Complex Numbers

Rules for Writing

And now, folks, it's time for the February round of Bullshit Or Not!

https://lithub.com/jonathan-franzens-10-rules-for-novelists/

Now, this is a short article, so I'm not going to paste it here. Because that would violate Rule #0: Don't Plagiarize. (It's okay to borrow. It's even more okay to steal. It's never okay to plagiarize.) So please, read the link (as noted, it is very short).

First test of bullshit: who the hell is Jonathan Franzen?

Won awards: Okay.

Wrote for The New Yorker: Christ. I hate that mag.

Conclusion: writes for writers, not for readers.

Also, look at the picture. Look at it. "Okay, we need to make it clear that you're a writer, not a military officer, line cook, or assembly-line worker." All he's lacking is a pipe and a crystal decanter of Scotch.

Consequently, anything he has to say is probably erudite as fuck, but that doesn't mean it'll be useful. I mean, if you want to drive a car, do you pay more attention to what drivers say, or what automobile engineers say? I mean, okay, probably a little of both, but when it comes to the practicality of driving a car, I want someone with experience driving, not someone with an intimate knowledge of torque ratios.

On top of which, the linked article is really just an ad for his book. As such, it fails miserably - for me, anyway.

So here's my take on the Rules:

1. So what?
2. Writing for money is a good thing. Because money is a good thing.
3. This... okay, I can agree with this.
4. "Irresistibly?" There are reasons to write in different points of view. Choose the most appropriate one. Avoid present tense.
5. When the information that is universally accessible is of questionable provenance, finding the actual facts is a valuable thing.
6. Literary-genre authors like to proclaim that paradoxes make sense.
7. Dafuq does that supposed to mean?
8. It is doubtful that most people are writing good fiction.
9. Unless you find books like Jim Butcher's Dresden Files series interesting, I'm uninterested in your opinion on writing.
10. Again with the impenetrable pronouncements. "I need a #10 here. How can I appear profound? I know; I'll throw in something about love."

Now, I know, I know, this guy is published and I'm not, so maybe he knows what he's talking about. But if you can't figure out what he's actually saying, so what? It's torque ratios when I need to know how to start the engine.

So, what do y'all think? Bullshit... or not?