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it really is like a black cocktail dress... with curly metal springs |
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*sigh* you really would think i'd have better things to do... and as far as the 'genres' this blog goes under... they allll seem relevant because at one time or another i will write about business, animal and adult topics... nature of the blog... I'm always drawn to people's bios, whether they be true or not, so whether this be true or not, here's a little about me..."Invalid Item"  ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Dear Blog, It's been awhile. How have you been? I know... I know... I've neglected you... well, I've been busy... you know busy me... busy busy busy... *cough* been so busy forgot what I was busy about... and what I was doing. Love the picture BTW... you are mighty beautiful for an inanimate object that requires my attention to 'live'... actually NOW that's an interesting question. If blog isn't written in does it cease to exist? Or are my musings trapped in my brain ... a blog of sorts. The whispering of our collective conscience... OMG.... now that's a scary thought all those ramblings of alllll those crazy people rambling in my head.... like ISIS... that Islamic State ... now... that's curious ... Isis was actually an Egyptian goddess of something... brb... ok googled it ... she's goddess of Magic and Life... good stuff... except leave it to some men to change it up... now it's some radical, blood in your face, rampant, violent idiots with nothing better to do than... welll be weirdly radical ok ... that was a weird break... sorry blog... I meant to be cool, calm and collected when I re-introduced myself to you. You know that person EVERYONE wants to get to know... the one that doesn't talk about military groups, fascists... but bunny, butterflies, pink things and fluffy yellow ducklings. So blog... in the end, I'm sort of glad to be back expect this has been a very painful entry... it's like too much time has passed or I lack the time to write here and I am concerned that in the end ... it will alllllll ..... cough, cough... ok - now I remember what is the actual reason I don't like to write anything down... is it is sooooo depressing  |
I've always wondered where the line between good writing to excellent writing is blurred. At what point does someone slap a post-it to a writer's head and say "YOU GOT IT!!!" I've decided I know... does that knowlege make me a great writer? - hardly, but it does make me someone who can 'talk' about being an excellent writer - a bit like playing a Doctor on T.V. It's only untrue if someone calls you on it or turns off the T.V. - which as a TV Doctor or fake excellent writer NEVER wants - as having an audience is key. Or at least an audience of enough star-struck zombies that you're convinced they are right in their slobbering adoring worship of your humble attempt at egomania(writer's are always humble in an egomanical way). [Drum-roll] So what's the secret? That red sealed slot for a key, where the wisdom is sparse but the marketing far more grandiose? it's the details - those microscopic details - which if anyone who has read Madame Bovary knows is boring as hell but makes excellent literature. It makes you question what in the world is a 'golden lipid pool of blatant lies?' Metaphors that make you soak your tears in the red river of deception... The fiction which wrap around a slumber of make-believe so brain numbingly intrinsic that you are transported to another world. Do I sound resentful? Well yes, I am. and why am I resentful? because I hate details - i'd rather eat leftovers that someone else has cooked that work over the details, such as chopping up the parsley, the carrots, the bell peppers in a perfect sequence of color and taste consciousness which creates enlightening and depressing life changing reading. My leftovers are much easier to digest and are much easier to create or borrow than originality. They may make you fat, but maaaaannnn they do make the person who made them much happier with the additional TV time in which to enjoy. SOooooo 'my kingdom for leftovers' is my new mantra - |
| so you want to be a writer? by Charles Bukowski if it doesn't come bursting out of you in spite of everything, don't do it. unless it comes unasked out of your heart and your mind and your mouth and your gut, don't do it. if you have to sit for hours staring at your computer screen or hunched over your typewriter searching for words, don't do it. if you're doing it for money or fame, don't do it. if you're doing it because you want women in your bed, don't do it. if you have to sit there and rewrite it again and again, don't do it. if it's hard work just thinking about doing it, don't do it. if you're trying to write like somebody else, forget about it. if you have to wait for it to roar out of you, then wait patiently. if it never does roar out of you, do something else. if you first have to read it to your wife or your girlfriend or your boyfriend or your parents or to anybody at all, you're not ready. don't be like so many writers, don't be like so many thousands of people who call themselves writers, don't be dull and boring and pretentious, don't be consumed with self- love. the libraries of the world have yawned themselves to sleep over your kind. don't add to that. don't do it. unless it comes out of your soul like a rocket, unless being still would drive you to madness or suicide or murder, don't do it. unless the sun inside you is burning your gut, don't do it. when it is truly time, and if you have been chosen, it will do it by itself and it will keep on doing it until you die or it dies in you. there is no other way. and there never was. