The Book of Masks (Vol. 2)

Leaving as Lindsay

Previously: "The Choice for a Cho" 

You wake feeling like there's an anvil sitting on your face, and your limbs are very heavy. Just a few more minutes of sleep, you think. Then I'll get up and get moving. Vaguely you wonder what day it is.

It's the fucking middle of the week, you know that much. You've got to get through how many days till the weekend? Basically, how many days of Speech class with freaking Laura Serrano smirking at you and whispering to Matthew Adams about your posture? The bruise from the last Speech class, when Laura pitched a fit about you getting put onto her practice team, still hurts. What day was that? Wednesday?

You roll onto your side with a groan, then freeze when you're seized by what can only be called an "out of body" experience. Your limbs feel all wrong, and when you tentatively stretch an arm it feels like you should be able to touch the ceiling with your fingertips. You squint sideways at it. It's is very long and bony. And yet it is unmistakably yours ...

Oh God! You lurch up into a sitting position, and gouge at your eyes with the heels of your hand. Fuck!

You've got Lindsay Cho in your head, and she's more than a little freaked out at being in your body. At least you're still dressed. She would probably start screaming if you looked down and saw your hairy sausage between your hairy legs.

Steady on, dude, you tell yourself through gritted teeth. You just need to finish off the transformation and then things will be alright. The sooner I'm totally her, the easier it'll be to handle her. Remember what it was like with Dwayne.

Yeah. Like that was a lot of fun. With a sense of loathing you reach for Lindsay's mask and the sealant.

You're interrupted by a soft knock at the door, and you grimace back at Caleb as he slides inside. "Everything okay out there?" you ask.

He puts a finger to his lips. "Not really. Dane's mom is home for the night. She's, uh, gonna be wondering what it's all about when Lindsay comes out of her son's bedroom."

"Fuck." It's two of you cursing, for Lindsay is just as revolted by the implication as you. "I guess I could go out through a window."

"How much longer are you gonna be?"

"Just need to finish this thing. And now it's done." You lay the brush aside and glare at the mask. "Just need to put it on now."

"You wanna get out of your clothes first?"

"I guess. Jesus, I'm not looking forward to this."

"I told you you wouldn't."

"I told you first," you retort as you unbuckle your pants.

* * * * *

At least you're prepared for it the second time you wake, and it's not a shock when you sit up and feel yourself pulled down by a couple of baggy weights attached to your chest. Nor are you horrified out of your mind by the stubby legs and feet that you see when you look down at yourself. Still, half of you isn't happy about being stuck in Lindsay Cho's body; and the other half isn't real happy that there's an alien personality stuck inside your body with you.

It takes a moment for you to figure out which one of you feels like it's being invaded and violated.

Okay, look, we're just going to have to live with each other as if we are each other, you tell your two halves as you pull on panties and scramble for a bra. When I'm not with your friends, Lindsay, you're just going to be quiet and let me live in your body and do your thinking for you. Like, what the fuck are we gonna do with Caleb? You hook your bra together, slip it front to front, and tuck your boobs into the cups.

And when I'm with your friends I'll be you, but I'm gonna have to keep you on a tight rein and—

You almost fall over as a jolt runs through your body. It's like there's been an earthquake, and things have slipped inside your head.

Except it's more like things have slid together.

You blink as you realize that that feeling of warring personalities is gone. Oh, you still feel Lindsay, but she's trapped and powerless inside you. Or is it that you are inside her? You feel the shape of her mind, her memories, and her personality. But it's like a suit of clothes, shaped to your body and will. Only it's her mind that you're wearing over yours, just like you're wearing her body.

Lindsay's mind is now just another mask, one inside you.

But speaking of clothes and bodies ...

You hurriedly finish dressing, pulling on the jeans and the t-shirt, hiking the denim jacket over your shoulders, shoving your bare feet into the sneakers, and tucking your long hair under the trucker cap. From the jacket pocket you pull Lindsay's cell phone—

A little ripple runs through you as you think This is my cell phone. It's my phone and it's always been my cell phone.

