Chris' Christian Blog

May 9, 2020

Prompt: "Choose an event in your life that someone else remembers differently. Describe both memories and debate the differences. Who do you think is right? Why do you think you remember it differently?"

I don't have a whole lot of people in my life to sit around and talk about events in the past with so this prompt is pretty tough for me. I do know of one event that my brother brings up every time we get together that he remembers differently than I do, but it was a misunderstanding on his part. We had been heading into town that night. We were all crammed into the cab of the truck because we lived on a farm where a truck was needed and we could not afford two vehicles. We had just sold a load of firewood to somebody and our parents were asking what we would like as a reward for our work. I wanted chocolate milk but I knew it was expensive. There were three of us boys and I knew not to push it and ask for one carton each, which would have been three quarts. That was when they still had quart bottles and cartons. So I asked for two quarts with the intention that they be divided equally between us. my brother immediately thought I wanted a quart for the two of them and a quart for myself. We nearly got into a fight over it. he still brings that up to this day to point out my greed and gluttony, but the fact is that I happened to be there and I know my intention. I simply knew that my parents were not going to the expense of buying three quarts but I thought perhaps I could convince them to evenly split two of them. I don't know how I thought they were going to manage that but then kids often think parents can do anything. And no, we did not get the chocolate milk.

Prompt: "Flash Fiction: Write a short story about a clock."

I have one of those annoying alarm clocks. I get up at 0450 every morning to do rounds with the nurses to do bed checks. They take the role and make sure everybody is still breathing I guess. Anyway, my smartphone is my alarm clock. It doesn't have a whole lot of alarm tones on it. I have listened to them and most of them are very weak and probably wouldn't phase me. The one I have is a group of women singing "Good morning, good morning. Bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah..." It is very annoying and I have often threatened to smash it against the wall. You know how it is. I'm a loving Christian man until you get me angry. Then I get really huge, ugly, and green. Well the alarm always manages to push the right buttons. I try to get to it before they make it to the "Bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah" part of their song because it just rakes my last nerve. It's a lot like having somebody drag their fingernails across a chalkboard. It just sends chills up my spine. Sometimes I get the alarm shut off before they go into their droning routine and sometimes the alarm beats me. It's always a race. This morning I lost. Here it is. It's 0450 and I have this group of women on my nightstand sounding like Pickett's charge. I'm trying to get the phone shut off. All I have to do is swipe the thing and it will go into snooze and I can get another five minutes of precious sleep. I must look like Wile E. Coyote just after he chases road runner across a mountain and the mountain caves in on him. Splat! Anyway, I'm swiping this silly phone and the women are still singing "Good morning, good morning, bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah! bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah!"

I am swiping and swiping and they are singing and singing. I'm trying to remain calm because I don't want to turn all green and get ugly. I mean green and white are my alma mater's colors, but I don't look good when I turn green like that. So I'm swiping and swiping at the phone and they are droning on and on with their nasty, stupid song. I'm ready to explode in rage. All I want is to dismiss the alarm. I have a second alarm set for 0500 and a third set for 0505 so I can catnap and try to collect my sense before waking completely up. It's a delicate balancing act and their singing is disturbing it. Ugh!

I swipe and swipe and they keep singing and singing. Then I realize that I am swiping left when all I need to do is swipe to the right and they'll stop for five minutes. Then we'll start the whole dance again. So I swipe to the right and hear "Good morning, good morning. Bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah."

The 0500 alarm is now going off as well! "Yes Mom. I'm awake already".

"Day 2731: May 9, 2020 Prompt: My favorite part of the weekend is _____, because ______."

My favorite part of the weekend is Sunday because it is Lord's Day and I get to lead a great bunch of guys in Bible study. As most everybody knows I am the chaplain of the West Virginia Veterans Home in Barboursville WV. That usually doesn't really entail doing a whole lot because there is no really defined job description for the chaplain here. It's a volunteer position in which I encourage the veterans to attend chapel and visit anybody who is hospitalized. Aside from that there is nothing to it.

Prior to the current COVID-19 pandemic there were a total of three ministers besides myself that held regular weekly Bible studies and chapel services here. I usually attended them all except for the Sunday morning service. On Sunday morning I went to the Salvation Army where I am a soldier. Before anybody misunderstands, the Salvation Army is not a branch of any military. It is not a branch of the US military. In fact the World Office of the Salvation Army is in London England. It was founded by General William Booth who thought it was a Christian's duty to win the soul by meeting the needs of the physical man.

Anyway I have been a soldier in the Salvation Army for close to three years. I became a soldier there shortly after becoming a chaplain of the West Virginia Veterans Home. Chaplains do not pastor the congregations of the chapels they serve. Basically it is the chaplain's duty to counsel and serve the residents, but chapel is not a church in and of itself. A chaplain always has a home church that they answer to and that church is their base of operations. Since I was a soldier of the Salvation Army it seemed logical that my home church would be the Salvation Army Huntington Corps where I am a soldier. Shortly after I became chaplain here at the Veterans Home I ask my commander at the Salvation Army what I could do to become more involved there. She suggested I become "bonded" as a local commissioned officer. I didn't really know what that entailed, but if she suggested it I trusted her judgment and told her I was willing to try it.

She said that essentially I was already doing it. As the chaplain of the WVVH who affiliated my chaplaincy with the corps I was already filling the position she had in mind. I was doing community care and she wanted me to become the Community Care Ministries Secretary. We would complete the paperwork and forward it to the Maryland/West Virginia Division (now the Potomac Division) commander to sign off on. The Division Commander signed off on the position along with appointing me as Men's Club Treasurer and Adult Sunday School Teacher.

Prior to COVID-19 I allowed delegated the Sunday morning service at the WVVH to another minister as I taught Sunday school at the Salvation Army. That worked out well. Then COVID-19 stopped anybody from being able to visit the WVVH and chapel services had no leader. As a resident of the WVVH I too was quarantined to the "hill" as we call it because the facility sits atop a small hill overlooking the town. I began filling in for the ministers who were coming in to teach Bible studies. I had been holding a devotion on Saturday evenings prior to that, but that was the extent of my duties. Since I have been filling in for the other ministers I have grown quite close to the group of men that meets regularly for Bible study. I especially look forward to Sunday morning worship with them or to going to the Huntington Corps and leading Sunday school. So either way Sunday is my favorite!