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| I've been thinking about the things people waste their time doing... including watching what other's bought on YouTube... that's just weird... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTTkmD27evk the good news is there is equally as many view the viral video about what a waste of time it is to watch this stuff... but then I thought about all the 'weird' stuff people get into... and I have to say I really do question the 'mental' health of this planet when people actually believe that Queen Elizabeth is reptilian ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0kiqxuhSO6A or that anyone is for that fact... I mean I understand why someone might WANT to believe politician's are reptilian, Hillary Clinton and Cheney are both thought to be so... which I suppose is nice when the conspiracy theories are bipartisan... My take on it - it's humans with their reptilian brains that are the problem - not some outerspace alien race which wishes to dominate us... takes away our ownership of our own problems. But this isn't just conspiracy theories - this is 'wacked' theories... absolutely wacked... I mean for gods sake we know for a fact that reptilians like to eat flies and stuff with long sticky tongues... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOEziy-h_m O.K. well,technically a frog isn't a reptile , but it's still damn funny... reminds me of Obama and his health care scheme being flown away with the flies with him attached. so I suppose there are similiarities between politicians and different life forms,,, peace out |
| WASP - White Anglo Saxon Protestant or in this case "Planet" Now this is food for thought... a plethora of symbolic meanings as this planet looks for death...now this is wayyyy tooo intriguing ... and I'll let those who know more write about it. Suicidal planet seems on death spiral into star Writer Seth Borenstein, Ap Science Writer – Wed Aug 26, 1:00 pm ET WASHINGTON – Astronomers have found what appears to be a gigantic suicidal planet. The odd, fiery planet is so close to its star and so large that it is triggering tremendous plasma tides on the star. Those powerful tides are in turn warping the planet's zippy less-than-a-day orbit around its star. The result: an ever-closer tango of death, with the planet eventually spiraling into the star. It's a slow death. The planet WASP-18b has maybe a million years to live, said planet discoverer Coel Hellier, a professor of astrophysics at the Keele University in England. Hellier's report on the suicidal planet is in Thursday's issue of the journal Nature. "It's causing its own destruction by creating these tides," Hellier said. The star is called WASP-18 and the planet is WASP-18b because of the Wide Angle Search for Planets team that found them. The planet circles a star that is in the constellation Phoenix and is about 325 light-years away from Earth, which means it is in our galactic neighborhood. A light-year is about 5.8 trillion miles. The planet is 1.9 million miles from its star, 1/50th of the distance between Earth and the sun, our star. And because of that the temperature is about 3,800 degrees. Its size — 10 times bigger than Jupiter — and its proximity to its star make it likely to die, Hellier said. Think of how the distant moon pulls Earth's oceans to form twice-daily tides. The effect the odd planet has on its star is thousands of times stronger, Hellier said. The star's tidal bulge of plasma may extend hundreds of miles, he said. Like most planets outside our solar system, this planet was not seen directly by a telescope. Astronomers found it by seeing dips in light from the star every time the planet came between the star and Earth. So far astronomers have found more than 370 planets outside the solar system. This one is "yet another weird one in the exoplanet menagerie," said planet specialist Alan Boss of the Carnegie Institution of Washington. It's so unusual to find a suicidal planet that University of Maryland astronomer Douglas Hamilton questioned whether there was another explanation. While it is likely that this is a suicidal planet, Hamilton said it is also possible that some basic physics calculations that all astronomers rely on could be dead wrong. The answer will become apparent in less than a decade if the planet seems to be further in a death spiral, he said. ___ On the Net Nature: http://www.nature.com/nature WASP group: http://www.superwasp.org/ |
