Complex Numbers

Time to Change

So, I've decided to become a vegan and abstain from alcohol.

This isn't out of piety or puritanism, but because I have a need to feel superior to everyone else. I mean, yes, I already am superior to everyone else, but not everyone knows that. It is only by adopting veganism and abstention that it will be blindingly obvious.

I'm already on the way to this; after all, I already consider myself above the petty concerns of mundane life. This will only serve to cement that fact. I can look down my noses at the rest of you apes, secure in the knowledge that My Way is the Best Way.

Oh, hell, I can't do this any more...

APRIL FOOLS!

*chugs a beer*

*eats a rasher of bacon*

*belches*