—and check yourself out in the camera.

Heavy of face and lid and expression, Lindsay Cho scowls back at you. The expression feels totally natural—"resting bitch face," you suppose—and you wince at your smile when you try one out. Jesus, you sigh. This is who I am and what I'm in for, but I knew it going in. You put the phone away.

Okay, now to get out of here. You clamber atop Dane's messy desk and push at one of the windows. It refuses to budge. You play with the lock, and it still won't move. You try the other window. This one slides up with a protesting squeal, but there's a screen between you and the open air.

"Will?" a voice hisses from just outside.

"No, Jennifer Lawrence," you snark back. "How do you get these dumb screens down?"

"There should be some plastic tabs that you pull."

"Like what?"

"Like—"

"Never mind, I got them. Ow!" The tab slips from between your fingers as you yank at it. "Son of a bitch."

"You sure got comfortable with being Lindsay in a hurry."

"Bite me, man." You wrestle the screen out of the grooves, and Caleb takes it from you. "Help me out," you say as you swing a leg over the windowsill.

"You gonna put the light out?"

"Shut up." You loft yourself into space before adding, "Catch me." He does catch you, but it's with his face, and you both tumble to the ground.

"Christ, let's get out of here," you exclaim as you scramble up, and beat a retreat out the front yard and to Caleb's car.

* * * * *

"So what's the plan?" Caleb asks on the drive back to the Cho residence. "Or do you even have a plan? You're not planning to be this girl for the rest of your life, are you?"

"No! How long are Justin and them planning to be other people?"

"Haven't you talked about it with them?"

"Haven't you?"

"Don't get all bitchy with me, Will. This all was mostly your idea, remember?"

You cluck your tongue and look away with a scowl. But Caleb's right, you need to be less bitchy. So you turn face forward again, uncross your legs, uncross your arms, sit up straight—

Wow, there's a lot of body language that goes into being "bitchy," you realize with a start.

—and announce as pleasantly as you can, "I'm not going to spend one more fucking minute as Lindsay Cho than I fucking have to."

"I figured that," Caleb retorts, "but how long is that?"

You sigh. "Until I'm pretty sure Justin and them aren't going to fuck things up. Until I'm fucking sure that Lindsay isn't going to look at them and think, Fucking fakes."

"Uh huh." Caleb's tone is very dry. "So, sometime between tomorrow and five presidential elections from now."

"You know, if you're not part of the fucking solution, man, you're part of the fucking problem." You cross your arms again, then force yourself to uncross them.

"It's kind of fun setting you off this way," he chortles. "This is what it was like dealing with Lindsay while you were out of town."

You give him a sidelong glare, and this time you don't stop yourself from slumping in your seat. "You know, it's gonna be hard for us to hang out."

"Yeah, I'm all busted up inside at the thought."

"Maybe you should tell the guys that you want a new face so that you can hang out me and keep an eye on me."

"You mean to keep an eye on Lindsay?" He casts you a wary glance. "Just because you've made yourself miserable, man, doesn't mean you gotta try making me miserable too."

"I won't make you miserable. Lindsay's got friends. There's Paulina and Melanie and Evie, you know. I'm only—" You catch and correct yourself. "Lindsay's only a bitch and a cunt to you and me on account of the trouble we got up to with her friends. And at least you weren't in on it the way, uh, I was."

Caleb casts a couple of more glances at you. "That's the inside scoop from Lindsay?"

"I guess." Your words have actually surprised you. But they sound and feel natural, so you suppose it's something Lindsay would say. But it's your own sense of mischief acting when you add, "And if you asked me to go out with you, I'd totally say yes."

Caleb almost sends the car careening into the oncoming traffic. "Don't even joke about that!"

"Sorry, I thought it was funny." And yet, now that you've said it, you wonder if Lindsay wouldn't be receptive to Caleb. He is a senior, after all.

But you're not interested in him. "But in all seriousness," you tell him—

Next: "Can't Everyone Be Friends?" 

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"Table of Contents (Vol. 2)" 
"The Book of Masks (Vol. 2)"