Complex Numbers

Useful

Today's discussion is about things that are easy to take for granted.

PROMPT May 21st

Not including your phone, computer, or other Googling device, write about the top five most useful items you own.

This is where I'd normally get into a philosophical discussion of the concept of "ownership," but I'll spare you this time. I'm in the middle of checking out a new superhero TV show, and I want to get back to it, so I'm going to keep this quick and simple. So without further ado, an off-the-top-of-my-head list of the five most useful things I own.

5. Refrigerator

Not only does this allow me to keep fresh food longer than would otherwise be possible, but its primary use is keeping beer and white wine chilled. Obviously, I don't chill reds. Except for Beaujolais Nouveau, but that comes out in November when I could just as easily keep it outside.

4. Toaster Oven

As a single person, I rarely have use for the big oven. The toaster oven sees some use almost every day, as does the microwave. Some things suck when they're microwaved, though, while the toaster oven gets it right every time except when I forget about it being on. But really, almost anything in the kitchen could be on this list, so, moving on...

3. Toilet

Indoor plumbing is one of the greatest inventions of humankind. I may be biased, being a civil engineer and all. Still, not having to venture out into the not-so-great outdoors just to take a shit, or deal with a disgusting chamber pot, is decadence incarnate. Also, as with the kitchen, everything in the bathroom could be on the list: sink, shower, closet, and my ever-dwindling supply of apparently irreplaceable toilet paper. I mean, come on, seriously -- it's been two months; why can I still not find Charmin anywhere? This is bullshit. Bullshit that I can't wipe up.

2. Bed

Chairs too, really -- without chairs, I wouldn't be able to use the items on the Forbidden List in the prompt quite as readily -- but it's much easier to sleep in a bed, and sleeping is really bloody important to me, especially after emptying the fridge of beverages. The bed is also adjustable, so I can read in it comfortably. The other traditional use for a bed is inapplicable to me, but even so, it's useful enough to make the second highest spot on the list.

1. House

The single most useful item on this list, because it contains all of the other items and then some. And yes, it's mine, not the bank's. It keeps me dry when it rains, cool when it's hot, warm when it's cold, and it offers a degree of security.

I suppose "car" could be on the list too, but I don't have a garage, so then I wouldn't have been able to say the house contains everything on the list. Besides, I could probably live, reluctantly, without a car (I have essentially been doing so for two months now), but being homeless would totally suck ass. Especially because there'd be no place to store the toilet paper.