L'aura del Campo

2019年5月15日: Blow-me-away blog

"Share an instance when something blew your mind."

We ancients rarely have our mind blown. We've seen most everything... or so we think.

Part 1 of many.

When I was 21... a long long time ago... before dirt was invented... I sat at the beach and looked at the Southern Cross. I had never been to the ocean. The waves wanted me to join them. But I knew they wouldn't bear me all the way across the Pacific. I couldn't swim.

So I sat there in a pitch-black night watching the stars.

Many are soothed by the sounds and motions of water. Others answer its siren call. I just fell deeper into depression.

I wasn't coping well with being human. After-all, this was my first time being human... or alive for that matter.

I desperately wanted connection. I desperately wanted a friend. One week in Costa Rica and it already was such a disappointment. I was in the second stage of a nervous breakdown. It had been a mistake to sit there.

And it got worse.

Within two months, I had gone mute for two weeks, gotten drunk and embarrassed myself to tears, had an out-of-body experience, started smoking cigarettes, had a surprise birthday party and lost my closest friend.

March 30th, April 1st, April 4th, April 21st... were some of the dates I still remember.

By May 5th I had to go to the doctor after having heart issues on the train.

But already in February I had sat on the sand at Manuel Antonio watching my life ebb away.

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