| I've been debating a new book... an attempt to use sardonic humor with a look at our obsession with NOT dying. Even those who want to die are told they can't in many different words... SO humor is used to disspell the mystery/horror of death... you poke fun at it and it no longer seems so bad... yet? Can you really poke fun at death without becoming tasteless and at worst, boring? mmmm... don't know... not even sure I should try... but man my muse is dead |
| Trust me I'm NOT saying that 9/11 was an inside job, but I am saying there needs to be further investigation into what happened on that day. The government keeps denying that there were explosives used. The evidence at the site and analyzed by Ph.D., Engineers and Scientists are pointing to something different. It's time to have an outside investigation team to really do a job by the people, for the people of this nation. At the very least, if there are more than 700 experts saying this to be case, supported by fire fighters who where there, that explosives were used, this is something that should be investigated thoroughly. Firefighters are also educated on the way 'fire' works and Engineers/Architects on the way buildings withstand trauma, i.e. fire/earthquake, there is 'probable cause' there is more evidence that needs to be tested/analyzed and hard questions asked. We need answers if not for the peace of mind of our nation, but also for the national security of our nation. There is too much at stake to our basic freedoms as a nation. Look for yourself, you be the judge - http://www.ae911truth.org/ http://firefightersfor911truth.org/ Here is the contrary fact/myth article... www.popularmechanics.com when I scrutinized it, it still left me with a sinking feeling that the official story is wrong. The myths that are being debunked can't be weighed against this video: http://www.ae911truth.org/flashmov11.htm |
| educate yourself before you believe this hype... afterall Obama hasn't raised taxes has he? There probably will be a time when we need to pay the reaper so to speak...but he hasn't done that yet, so why all the fuss? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Astroturfing Astroturfing is used to create an image of a grassroots movement but backed by a particular political party... nuff said...you decide the 'truth' |
| According to the political pundits, Obama is FDR, Kennedy, Lincoln and (now) Washington (as the first black president) all mashed together - an inbreeding of ideology from what came before. I thought this was interesting and wondered did they do the comparision/combo meal with Presidents before? Or how about anyone at all? If I was going to be a mismash of humanity I think I'd go with Einstein, James Dean, Colbert, Bettie Boop, Jung, Marilyn, Buddha and Rachel Ray. That way I have most things covered, looks, humor, coolness, intelligence, spirituality and food. And you may ask... why Bettie Boop? Well as far as being able to make a composite of all of these people it'd need to be done in animation... |
| makes me believe in a god... or at least a socialist god... of course the fact that they have less doesn't really mean there's been a redistribution of wealth. The investments were empty and therefore the money that was lost just goes 'poof' One day you're sitting on a pile of gold and then 'poof' the fairy godmother of resulting bad decisions waves a wand and you're sitting on a sore butt with the stamp of divine retribution I want to believe I want to believe - maybe if I say it enough I'll actually believe that this will dictate the end of greed and fraud in the US - shrugs... what I really need is a magic wand, not one of those boring pointing sticks, but mine would have a large glowing star on the top and it would flash fireworks and sparks and then would talk ... how cool is that? A conversation with my magic stick would go as follows: Me: "What should we do today?" Magic Stick: "Let us smote and render useless the power mongers and greedy profiteers of this land" Me: "That's a bit judgmental isn't it?" Magic Stick: "What??? You would question the great and powerful stick???!!!!" Me: "I think we need to build a fire just for you" Not comfortable with omnipotent decisions, especially if they're not my own. |
| I just saw a Stenson ad for it's fragrance and the model made me think it was marketing to the homosexual market... I thought, 'what a strange thing to think'... but then I thought 'why not? I bet there are articles about this very subject and yes there is... of course there is... what else but in a America can you make a business off of a person's sexual preference... and then I thought "I wonder if there is some sort of unhealthy stereotyping going on?" I thought of course there is... isn't there always? and then I thought "Why am I thinking so much about this?" I need some peace... and then I thought 'why am I so angry at you?' Angry within my mind... angry about the Jonas Brothers giving away coats and so many people who give their coats away every year to the homeless, but unless you are famous it's not worthy of mention... apparently food banks are suffering this year... I think Yahoo should have an article about all the famous people who DO NOT give to food banks... peace is what I want... really... i need to sit and observe my anger... and then I thought this website is full of angry people... maybe that's why I come here? I want to be angry too... or not... or just honest... or not... people are sheep... they follow the crowds... honesty doesn''t have crowds unless it's brutal because that creates drama... people like drama... I don't... drama is tiring... it makes your heart race and your mind collapse into the abyss of useless twirling... what a waste... peace...peace...peace... peace out. |
