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My first attempt at comedy. |
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Eloise stumbled through the double doors, into the foyer of the stately hillside mansion. Panting, she struggled to steady her breathing. To stay upright. Her emerald green eyes danced about the room anxiously, searching for any signs of life. No one was there. She smiled and straightened from her doubled over position, tugging at the hem of her flirtatiously short black cocktail dress. I made it first! Her black stiletto heels clacked across the imported Italian marble that paved the way through the massive entranceway. Glimpsing her reflection in one of the many ornate mirrors that lined the way, she stopped abruptly. Gasping, she took in her disheveled appearance. Windblown hair. Smeared mascara. Full lips that no longer shone. Swallowing hard, she fought back tears. I WILL compose myself! Eloise looked back at the doors, expecting them to fly open at any moment. Perhaps there is still time! Running to the mirror, she formed her lackluster lips into a determined line. Snatching open her black clutch bag she said aloud, “good thing I thought ahead!” After dabbing at raccoon eyes with a saliva moistened Kleenex, she whipped out her mascara and gave her lush lashes a touch up. As Eloise attempted to pull her look back together, her mind could not help but wander. She called it A.D.D, but others had another, not so nice name for it. Many people underestimated Eloise. Told her that she wouldn’t amount to much. Ha! Look at me now! In a MANSION! Soon to be MY mansion! Not every girl had a chance to marry her Prince Charming, but Eloise had plans. She knew just how to work this golden goose for all that it was worth. Of course, she had not expected the obstacles that would be in the way. A majestic walk in the mountains, my eye! She had nearly broken her neck scaling the winding hill that led to the manor. In Jimmy-Choo stiletto’s, no less! But she knew that this was all part of it. She would show them that she wanted it most! With a final sweep of pink lip gloss, Eloise pressed her glistening lips together and gave her wavy brunette hair a final shake. Perfection. And, I am still the only one here! Eloise was pleased with herself. A major disaster averted! Setting her sights ahead, she resisted skipping through the foyer that lead into the expansive Great Room. Eloise felt at home. I am so close! She ignored the inkling that something didn’t feel right, and started looking for her next clue. Anything that would tell her what to do next. Maybe I should wait here. Making herself comfortable, she reclined elegantly on the chaise lounge. Eloise couldn’t believe her luck when she received her acceptance letter. She had always thought that they would call if she was selected, but she was wrong. Instead, a package arrived, Express Mail, informing her of her good fortune. Eloise was on top of the world! Unfortunately, once she stepped off of the plane, she had to figure out the rest on her own. First clue: Breakfast without fresh fruit is like a day without sunshine. Make sure that I never go without a taste of sunshine, and a majestic walk in the mountains will await you. Eloise didn’t hear the rumbling of the fruit cart as it rolled by because her eyes had already locked in on a pickup truck packed with boxed oranges. Fearing that she would miss her ride, she bolted outside. “Wait, wait!” Wildly flailing arms flagged down the driver. “Wantin’ a ride, little lady? Headin’ to The Hills?” He was polite. “Yes! Of course!” What a dumb question, Eloise thought as she yanked open the door and climbed in. It wasn’t until later that she realized that she didn’t have her luggage. Earl refused to go back. “Sorry little lady, got a deadline. ‘sides, it’s probably already been deemed a ‘terroristic threat’ an’ imploded.” Earl choked on his laugh. Eloise didn’t find that amusing, but could not convince Earl to turn around. It’s okay, she told herself. Keep my eyes on the prize! This is a long ride, Eloise was thinking, and just when all of her senses were about to go on alert, a sign loomed ahead. Majestic Manor “That’s it! STOP!” Earl obeyed. “You sure? We ain’t quite made it to The Hills.” He removed the dingy blue cap from his head and scratched. “Of course, this is it! Majestic Manor.” Why did they send me such a fucking moron? Eloise pushed open the door, nearly tripping in her heels. She had decided to doll up in the ladies room. After all, she didn’t know when she would first set eyes on her prince. Ignoring the stupid old man, she stomped across the deserted two lane highway and sighed with dismay. I have to WALK this? Too busy devising her next plan, she didn’t hear Earls offer to drive her. Just Do it! Her favorite motto from childhood attacked her brain. I looked hot in those Jordan’s, she reminisced. Determination pumped through her calves as she ascended the twisting road that led to Majestic Manor. Her gut, desire and sheer will was paying off! Or so she thought. Eloise awakened to a small, clammy hand on her arm. “Who are you?” A tiny voice asked. Eloise’s eyes widened. Where did this kid come from? “Mommy!” The little girl was off. Mommy? Eloise scrambled off of the chaise lounge and moments later, a regal, long legged woman walked in. “Oh no. NO! Not again! I have had it! Cheating bastard!” Confusion clouded Eloise’s head as she watched the enraged woman thunder out. A split second before Eloise commanded her legs to move, the lady returned, pistol in hand. As if the world around her was at a standstill, Eloise watched the woman aim the gun between her eyes. One last thought fluttered through Eloise's mind... Wait… “The Bachelor” is married?? Word Count: 997 |
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