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 |  Sing it if you understand... |
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2Am and I'm still awake writing a song If I get it all down on paper it's no longer inside of me threaten' the life it belongs to. And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd Cause these words are my diary screamin' out aloud And I know that you'll use them however you want to. But you can't jump the track We're like cars on a cable And life's like an hourglass glued to the table, No one can find the rewind button now Sing it if you understand...and breath... ~ Anna Nalick ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This blaze was destined for you to be refined My plans for you this battle I had to require Even though, the fire is known to leave ashes behind These ashes will leave in you a God-Given Fire... ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This woman prays... ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ~ Isaiah 61:3 To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion to give unto them Beauty for Ashes the oil of joy for mourning the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness that they might be called trees of righteousness the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified. |
Can you believe I haven’t blogged today?  And no… I’m not out of town! Fridays are my short days at work. I got in about 1PM and tooted around for about an hour, laid my head down on my pillow and was out like a Scout for a good five hours. My mother called, left message, my answering machine is on the nightstand next to my bed. I heard nothing… … was sleeping good! Woke up about 6ish… and I could go back to sleep now, still a sleepy head. I’ve had a sinus’ headache from hell for the last week. Finally! I turned to someone for help! My mother. She brought me a package of my trusty “Advil cold and Sinus” up to work today. After she left, I looked in the bag and along with the box of meds sat a $20 bill. My mom is so nice to me. I just love her lots. It was a hectic day at the jobsite. John is gone for the next two weeks on vacation. Sarah quit. Mona is on vacation till Monday. Ms. Mary and Cindy are swamped with book keeping. This is the time we get lots of donations. John and Sarah are our best workers… so now it’s just Sherry and Eve to run everything back there. I took what I could to lighten the load for them. It’s our most hectic time of the year and as always we are short staffed. My favorite truck driver, Tom, is working on a volunteer basis three days out of the week and only clocking in as employee on Monday’s and Friday’s. He is retired and can not make over a certain amount or it will effect his benefits. So… the guy is working for FREE three days out of the week. Is that fucking cool or what? You know that’s the kind of people that make me want to keep doing what I do… I found a little photo frame for him; it had some cute little saying about Grandkids and Granddads. He brings his little grand daughter, Courtney, up to work with him at times. She latched on to me from day one. Well I have that silliness that kids like, and I play with them, let them use my phone and play secretary and stuff. She drew a picture of me… I’m standing outside the food bank, it’s really cute but I have red hair in the pic? What? She said she didn’t have a yellow crayon! She had used it all up on the sun she colored the day before.  I hung it on my bulletin board in the break room… got my name across it in little kid handwriting and of course I demanded she autograph it for me. There are so many personalities that pass through the food bank. You really have to be adaptable to even hang in such a place. This is why so many can’t stick around. They can’t bend with the breeze. I have cultivated that quality and really it don’t come natural to me. I want to demand it go my way at all times! But I’ve learned that if it doesn’t come easy… just let it go. And really that’s not how I truly feel… You have to FIGHT for what you want and never give up! But as far as living day to day… so much bullshit is just better left unsaid… dwell on bullshit NOT! I am the outsider up at the food bank. I am not in any of the cliches. I don’t have a buddy up at work … I am a loner, but I’m real with all of them. I’m like everybody’s buddy. I’m available to them but I’m not. I don’t indulge in gossip. I don’t want to hear or talk smack about anyone. Sure, we all got something wrong with us, but I choose to focus on what is right with us, as much as possible. Except the truck driver that doesn’t like me, Raymond. I just avoid him as much as possible and at times I take great joy in killing him with kindness. Eve told me yesterday that I use to have the “Anna Nicole” carefree attitude but that she noticed since I sobered up I’m not as carefree and seem easier offended. I didn’t much like hearing that. I made a point of telling her that I am a much happier person in sobriety, but she is maybe right in that I’m not carefree anymore. Life is not one big party! I have much that I want to accomplish. I heard from shanelle   