| this isn't a journal entry about being 'fake' and positive... it's a journal entry about being around that which make you feel positive. I see allot of anger/resentment and general malaise on this site, and I have to honestly think that it's just a venting place, but then I also thought, if you put yourself into situations where you know you're going to be exposed to negativity, you will reflect that back. Really, I know... been there... done that... If you find yourself wallowing in self-pity, negative reinforcement (misery loves company) the best solution is to get out. Simply stay away from those things, those people who make you feel bad. I have many people in my life that just have a simple joy for life, they aren't sucked into the superficial coolness of being hip with anger. Anger is power for a moment in time - yet it doesn't sustain. The most powerful sustenance is creativity. The result of creativity inspires or at least makes another think, but it's always above the crowd, above the noise. Many of you know the famous Picasso painting of Guenrica, which is about war (specifically the spanish civil war). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guernica_(painting) No one would say this painting is 'positive' yet it's awe-inspiring. I'm not saying you should stay away from honest art or true forms of thinking, because when we enlighten ourselves we become more whole in a sense. The role of 'hip anger' is not inspiring, it's destructive, it's negative at it's core. Creativity is not negative at it's core. It may be about negative issues, but it's not a negative energy. Something that's well written and speaks intelligently, creatively about any subject absolute overflows with abundance in its results. This is beautiful, it is mindful, it is intelligent, and it's never petty. |
| Kid's parties are full of what is mentioned in this entry title, especially if they are around 5 years old. My middle one, had a birthday today at the gym where she does her gymnastics. We went to the gym to run around in circles and jump. There was drama as there always is with young girls waiting their turn and making sure their friends were close by. There was love amongst the masses of flying legs and giggles. I had to run around with them because my littlest couldn't be on the floor without me spotting her. This is a serious gym with balance beams and parallel bars and dangerous because it. I sweated, I watched and I wondered at the sheer wondernous of it all -well not really - kid's parties are fun but they aren't particularly deep. Yet, my sister and I decorated the most wonderful table. She didn't boss me around much, but was her usual, I can help this much and be somewhat annoyed by it because I am a bit of a control freak, a minimalist when it comes to work, especially when it comes to family who might ask. And I'm sounding more bitchy than I mean, but this has been my observation after many years of being around her. The table was wonderful 'a la Martha Stewart' We, for once, were the 'better people.' You can't work on being a 'better person' unless you're the church lady. But like most 'better people' if you are inclined in that way, your yardstick is yourself, so you assume if someone doesn't act or am the way that you are, they are not as 'good' as you. This can be at all levels as it really comes from intolerance. It can come from closing yourself off because you feel the better people are trying to get the better of you. The fact that you think your opinions are better than others, because you're more honest, more worthwhile, more whatever. If you hate it creates a feeling of power, a feeling of recklessness to the status quo, yet in the end? If you're honest with yourself and others, that 'anger' that hatred, is only based on fear. Your desire for the status quo, makes you strive to be a 'better person' by those you seek approval, or alternatively, a bad person, by those you seek approval. The mere label of being better or worse, means you've subjected yourself to the opinions of those you believe worthy of such things, thereby making them 'better' than you in the end. In a sense, you''ve Martha Stewart'ed yourself into a corner or propriety of the out cast or the clique... which takes allot of energy... peace out all better and worse people - you need it. |
I swear I had tears in my eyes last night... kind of embarassed... but for the first time in my life I felt truly proud to be an American... truly 100% proud... We have come so far in such a short time and not just on the race issue... honestly the right person won this election, the right person because he was well-spoken, smart, energized, understood the issues, engaged and believes in a brighter future. He is a leader. Thank god. Now I can turn on the TV and watch our president without flinching from the idiocy. No one can ever say to anyone that they can't be president... that said there are many people who should never be president because they couldn't do the job. I freely admit I could not... more people should... Palin, Bush... shrugs... |
