The Book of Masks (Vol. 3)

Secondary Thoughts of a Secondary Character

Previously: "Sleeper, Awake!" 

"Your friend Sawyer knows about the masks, doesn't he?" you ask Taylor. "I mean, when you and Scott, uh, switched faces, was that before or after he, you know, had that accident?"

"Before." Taylor makes a face. "That's why he wanted to try out one of the masks."

"Then I think we have to tell him what's going on. At least, you guys need to tell Philip and the other guys about Sawyer, and what he knows."

Taylor looks at Sean, who raises his eyebrows. He sighs, but acquiesces.

Later, after Taylor has dropped you and Sean off at the school to collect your cars, you ask Sean if his brother is going to be alright.

"He's still getting used to things," Sean tells you. "We got together last night and—" He bites the inside of his cheek. "We had a heart to heart. Being home again, with our mom, it kind of got to him."

"So he's happy?"

Sean shoots you a piercing look. "Do you have a brother?"

"No. Oh, you mean, does Will Prescott have a brother?"

His lips twitch. "You thought I was asking about Kristy?"

"It's easiest to think that way." You tug at your braid, feeling suddenly self-conscious. Since Sean is done up as Scott, you ask him, "Isn't it that way for you?"

He shrugs. "Actually, I keep having to remind myself who I'm supposed to be. What my name is, who it is people see when they look at me. But do you have a brother?"

"Yeah, he's in middle school. Kind of a brat. Um, if you're still going to be me, you'll find out all about him. Why are you asking?"

"No reason. Okay, no, I'm asking 'cos you asked if Taylor was happy." He takes a deep breath.

"So, try to imagine that you had to pretend to be your own brother. That your parents thought you were dead, so you couldn't be yourself anymore, and the only way you could see your mom— And your dad?" He looks inquiringly at you, and you nod. "Well, imagine the only way you could be with them was by being him. Your brother. How weird would that be for you?"

Pretty weird, you admit to yourself. Sean says, "It's like that for Taylor."

"I'm sorry."

He shrugs again, then squints off at the horizon. "You're just lucky you have friends who know how these things work, so you don't fuck up like Taylor and Scott and Sawyer did. By the way, how do they know how these things work?" You admit you don't know. "Well, it's pretty lucky," he concludes.

* * * * *

Sean has unwittingly given you something to think about, and on your way home you wonder (with a feeling like dread) what it would be like to never be yourself again. What if I was stuck as Kristy Suffolk for the rest of my life? You comfort yourself coldly that there would be worse people to be stuck as, but the thought makes the Suffolk household, with its one old woman and its two middle-aged women, begin to feel alien again. You set the table and eat silently as your "mother" and "aunt" argue hotly about the latest grocery bill.

A chance for escape comes while you're helping to wash up. Mike had texted you to say that a new mask was ready for Sean when he was ready to become "Will Prescott," but you'd put him off, knowing that Sean and Taylor would have some news for the rest of the group. But now you get a text from Philip. Though it's phrased as a question—Can u come out to complex tonite for meeting?—it sounds like an order. When you reply that you can, he asks you to get your beta to come along too.

You're passing the open door to Carlos's makeshift gym when you hear your names shouted from within: "Kristy! Will! Hey you!" It's Jessica, and she looks tired and a little vexed. "We got everything ready for you. Your beta coming?"

"He should be. I thought he'd be here by now."

She nods. "Well, if Sean's going to turn himself into you, you have to get out of Kristy's things 'cos we're gonna have to put another mask on you."

"Are we doing that now?"

Jessica looks surprised. "Aren't we?"

Before you can answer, she goes to the doorway and looks out. There are voices—male voices—coming from the other storage bay, but you can't make out the words. Jessica listens a moment, then turns back to you.

"You know," she says, and her voice drops. "If Sean's going to be switching between your mask and Scott's, it's going to make it tricky for you. I mean, for when you want to go back to being yourself."

