Refuge of Descent? I hate this title...

Those were the days

Chapter 3- Those were the days...

When Opal was a freshman in college, her boyfriend was a drug dealer. Back in the 90's, ecstasy and lsd were extremely profitable so he had a nice car and money to throw around. He lavished her with gifts and drugs. Looking back, she supposed people must of thought of her as kind of a drug dealer groupie- he cheated on her numerous times and she still kept going back to him.

They dated for a long time. Unbeknownst to her, the goods bought and sold had evolved from weed and psychedelics into opioids and coke. He went to prison, but snitched and managed to get himself into a halfway house after a short time. Apparently, the drug dealer's groupie was small potatoes so she got off lucky. That time.

It wasn't long after this that Opal went a little nuts in school. She managed to get through, although she would later admit to her shrink that she didn't remember most of it. Some times were good, some were awful, some were just sad. She loved Xanax, Klonopin, Vicodin; whatever prescription drugs would numb her out. She reflected back on that time and found it ironic, the one person who should've been responsible for her addiction had nothing to do with it. It was after she graduated that she hit rock bottom. She'd had a job, but was fired. She got another job- also fired. Eventually, she got kicked out of her apartment so she moved back home with her mother and stepfather. She now considered this to be one amongst a handful of huge mistakes in her life.

When Opal was 12, her mother married her stepdad. Suddenly, she wanted her daughter back in her life. It wasn't until later that Opal was informed by her grandmother it was her stepdad who wanted her to come live with them. He felt it was only right now that Opal's mother had settled down, she should start behaving like a mother.

They were like oil and water. Opal resented her mother, and her mother had no patience for Opal. In addition, Opal always felt a strange undercurrent of a mild hatred coming from her mother, a feeling she didn't understand until she got older and realized her mother was a competitive woman. There could be only one bitch in heat in the house, and Opal was a threat.

When she reached her early 20's and had to move back home, things were different somehow. Her mother seemed to warm up, to be more understanding. "Opal," she'd say "I don't want you to make the same mistakes I made when I was your age. If you ever need to talk about anything, I want you to feel like you can come to me OK?"

The thing she needed to talk about came sooner rather than later unfortunately. She had been living back at home for about 3 months when Opal found out she was pregnant. She was pretty sure she knew who the father was, although she had still been partying and sleeping around quite a bit.

The boy involved gave her a stack of money and told her it was either for an abortion, or for diapers because he wanted nothing to do with having a baby. Especially not with her.

An opportunity presented itself and Opal told her mother about what happened. She was oddly quiet at first. It seemed she was searching for what to say. "I need a little time to think about this, Opal" she finally offered.

Later that day, Opal heard her mother on the phone. She knew she was talking to her grandmother, the familiar rhythm of their conversation wafted into the den where she was watching TV. She heard her mother's voice getting louder, more shrill. Before you could say "dysfunction" they were full out fighting. Opal never did figure out exactly what they were saying, but she knew it was about her. All fights lead to Opal.

When her stepdad got home from work, Opal's mother took him to their bedroom and closed the door. Again, conversation turned to fighting. She heard him say something about her mother being crazy, and she said something about him being disgusting. Opal didn't think much of it.

Later that evening, her mother came to her room and closed the door.

"Opal, I need you to be completely honest with me about something." Opal tried, but she couldn't read her face.

"Ok. What is it?" She braced herself for the infinite possibilities of what would come next.

Her mother's face turned to hatred, she stood next to Opal's bed, glaring at her. "Who got you pregnant?"

Opal was confused, she had already told her who the boy was (she thought, anyway) and it was no one she knew so she didn't know why she was asking again. "I told you, that boy I met at Corinna's birthday party. The one who's friends with Chris."

"DON'T f***ING LIE TO ME GODDAMN IT!!! YOU ARE IN MY HOUSE YOU LITTLE SLUT, I WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU'VE BEEN DOING AROUND HERE BEHIND MY BACK!!!"

Now this wasn't the first time Opal's mother had yelled at her, nor the first time she had called her names. That wasn't startling. What startled her was the lunge toward her followed by her hands around Opal's throat.

"What. are. you...." Was all she could get out. She let go and loomed over her, panting and red-faced. Her hair was sweaty and plastered to her face. She looked very, very old.

"Don't even pretend you don't know what I'm talking about." She hissed. "I know who you've been f***ing in MY house, in MY bed, behind my back. It's disgusting what you're capable of. I hope you're happy because we're divorcing now, you can HAVE him!!!" She slapped Opal across the face hard. She felt warmth trickle from her nose and blood dripped down the front of her t-shirt.

Opal was numb at the shock of her implication. It seemed like an eternity for the thought to form clearly, but she realized she thought Opal had gotten pregnant by her own stepfather. Her mother's husband. She felt nauseous.

"You think I got pregnant by... Jerry?!? Are you f***ing CRAZY?!?" A million things to say roared through her head, the mental image of a freight train at full speed flashed through her thoughts.

Opal's mother stood for a long time next to her bed, watching her dab my nose with her shirt. Her expression was oddly blank.

"Neither one of you seem to want to be honest with me about this. I need to know what you're going to do."

That was an excellent question. Opal had no idea up until that point, but it was now glaringly obvious which way to go.

"I'm going to leave here and never come back." She replied evenly.

"That's not what I meant. I could care less about where you go. I'm glad you're leaving, it's the best for everyone that you do. What I meant was what are you going to do about the baby?"

"I suppose I'll get an abortion. I don't think I'll be able to do this on my own."

"Wise choice." Opal's mother regarded her with a steel gaze. "I'll give you a few hours to get your things together and get out."

She left the room unceremoniously. Opal buried her face in a pillow and sobbed until she made herself sick.