| The Colbert Report... Stephen Colbert is like the funniest dude since... I don't know... he's like funnier than Dave Letterman and Jon Stewart and and and Bill O'reilly ... yes, it's true I really do find Papa Bear O'Reilly funny... of course if I was the one in the no spin zone... I'd probably feel different... but I've taken the attitude that he's funny...because you honestly have to laugh at someone who shouts at everyone so no one can speak, because if they should speak they might actually get the better of him... anyway, here's a classic Colbert meets Papa Bear O'Reilly - made my heart weep... my joy stick hum and my innards warm with devotion... http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/81003/january-18-2007/bil... Colbert is a GODDDDDDD!!!! (and don't mention that to my husband as these late night tristes with steaming (or streaming) depending on your take on it have become quite the habit) |
| I just had a rather strange experience on this New Age site ... Dr. Michael Sharp They really aren't interested in discussion or learning new information... it's a friggin cult... watch out for this guy... he takes credit for other's work and charges money for new age 'fast-trak' enlightenment... He throws the fact that he's professor in your face, yet he isn't willing to share or elaborate on ideas... he wants to have the corner-stone on something called 'spirit-wikipedia' http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=Michael+sharp&aq=f&oq= he's a fraud... don't trust him |
| I used to think that pox marks referred to marks caused by small pox... not so - Syphillis which was a rampant vernal disease in days of old... so pox on you - meant I hope you get Syphillis... I don't really... I mean it's nothing personal to anyone here or there or anywhere for that fact... it's the darkest reaches of my mind that turning on pissed off, warped up, churning around negativity - it's a bleak place. My mind is tired today. Too much political stress. I was discussing the reason why I don't think it's a good idea to put out campaign signs, especially during this very 'tense' election. It comes down to the fact that you can elect a guy this year in Washington DC, be disenchanted next year and he'll be out of office in three. You can put a sign out supporting said candidate in your yard this year, cause disenchantment and underlying hostility from neighbors into next year, and have to live next to them for the next 30 years. Politics are like those stain marks on your underwear, better kept to yourself. Shrugs... So in order to move on to better and brighter things such as VD (another thing which should be kept to yourself) I am turning my journal over to little vignettes of creativity in order to inspire myself for my creative writing course, which I'm quite excited about... Julie flicked a piece of white straw paper from the table and watched it fall. Jeremy, her reptillian friend hadn't shown up, so now she was stuck at the table with a pile of hopping insects in a jar. They were for him, being his favorie crickets. She watched them jump up and then down, certain of their eventual demise in the oxygen deprived environment. She loved the way he chomped down on the heads first and then with a slithering sound sucked the center out. The carcass gutless and liveless never ceased to amaze her, a world of life and death played out right in front of her. But today, she wouldn't have her entertaiinment. She'd just simply have to make do with watching the visual globe in front of her playing out different scenarios of human depravity. The table came with the sattelite connection and for a few more dollars to sit at this table, she was able to choose different levels of entertainment. If you wanted to watch a murder it was a bit more and to see humans copulating.. well the prices went up to the degree of what was deemed more entertaining. The most expensive viewing was to see into the different government branches of earth, something called CSPAN was more than a week's salary. To see the reality compared to the ideals splayed out in speeches of grandeur always made the Alturian's laugh... Okay so it turned political *shrugs* the whole letting go part ain't so clean for me. |
