The Absence of Wavelength

To Medicate Or Not To... (ADHD)

With ADHD, I could never focus long enough to see a novel to conclusion. With medication, I cannot imagine the drive to that reward without the amazing (and quick) shitstorms in my head.

Short quips, blogging and poetry kept me going all the years I've spent here...reviewing was an outlet, too (much, much tougher with these sensibilities). With a chance to dose myself again, will I or can I see something more satisfying to conclusion?

If you're confused about ADHD, google symptoms related to creativity. You might understand someone you love better, may learn how to deal with them instead of treating them like a crazy drama queen...not that you would. *Thinking of my family that needs education...like I did/do*

Maybe, I can avoid these burnouts/restarts.

By the way, my family wants me on something (aware my options limited by glaucoma). I'm on about a half dozen meds at any moment. I would like to toss everything in the drain and just live my life. Modern medicine is improving my life but reaching a watershed. I want to be accepted as I am, Just as I desired when I was a burgeoning young writer. But, acceptance seems to come at a cost.

Realizing life boxes me in, I tend to become irrational and act out. I live in an altered dimension. My loved ones can only meet me at the fence, fed me a carrot at times. I CAN get over that barrier. I tried it once before and hated that dull existence. Can prescribers get it right twenty years later?

Thumb on the scale til they tell me take it off. When I'm forced to try...for family. For another shot at this writing thing. To embark on another chapter in this underwhelming life.

Vulnerable, belly exposed, I will bite -- though, much older now. What choice do I really have?