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Rated: 18+ · Book · Personal · #1196512
Not for the faint of art.
#970979 added December 5, 2019 at 12:03am
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Observability Bias
Today's link comes to us from the UK, so be prepared for British spelling. In contrast to yesterday, it's a short one and probably more relevant to our daily lives.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/oct/27/lonely-short-of-friends-loo...

Lonely? Short of friends? Try looking at it differently

You never see your friends at home alone in their pyjamas, eating pickled onion Monster Munch...

Okay, so I was prepared for "pyjamas," but what in the culinary hell is "pickled onion Monster Munch?" Jeez, England...

Psychologists are regularly berated for spending their workdays reaching blindingly obvious conclusions about the world... At first glance, it’s tempting to respond that way to a new study from the University of British Columbia, explaining why people tend to assume that their friends have more friends, and lead less solitary lives, than they do. Can you guess? That’s right: because every single time we see our friends, they’re socialising.

That's like every time my friends see me, I'm drinking, so they probably assume I'm an alcoholic. But I rarely drink when there aren't other people around. Don't get me wrong; I'm not averse to drinking alone - it's just that alcohol helps me socialize, but what it does not help me do is play video games, read, or follow TV shows. Perhaps if I actually wrote more, I'd drink more.

You’re never there when [your friends] wake in the dark at 3am, wondering where their lives are headed.

I'm not immune to existential crises, but this never happens to me. Is it common? Maybe it doesn't happen to me because I like to stay up until at least 3 am. Okay, that's a technicality. But in general, the only times I wake up when I ought to be sleeping are a) a cat has knocked something off of something else or b) I just had a nightmare, in which case I think, "Gah, another nightmare. Oh well. Just a dream" and go back to sleep.

So, yes, the fact that we only ever experience loneliness when it’s happening to us is blindingly obvious, I suppose. But blindingly obvious in an almost literal sense: it’s so self-evident, we barely ever see it.

I'm pretty solitary by nature, so I'm rarely lonely. I'm not even sure that I've ever experienced it in the way that others do, kind of like I'm never sure if my "yellow" is your "yellow." I like people, in general; I just can only deal with so much socializing before I have to retreat.

Anyway, so add "observability bias" to those things we have to watch out for.

Speaking of which, I'm about to travel again, so posts aren't guaranteed for the next week or so. I'm sure you'll all find a way to cope.

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Printed from https://writing.com/main/books/entry_id/970979-Observability-Bias