| I was sitting next to a woman who was talking to a man in suit, and it turned politics. My first impression as the man was wearing a suit and the woman was in jean/flower wear, was that more likely than not, liberals. LOL... the mind plays tricks, misconceptions all around... In a very loud voice the woman started talking about Palin and McCain mostly Pailin, saying they were going after the poor woman... and the guy started talking about fiscal responsibility and the Republican party... OMG!!!! Does anyone not get the irony of this???? The Reagan era started the ball rolling with the deregulation of the banking industry, which caused 'predatory' lending which caused the mortgage industry melt-down. Where is the fiscal responsibility? Clinton (a democrat by all accounts) left his office with a surplus. A SURPLUS!!!! ayeyah... do the people not see the irony in this? Fact: The republicans are always talking about letting the 'market take care of things." Of course, when it affects all their banking buddies, it's let's do the bail out... yeah okay... who are you gonna trust... really people wake up. No we're all waving flags about abortion and moral issues, like Obama is an 'elitest???' just because he doesn't bag deer for a living means he's an 'elitest??' He went to the best schools in this nation because he earned it ...not on his Father's connection like Bush... I want smart people in office... real smart people... not one's with no agenda except political manipulation and power mongering. McCain indicates he believes a cold war is needed with Russia and PR China??? yeah that's healthy...let's return to our past... real forward thinking there... nuclear arsenals all around... The fact is that Palin is obviously been trying to see who is on her side after she takes office, she did this before... she's just damn scary. Doesn't anyone see he truth? Nepotism/Cronieism is not a good thing. Look at the facts people and just in case you need help: http://www.adn.com/sarah-palin/story/515512.html Who is she? She has no history... she's young and inexperienced... an excellent hunter by all accounts... she did overhaul the Alaskan ethics which was a good thing AFTER several of her fellow republicans in her state were accused of corruption (but trying to have a librarian in your pocket and have her fired if she doesn't agree with you is ethical???) Hypocricy is piling high people... but what about fiscal responsibility... she's a pea brain just like the rest of friggin Republicans... why isn't the world sane??? She is like Bush, she'll set her friends in high places and do we all remember Bush's friends in high places? Including FEMA and the Katrina fall out - yeah that was full of good leadership... This is the old-boy protectionist network, and just because it wears a skirt and is pretty doesn''t make it good governing. No the republican party makes it out that it's the 'liberal media going after Palin???' has anyone listened to FOX lately? If it's not O'Reilly telling everyone to shut-up because we want to exercise our free speech - dissension apparenlty is unpatriotic and is NOT protected by the 1st amendment - this is the news of the day, we're all homogenous (gasp that doesn't mean 'homosexual.' Sanity is in the McNeil/Lehrer report on PBS- indepth reporting...with just the facts ma'am... And Mrs. Palin reminds me of the 'chruch lady' - damn it...why can't people see the truth... you know people don't want change because it makes them uncomfortable, yet they also fear the truth because it means they need to change. |
| Thoughts are subtle... prejudice even more so... combine the two and you've got a powerful thread of anger wafting through your head... I've been reading some of the entries for follow the reader, articles in papers and talking to people and was struck by the underlying prejudice people have... against different genders, against fat people... against old people... and even against young people... Some of things I've heard lately... 'I'd shoot myself if I got that fat... ' place any 'label' in that sentence (i.e. black) in lieu of fat and you'd be accused of being a bigot (and rightly so)...but fat people are fair game... 'I''m not a woman, really... because women are catty people.'..  lots of projection going on there folks...'People like to live with people who look like them,'... act like them, are like them... how boring is that? And it's also called 'white flight' or 'black flight' depending on what side of the fence you sit... Thoughts are subtle... prejudice thoughts are everywhere... people who think they're not prejudiced, need to look at their thoughts... they lurk, they perculate and if you don't call yourself on them, they justify your anger and seperatness. Peace out. |
| But I don't want to show my book... ironic that... It's crap (my own opinion and a couple of outside non-interested parties opinions also) - so do I move forward with giving it to this guy? Or do I just leave it alone... what's to lose you may add? hmmmm well humiliation... the book they talk about in the bathroom with their buddies as being soooo bad no one would want to sell it... sort of the whole "Dark and Stormy Night" syndrome or some sort... or more likely than not a blip on the screen as someone who tried too hard but so what? don't we all at one time or another? Scratch and grind our teeth to be heard even though we really know we shouldn't bother... lol... gawd this sounds much more depressing than it really is... honestly I've detached myself for the most part.. but I'm tired and confused... and want to sleep... so IF anyone has an inkling of what I should do... holler to me...give me some direction... show me the light...take me to the holy land... etc...etc. |
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