home Tonight." |
(348 words) "Invalid Item" | March Musical Monkey Madness Day #4Prompt ▼ Andre's initially studied under Terence Fletcher from the prestigious Shaffer Conservatory. While most people avoided Fletcher after his abusive methods were laid bare with his treatment of Andrew Neiman, Andre's parents thought to themselves, "Well there's a guy who knows how to push others to achieve greatness." They immediately enrolled a young Andre in the music program at Shaffer and specifically requested Fletcher mentor their son in the ways of the portative organ. Fletcher, of course, was more than happy to find a new student with nearly as much promise as Andrew. Fletcher worked with Andre and it was an environment brimming with positive energy, creativity, and mutual respect. On graduation day, Fletcher pulled Andre aside and offered his favorite pupil some kind words of encouragement as the collegiate chimp was about to embark out into the professional world. For better or worse (mostly worse), Fletcher made Andre the monkey he is today. Both in terms of his musical ability and his psychiatric bills. Andre also studied under other great organists like Steve Winwood and Booker T. Jones, but he doesn't really like to talk about that out of respect for their privacy and fear of breaching their NDAs. After a youth spent studying under some of the finest organists and music teachers, he was ready to strike out on his own. Just a monkey and his portative organ in the city. Andre spent two years playing the finest subway stations and park benches the Big Apple had to offer. And, ultimately, it was those two years of living on spare change and old bananas that taught him more than anything. He honed his craft and sustained himself on nothing but his love for music and reclaimed bananas from the dumpster behind the Whole Foods at 7th and 24th in Chelsea. Whenever people ask Andre which musical greats taught him the ropes (or pipes, at the case may be), he will often say Fletcher. Or Steve. Or Booker. But in his heart of hearts, his greatest teacher will always be The City That Never Sleeps. |
(350 words) "Invalid Item" | March Musical Monkey Madness Day #3Prompt ▼ During the first of Andre's two appearances as one of the musical guests on Saturday Night Live, he really hit it off with Ariana Grande who was hosting that night's show and for whom he was performing backing vocals (and backing portative organ-ing, of course). After the show, they split a half-dozen donuts from the 24-hour Dunkin' in Rockefeller Center. While Andre was a little miffed at only having half a French Cruller to himself before the svelte songstress scarfed the rest of them, he had to admit that the idea of a collaboration appealed to him. The plan was to debut their new song at Yankee Stadium during the home season opener of the MLB season. Unfortunately, while Andre was riding the M train to the stadium, a portly passenger parked himself on top of Andre's portative organ and pancaked it to pieces. And unlike guitars or keyboards, you can't find them at just any music shop. Desperate times called for desperate measures, and the only place Andre could find a viable replacement was at Holy Mother of God Church down the street from the stadium. In a panic, Andre broke into the church sanctuary, disassembled their organ piece by piece, and transported it to the stadium where he erected it again on the infield where he was to perform with Ariana. Was he four hours late to rehearsal? Yes. Was the game postponed on account of instrumental interference with play? Also yes. Andre was arrested for trespassing, grand theft pipes, and organ trafficking (although he's pretty sure that last one was a misapplication of the penal code). Needless to say, he was fired from the gig and Ariana Grande had to distance herself from him for P.R. reasons. While all that was to be expected, he had to admit that it hurt a little when he discovered he had been replaced by Curious George doing a soft-shoe number to accompany her singing "34+35." Anyway, that's the story of the one time Andre was fired. And why he has an irrational loathing for The Man In The Yellow Hat. |
(430 words) "Invalid Item" | March Musical Monkey Madness Bonus PromptPrompt ▼ I wake up with a pounding headache thanks to the hot afternoon sunlight blaring down on me. Where am I? It appears to be some sort of back alley. Why does it stink? I'm in a dumpster. Thankfully it's mostly empty. Why am I cold? I appear to be wearing nothing but a sombrero. Getting to my feet, I crawl out of the dumpster and strategically move the sombrero south of the border to offer a modicum of decency. Peeking out at the busy street beyond the alley, I noticed the street sign. Avenida Benito Juarez ... HOW DID I GET TO MEXICO?!? Last I can remember, we were all at the Banana Bar celebrating Adherennium Plotting something's birthday. Andre had given him an extraordinary gift in promising to name a major character after him in his magnum opus . The drinks flowed like a river (as did Andre's portative organ melodies), and everyone was in good spirits. At least until ... well, things get pretty fuzzy after that. I borrowed a phone off a nearby tourist who took pity on me with a "been there" look, and called up Andre at the Banana Bar. I had so many questions. "Andre?" the person on the other end of the phone asked. "No, I'm looking for Andre," I reacted in surprise. Andre was always at the Banana Bar. "H-He... he's missing," the voice on the other end of the line stammered. "I thought you might be him calling to tell us he's okay." "When was the last time you saw Andre?" "The night of Adherennium Plotting something's birthday party. On the 3rd." "Wasn't that last night?" "That was four days ago." WHAT HAPPENED TO THE PAST FOUR DAYS?!? "I see..." I began, not really knowing how to finish that thought because I didn't. "Andre and a bunch of friends made a particularly strong batch of Rumchata Banana Cream Pie cocktails and, well, it kind of went downhill from there." I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. Those damned drinks. Every single time I tell myself it's the last time I'll ever drink one of those infernal drinks ... and every time someone (usually Andre) talks me into trying it again. On the plus side, if Rumchata Banana Cream Pies were involved, waking up naked in Mexico four days later would be considered by many to be getting off light in the consequences department. Now I just have to figure out how to get home. And how to find Andre. |
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