today… She is unable to get online but wanted me to tell everyone hello, said she will be back just as soon as she can. I sure miss her. bugzy is baaaccck!! is sure right with her comment on my entry yesterday. Oh it was a roller coaster. I even cried yesterday. I mean real tears… it hurts to see Sarah go from my life like she did. I doubt that I will see her again, if so, it will be a good while. But in a way, it was also like an ‘In your face’ thing. Here I am holding on to my sobriety like it’s the breath I breathe… and it is… but by all appearances, Sarah seems to be doing the best out of us. She looked good, really. She slimmed up some, she was all decked out and how that ‘in love’ glow on her face. She appears to be very happy. Again, it made me stop and consider my ways. But I recognized that she is living for the moment and I am investing into my future. I’ve spent to many years just living for the moment. I’m ready to step up. I’m going through a funk right now. I am plugged into the right source, and it’s keeping me afloat. I’m going through like a phase or something. I care very little for that which I cared so much about in the past. I don’t know exactly where my cares lie. I’m still not feeling very social but I’m not totally withdrawn either. My appearance has changed quite a bit. I’m not primping like I use too. It just isn’t what is important to me right now. I have decided to stop taking my birth control pills. I never was taking them to prevent pregnancy cause you know my fingers can’t knock me up! I was taking them for hormone balance but something is making me feel bad and I can only think it is the Yaz. My mother told me today that the body has a way of balancing itself out, repairing itself naturally, she recommended that I stop them also. She isn’t an advocate of medicine. She believes the less … the better. I tend to feel that way too. Now that I have had my surgery and I have got a good hold on my sobriety, I’m thinking it’s best to just let God’s machinery work as he programmed it too. The seasons are changing … in so many ways. I am really pleased with where I am in myself, though this phase isn’t the most enjoyable experience. It is necessary to be the person I want to become. An Angel says: Love is something you cannot give away entirely. It always comes back to you. |
| It’s been a weird day. It’s like every thing is changing and it’s boggling my mind, sort of. Sarah quit today. She came in about 2:00, gave me a hug… she was high… tweaking. She’s lost I’d say about 30lbs in 2 weeks. She has a boyfriend now. He looks like she picked him up off the side of the road, looks dirty. She said she got a job at a bar and she’s not coming back to the food bank. She started crying when she hugged me then went upstairs and jumped on John’s lap as he drove the forklift through the warehouse.  My bosslady told me after Sarah left… that we are no longer going to hire those that are fresh out of prison. She said it’s just too much of a hassle. She told me to put ads in the paper for two truck drivers and two warehouse workers. My landlady is now avoiding my step dad. She will not talk to him anymore. I’m going to have to call her and try to get my money from them. I ran into maintenance dude at the store and he said they have done all they know to do about my A/C. He really didn’t say much. I think I’m going to stop taking the birthcontrol pills. They are expensive and they make me feel like shit. I’ve had a headache for three days now but that’s nothing with the BC but just the weather change… allergies and sinus’ kick my ass … I can’t really explain the feeling of today but it was just weird. My sponsor’s sponsor’s husband died… so the funeral is tomorrow. His death was expected. I think the year mark is trippin me out but I’m not even capable of expressing how I feel about it yet. It’s just been an emotional day. I’m really tired too… I need to go to bed. |
| I don’t remember seeing the leafs last year? But I wasn’t really you know here last year either! I was but I wasn’t… Don’t you know I’m a vulnerable woman you’re supposed to tip toe around my ass! I’m only sixty days sober! You know when there are different people with different MINDS… disagreements, misunderstandings are going to happen. I’m not one to throw away anyone that desires to be a part of my life. I’m capable of getting over and forgiving wrongs… because the fact is AIN’T NOBODY PURE. I can dish it out… and I can TAKE it too… you can say anything to me and I may get my panties in a wad… I may get pissed off but I’ll think about… I’ll eventually see my part and if I felt I was wrong… I’ll own up to it. When ‘what’s her name’ took it on herself to be mother hen to me… and shot me a comment and tell me what she thought MY problem was… yeah, I got pissed. You know I have a mother… a damn good one… I have a sponsor… a damn good one. I have a head on my shoulders… a damn good one. I’m not here to get advice… I’m here to vent… to release. Sure… I’ll take all suggestions but when you start screaming at me through the written word and acting like you are ABOVE me… I just don’t appreciate it… and I’m one to