Complex Numbers

Gnaw Bone

How come it's never a girlcott?

PROMPT July 18th

Have you ever boycotted a company or product? If so, tell us the story. If not, what would a company have to do for you to boycott its products?

My big decision for the day was this: beer, wine, scotch, tequila, gin, rum, or other?

I went with wine.

A few years ago, on one of my cross-country expeditions, I passed through a tiny spot in Indiana called Gnaw Bone.

This made me laugh.

On another cross-country expedition, I found myself driving through Gnaw Bone again, and this time I decided to stop. There is a winery there. One of their products is called Chateau Gnaw Boné, which is a cranberry-apple-brandy Frankenwine. I picked up a bottle and took it home.

Tonight was the night to drink it.

The funny thing is, there's some debate over how Gnaw Bone got its name. My personal theory? As with many other place names in Indiana, such as Terre Haute, Lafayette, Versailles, etc., I think the town - village - wide spot in the road - whatever was originally a French place, in this case named Narbonne.

Because Americans can't pronounce French for shit.

Anyway. This shit is 23% ABV, and even with the help of my housemate, I'm definitely feeling the effects. So here's my attempt at actually addressing the prompt.

I have not participated in an official boycott.

Oh, I'd like to say I'm boycotting Chick-Fil-A or whatever because of their policies, but this means jack shit because I'd never eat there anyway.

Starbucks, to take another example, could disappear from the face of the planet and it would make zero difference to me, because I've been to one, like... twice?

Thing is, I'm not going to inconvenience myself over petty political differences. I just don't give enough of a shit. Your factory employs people making $1 a day or whatever? Well, then, let's all decide to stop buying from that place and make sure the people make $0 a day instead. That makes sense.

That was sarcasm.

Ask me again when I'm sober and I'll probably have a different answer. But right now, I couldn't care less if you paid me to.

So to answer the last part of the prompt, you pretty much have to be an unutterably fascist piece of shit for me to boycott your products. But chances are I pick up on that before it becomes public, so my refusal to buy shit from you makes zero difference. Like, I've never liked Donald Trump, regardless of politics, so I refused to go to his winery, which is near here. Now, as you know, me refusing alcohol is like, well, someone in the desert refusing a drink of water. But I couldn't boycott his wines after he became president because I never drank them in the first place.

For all I know, the owner of the winery in Gnaw Bone, Indiana has political views I disagree with. I don't care. I'm still using his or her products to get drunk on.

On that note, I'mma finish this bottle of wine. Because this prompt made me talk about politics, which I hate to do.