Evolution of Love 2

Gender Noun

The Washington Post, in which it was postulated that English should
have male and female nouns, and readers were asked to assign a gender to
nouns of their choice and explain their reason.
The best submissions:

SWISS ARMY KNIFE -- male, because even though it appears useful
for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening
bottles.

KIDNEYS -- female, because they always go to the bathroom in
pairs.

TYRE -- male, because it goes bald and often is over-inflated.

HOT AIR BALLOON -- male, because to get it to go anywhere you
have to light a fire under it... and, of course, there's the hot air
part.

SPONGES -- female, because they are soft and squeezable and
retain water.

WEB PAGE -- female, because it is always getting hit on.

SHOE -- male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue
hanging out.

COPIER -- female, because once turned off, it takes a while to
warm up. Because it is an effective reproductive device when the right
buttons are pushed. Because it can wreak havoc when the wrong
buttons are pushed.

ZIPLOC BAGS -- male, because they hold everything in, but you
can always see right through them.

SUBWAY -- male, because it uses the same old lines to pick
people up.

HOURGLASS -- female, because over time, the weight shifts to the
bottom.

HAMMER -- male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last
5,000 years,
but it's handy to have around.