retaliate. Things are going to change… and rather quickly. I feel the change already within myself… and soon I will utilize this site for what it’s here for… and that’s to WRITE and not just BARF all over everyone… but I’m fucking NEW at living life on life’s terms and I have to go at my own pace. Sometimes I know what I write is fucked up the minute I write it… but I got to get that shit out of me somehow… I chose to do it here. For the most part, I have received a lot of support and encouragement from everyone that dropped me a line. And even the comment ‘what’s her name’ sent… had some truth to it… I saw it… It still pissed me off… Why? Her ARROGANCE. But… I would have gotten over that… because the fact is… IF you spot it, You got it! And I am an arrogant woman myself. I have learned over the years to bump myself down a few notches because the fact is… Arrogance is self-deception. Well… that would have blown over… I would have got over it. We could have forgiven each other and created a tighter bond then we already had… but she did something that I find very hard to forgive. She pasted and copied from my PRIVATE journal that I authorized her access to because I TRUSTED her… and she posted it for all of WDC to read. She did this with hopes of hurting and embarrassing me. She didn’t know that EVERYTHING I had written in that private entry … I had TOLD the people I wrote about… what I thought already! The one’s that really mattered to me anyway. The others… well I wont go there now… I even had a few of them WRITE TO ME and Say… Jen, You had already told me you felt this way about me… so she didn’t expose anything. And that’s a FACT… The fact is… this woman claims to know about recovery and she had NO concern at all about mine. She CHOSE to publicly attack me… instead of being REAL with me and coming face to face. That… is not the type of people I like to be around. That is the reason that I’m one happy girl to see her user name as non-existent… Oh you know she is still lurking around… she wants that last word… I’m sure she will read this… and I don’t care. I hope she does… Its not that you spoke your mind and I just don’t dig that… oh no… it’s that you stabbed that knife into my back and twisted the mother fucker the best you could. You failed to realize that I don’t break that easy… and it backfired on you in more than one way… People are disappointing. People just suck! All the drama… maybe cause we are all writers and we got to add in that LAST paragraph for a kicker… go out with a bang… evoke emotions is some folk… The fact is… if you sit back and watch long enough… most people with self-destruct. Yep! I see this at work, at home… online… every where… I’ve done it, but I’m one of the lucky one’s that heard that BIG POP and did something about it! The good thing about work… I can leave it when I walk out the door… the good thing about online… I can hit the X button and you’re out of my view. Only person I got to take with me … is ME… and I’m alright with that today. |
| It’s the beginning of month 11 of 2007… and it’s also like a birthday to me. I woke up this morning and I had a moment. I remembered last year when I woke up the first day of month 11. Well, I didn’t have to wake up cause there was no sleeping on Halloween night, last year . This year I slept like a baby… woke up singing to the one I love. It’s a different world for me and for that I am SO grateful.  . It’s my 1st birthday in recovery. I’ll write more about this later. One thing I have learned through life… is that people come and people go. Life goes on… just like Sarah hasn’t showed up for work in the last two days. Carla just showed up… busted out crying when she walked in the door, refused to go back to her office and face Big B and Big D. Now she’s talking to boss…She said she just can’t stand this place any longer. Last year she thought this job was God Sent… today… it’s the DEVIL… People are just so unstable … and I’m one of them… but Thank God I’m nothing like I use to be… Out with the old, in with the new… One of the best strategies is to watch for change and put oneself into the mindset to adopt the changes and make them ours. Think, "How can I make use of this change for the better." Of course, it is your right to resist change, and sometimes there are valid reasons to do so. But since most changes are not intrinsically either good of bad, most of the time it's best to harness the change and ride it to success. These are choices for you to make. Check Out my horoscope for today: Some new neighbors could be moving into your neighborhood, Jennifer. The people could be involved with writing, teaching, publishing, or another profession in the field of communications. You may want to go over and introduce yourself, because these could be people whose company you'd genuinely enjoy. Do the old-fashioned thing of taking some freshly baked bread as a welcome gift. Don't worry about what to say to them. The conversation will take care of itself. Be friendly! I'm gonna keep on eye on the neighbors at all times!  http://www.oaoa.com/news/food_9628___article.html/bank_west.html This pic was taken in my front office.  see my checks on the wall..Yep, I put those there and my plant.. yep came from my house... yep! it was my media release that worked and got the dudes out here... I'm just all that and a bag of chips with a cookie on the side !  |