"Yeah?" That dread you felt earlier—the dread of never being yourself again—rushes back.

"There won't be a problem as far as keeping up with memories and stuff. Whenever you go back to being yourself, you'll be able to get all the stuff that Sean has been doing as you. We're going to set it up that way. But the, uh, physical stuff might be a problem."

"Like how?"

"Like, suppose he has to have a filling done while he's being you? If he goes to the dentist as you, and he gets a filling, your beta will have the filling, but you won't."

"The mask can't copy the filling into me?"

She shakes her head. "It doesn't work that way. The masks copy people, people don't copy the masks. Or what if, like, Sean has an accident and breaks his arm? Which would be your arm, since he'd be playing you?"

Or he has an accident as me and gets killed? you can't help thinking.

"We started talking about this yesterday, the rest of us," she continues. "Eva has a dental checkup coming up. If it shows a problem, Mike is going to have to give up being Eva, at least for a little while."

"That'll bum him out," you say, for a lack of anything else.

"Right. We're telling this to everyone, so you can be on the alert."

You thank him for it, and ask if Sean and Taylor have told him and the others about the trip to the hospital, and the results of it.

"Yeah," she sighs. "It's why I'm in here, getting ready to make some more masks. In case this friend of theirs wants one." You apologize for complicating his and his friends' lives. "It's not your fault," she says, which is nice of her, considering that you're the one who suggested making a beta of Scott Bickelmeir, thus uncovering Taylor Mitchell.

* * * * *

Except for that talk with Carlos, the trip to the complex turns out to have been a waste. Sean demurs on switching out of Scott's mask and into yours, for he figures he should be wearing Scott's face when Sawyer comes out to meet with Philip—a meeting that will probably happen tomorrow. You find yourself being very mindful on the drive home, lest you have the kind of accident that so screwed up Taylor Mitchell's life.

You get a phone call from Maria after you're home. She thanks you for going out to the hospital with the Mitchells, which is nice, though you bridle a little when she uses the phrase keeping an eye on them, as though you were acting as a spy. You bridle a little more when she asks if you'd keep in mind possible aliases for Sawyer, should he decide that he wants one. "Someone who Kristy could hang out with," he says. And though he doesn't say keep an eye on him again, it's the plain subtext.

So when Scott Bickelmeir texts to ask if he can pick you up for school in the morning, you almost decline—no ride, no opportunity to "keep an eye on him" for Philip. But he probably has something to say, so give him your address and text Kerri to say that you'll be getting a ride from someone else. She asks you who, but you ignore her.

"I think we should wait till tomorrow before switching things around," Sean says the next morning as you pull away from your house. "You know, me and Will Prescott. Who, you know, I'm not sure I've met yet. Anyway," he continues when you say nothing, "we can set things up so we have a date then. You and, uh, Will, I mean."

"Why not tonight? It's Friday."

"We're all meeting with Fairfax and them, with Sawyer. It'll probably be pretty long, pretty intense. You're not in a hurry, are you, for me to get into character as you?"

You tap the window with your knuckle.

Then it all comes flooding out: The dread that has been gradually building since your talk with him yesterday about Taylor, and your fear that something will happen while you're playing Kristy that will make it impossible to go back to being yourself. "I might want to switch back to being myself."

You're coming up on the school, and he says nothing as he maneuvers into the parking lot. But after switching off the motor he asks, "What happens to Kristy after you switch back to being yourself?"

"She goes back to normal."

"So you won't have her for a girlfriend."

Somehow, you hadn't thought of that.

"Also, she's going to be kind of lost when she's back to being herself. According to Philip and them, she's not going to remember anything that happened while you were being her."

You hadn't thought of that either.

"If you're going to switch back," Sean says, "seems to me today's the time to do it. Now. Before things get even more complicated for her and you."

* To continue: "Matryoshka Syndrome" 

*
"Table of Contents (Vol. 3)" 
"The Book of Masks (Vol. 3)"