| When I was a kid, my mother would laugh and say to my father… “J. is the sneaky one. Jennifer will tell anyone and their dog what she’s got going in her mind.” That statement really stuck with me cause she said and their DOG…. I remember thinking why does that matter anyway? Dogs can’t tell it. Well I was just a kid and didn’t understand what her underlying statement was… well now I do. And some things never change. So you know I’m horny! Hey it happens! John is in my view and I laid it on thick today… yes I did. It’s funny that all my comments in the previous blog are from men. The woman backed up on outta here! Well… it’s not socially acceptable for a woman to talk like such…I can understand that. But just remember the source at all times… I’m not really trying to be socially accepted. Sure, I want people to like me… but not enough to pretend to be something different than what I am. I’m teachable though! That counts for something! Right? My hormones are going crazy! That’s just all there is to it. I showed up at work this morning just feeling all sweet and touchy feely… wanting to slap the good stuff on some unsuspecting passerby. John is the only coworker that is close to my age… he is like 46… and the only one that’s single. And plus he messes with me! So that’s the MAIN reason he has my attention. Hey! It’s the squeaky wheel that gets oiled the most. Sure I get hit on by the volunteers a lot but I don’t talk dirty to them like I do John cause well maybe it’s cause he is familiar and I know that he’d be all for it … if I was… but he’s not going to pin me in a corner and start smooching on me! No… Randy was aggressive like that… but John’s not. So I can just get my little thrill and come home, alone. In fact! It left me in shock to read the things he wrote in the IM earlier today. John’s has never got that far with our playful flirting. I have NEVER gone that far with our playful flirting. We really got too carried away with our joking around. This could be hazardous if allowed to be. I’m not attracted to John. He might be fun for roll in the hay… I don’t doubt that… but I can’t be alone with him and I’ll tell you why… he can make one phone call and someone like my OLD big daddy will be there in .02 seconds with anything in demand. In fact… I caught myself considering such a thing earlier and I had to get down on my knees and ask God to clear my mind of wrong motives and to keep me sober TODAY. Last year on this day… Halloween day… I found out Randy was seeing two other women when I wasn’t looking. I was dressed up for Halloween as a biker chic, had my blonde wig that goes down to my butt … holy jeans, bandana’s… had tattoos on my neck, shoulders and back. It didn’t look like I was wearing a costume, just looked like I was a biker bitch. I came home and sulked over a 12 pack of beer… upset, hurt over Randy’s deception. Then I decided I would go out to a bar but before doing so I needed to stop by and get another 12 pack because the stores wouldn’t be selling it when the bars closed and I had to be prepared. I walked into a 711 store and there stood Michael, who I later named ‘Big Daddy’. He gave me that look that showed his interest and I immediately started up a conversation with him. He said he had a pocket full of a good time and asked if I was interested. I told him to follow me home… Two days and about $500 later… I checked myself into rehabilitation. There’s a little story about a baseball bat and a dude from drug hotline center on the phone, but I’m not going there today. The first dry date I ever claimed was November 2, 2006. I was released from the hospital November 14, 2006. The memories of last year came to mind just right after I said my little prayer today. There is NO way I want to go back to that. That’s not living. Yeah, sure there’s going to be days like this. You know I just miss being touched sometimes. Not just sexually but just intimately. I have no intimate relations in my life. The ONLY man I even talk dirty and flirty with is John, maybe I think it’s safe because I’m not all into him… but I’m deceiving myself. It’s not safe. 1. We work together 2. He isn’t chasing recovery 3. I know of two women at my POE that he has already banged. Might take more than just AJAX to wash off what he could get on me! All actions begin with a thought and I claimed a dry date for abstinence, October 20, 2007. AND LOOK, 11 days later! I’m considering a relapse in that department! If I break that promise to myself… it at least needs to be with someone that I’m INTO. Right? Someone that means something to me… And that someone either needs to be IN recovery… OR have no NEED not desire but NEED for recovery. Really… I think everyone needs recovery from something, maybe not addiction to drugs or alcohol but we could ALL work the 12 Steps and become better people for doing it. There’s no one in my life right now that is special like that. And THIS is just fucking weird! I’ve always had SOMEBODY! Might not have been nothing to brag about but there has always been a man in my life… usually… several! So this is just another road untraveled by me… so I can expect these hormones, emotions, desires to flare up at times. It’s normal and OK to THINK about something… but when we ACT on it… that’s when the consequences will make themselves known. I am WOMAN I was created to want, love and desire a MAN. This is all a part of His plan… but it’s also in His timing… I know that I know that I KNOW that RIGHT NOW I’m suppose to be single and RIGHT NOW it's all about getting MYSELF right… because until I do… I’m never going to be happy with myself or those that I attract. Like attracts Like… Sickie’s are attracted to sickie’s… Healthy people are attracted to healthy people. The fact is… it’s time I start keeping the promises I make to myself. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0brHGJ6xqbk |
| Check out my new blog buddy Joshiahis and the sort of nice stuff he had to say about me! I'm blecckkk today! But the cool thing is... ain't nobody here at the office! Just me, the bookkeeper, Ms Mary and the warehouse. I been flirting with John all morning... I'm in a mood... I told him to met me after work... bring the tricks, I'll bring the treats.  UPDATE: Oh it's getting hot and heavy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xT9ZhmZylcU You have accepted the invitation to play Pool. John sorry my bad Jennifer: Jennifer: dern John hey i like the way you blow that Jennifer: Jennifer: you ain't seen nothing yet John come show me then Jennifer: dont tempt me John meet me in the back after the game show me what your working with Jennifer: You would have to go home for a nap Jennifer: good shot Jennifer: I would wear you out! John thats all good them we will go to your place for lunch today Jennifer: Jennifer: You would want to stay forever Jennifer: one bite of heaven would not be en ough for you John (laughing) John if it,s heaven then i want all of that John Ohhhhhh snap! Jennifer: yeah... you would want it all ... Jennifer: Jennifer: and would never let it go John Ohhhhhh snap! Jennifer: dern Jennifer: you got me all flustered over here Jennifer: hey that's distraction! John that wasen,t what i was looking for i want you all wet Jennifer: who said I wasnt Jennifer: John come back hear and let me feel then Jennifer: am I going to get to feel something too? John ok Jennifer: damn that was a good shot for me except I scratched! Jennifer: too slow for me Jennifer: I like to hit it fast and furious Jennifer: you know... the balls John : your welcome Jennifer: Jennifer: which one am I? I fogot! Jennifer: solids? John no Jennifer: stripes? Jennifer: k Jennifer: yea! That's the way I like it! Jennifer: that was goo Jennifer: good Jennifer: damn... you running with it now John game over Jennifer: you got to knock in the 8 Jennifer: hey did we bet on anything ?? Jennifer: good shot! Jennifer: you spanked my ass! John yes come pay up? BUZZ!!! Jennifer: I can't play no more Jennifer: I got to go clean up Jennifer: I need a towel Jennifer: hahahaha Jennifer: gawd you are talking nasty Jennifer: John: you better earase this conversation Jennifer: yes I am ** He just came up here with a TOWEL ! ROFL And rubbed his uh... hardness on my back... This is getting way to deep... I need to back off! BUZZ!!! BUZZ!!! Jennifer: what you doin? John what,s up Jennifer: I'll be back there after lunch Jennifer: I got to calm down first John ok Jennifer: John why Jennifer: Jennifer: cause John: come now and let me feel how wet you are Jennifer: Jennifer: nooo.... Jennifer: I been out of pocket for a while you see John chicken so what does that have to do with it Jennifer: it wouldn't take much to turn me loose Jennifer: John Haha... you're funny! Jennifer: I'm going to lunch, don't let no one close to your puter till I get back John: take it with you Jennifer: He thinks I meant peter instead of PUTER ROFL I'm out of HERE! |
| There's alot of weird shit going on around here. |
| I just deleted a big work rant and started anew. What’s the point in ranting about the turkeys I think I work with? What will it solve? My shoulders are tense. My head is throbbing and I didn’t feel quite this bad before I started that entry. It was a Carla rant. She quit, but she didn’t tell anyone that she quit. No she had Trey tell us all she was sick. Still … I’m the only one that knows she has quit only because Trey told me. Every one else thinks she is sick. She went out exactly the way I thought she would. She has many people awaiting her return for work with deadlines… and her desk is clean of all her personal items. How long till anyone figures it out? We will see. I just think that is so chicken shit. That’s all I got to say about that! Say out loud with me the Name: JESUS! Say it LOUDER…. JESUS!!! Do you feel that? Feel that power and relief all at the same time? I do… There is so much power in His Name. That is EXACTLY why it's so important to me to never use His Name unless I am talking to Him or About Him. I had to take another scorching shower when I got home today. It wasn’t such a bad day. I’m hormonal as hell is! I haven’t bled since my surgery. I was bouncing off the walls this morning. Now I’m grinding my teeth… considering a second scorching shower for additional relief. Rudy isn’t coming back. He has been a volunteer with us for five years and he left mad. I don’t know much about that situation. I know he told Bosslady everything he knew before he left. I don’t think much of it was what she would have liked to hear. I overhead Product walking out the back door It meeting day again… Meetings about meetings… all branches again traveled to our facility to join us for a few hours of hell. It wasn’t so bad… but I found myself looking around the room and seeing a bunch of turkeys. I’m not pleased with my pay. I’m not pleased with the people… I’ve worn myself out trying to see the good in everyone. I just wanna PUKE about it… Here GOES: E = She is a good worker… but moody as hell. C = Everything that comes out of his mouth is grumpy, negative and pessimistic. S = Scatter brained and self deceived, two faced J = A thief and low life T = I have nothing bad to say about + my favorite truck driver R = Arrogant old man that don’t like me. I really have nothing against him except that he doesn’t like me. He don’t like me cause I yelled at him one day. Ever since then he hasn’t spoke a single word to me and it’s been over six months. One of them old Mexican men that think women should remain quiet and be a good little beer can target. T = A liar M = insecure about her position… thinks everyone wants her job, slow and just grumpy B = I really have nothing against her now either. She knows my limits and doesn’t cross them anymore. D = Grumpy as hell but she also knows my limits and respects me. H = I have much respect and admiration for but she is flaky and forgetful M = a fine Christian woman C = If you leave her alone, she leaves you alone. She is an acquired taste that’s for sure. S = a good worker… talks too much, bosses people around in the warehouse but that doesn’t effect me. ON a professional level, she is a great asset to the company, if she would stop trying to be the boss… UNTIL she becomes one. She has the potential IF ONLY she would RECOVER. (You know whom I’m talking about) F = She is OFF… a NUTT J = She’s the LIGHT of the food bank but she spend too much time surfing the net when she should be working. OK… I feel better now! At least I entertained myself… Two of our hands from Alpine came in about lunchtime and everyone was gone. They were driving an 18-wheeler and thus ‘stuck like chuck’ without lunch… so instead of the usual Tuesday AA meeting, I took them to lunch. I have bible on CD’s in my car and dude in the backseat noticed them and asked, “Are you a Christian?” Uh… yeah… he was somewhat antagonizing me in the beginning. He asked, “What’s your denomination?” Well… I don’t have one. I told him… “I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.” That’s my denomination… and both of them laughed at me. What’s so funny? This was on the way to the restaurant and I changed the subject. So while we were eating, the same guy asked… “So what do you do when you’re not working? At church singing in the choir?” Hmm… Again… I felt little red-hot pokeys all over my skin… it was like he was making fun of my Christianity. But I was cool… I answered his question… “No. I’m looking for a home church but at the time I don’t have one. I spend much of my free time involved in an AA group.” His entire attitude changed then… Turns out he goes to AA in Alpine and Seattle, which is where he is from. That was the last of my Christianity interrogation…  . I have not been in a situation like that before. I was being belittled for my faith… outright… to my face. It’s not so much what he said, it’s how he said it. Then… this same guy later wanted to get out and see the town and asked me “So what’s the percentage of you letting me borrow your car?” ZERO! Are you out your mind? That was my exact words… just burped out before I had a chance to filter it. I’m thinking this dude was throw’d off! The phones rang off the hook all day! It was a wild one… my feet even ache! I wore my shitty ass leopard skin sandals from the dollar store… they ain’t made for comfort. My heart’s not in my writing tonight. I’m having to struggle with this entry. I think I’m just going to call it done. I don't hear any angels tonight... not yet. |
My high school boyfriend , the one BEFORE I met my ex husband... looked alot like this guy in the video!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYUTiopBDuI Gawd! I just got put on the spot! A man about 7 Foot tall was all hitting on me... i had a call and he stood there and stood there waiting for me to get off the phone and then when I did he asked if I had a boyfriend and I said no. He asked if he could have my phone number and I said no... I'm claiming a dry date for abstinence. he looked at me like I had lost my mind! That did sound stupid! Carla quit. I TOLD YOU she couldn't HANG! Rudy said he ain't coming back... he quit. It's been a WILD ride today! |
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