Writing about writing

October 17th 2018

Let's make this moment worth the while,
Let's kill the night and go down in style
         Bruises and Bitemarks, Good with Grenades

There are three things in this world, I simply cannot do without. The first one is caffeine. Every morning I will drag myself into the kitchen, make six cups of coffee and inhale them as quickly as possible, before being even remotely functional. They help me get ready for work, and also I wholeheartedly love both the scent and taste of it. I believe I cannot be truly alive without coffee, and I’m not even the tiniest bit interested in trying. Me and coffee go twenty years back, and is probably the closets thing I’ll ever get to a healthy, steady relationship.

The second thing is nicotine. I love-love-love my nicotine! I used to smoke a pack a day, before I went vapor, which is probably slightly better for my health, yet not nearly as satisfying. After all, poisoning myself with tar and a million other horrible things, really is my favorite pastime. The main (okay, only) reason why I switched is because I have an operation coming up, and they demand that I don’t smoke before and after. They said nothing about vapor though, so loophole right there! Do not take my nicotine from me, you do not want to see that shit going down.

Then there’s the last one on the list, the one that might seem somewhat weird. It’s pens. I cannot be without a pen, at any given time, I need to have a pen within reach. Not even kidding, I’ve got pens in the bed, every bag I own, I have them in the fucking shower! Cannot be without one, and I would panic beyond all reason, if I didn’t have a functional one at a grabbing distance.

Now not only am I highly addicted to these things, I’m also very picky about which ones it is. The coffee needs to be black (serious murder risk if you put sugar or some shit like that in my coffee), the nicotine needs to be menthol, and the pens needs to be these erasable things, which only comes in black and blue. They only sell them in one store where I live, and I’m pretty sure I’m the main reason why they keep them around. Today I grabbed five packs of them (meaning every single pack they had), so I think I’m stocked up for a while. I keep all of them in a drawer, right next to my “random ideas on post its” drawer.

I wrote one of those today actually, it says: “I don’t draw ugly people”. Kind of weird, but I’m sure I’ll make up something with it, some day down the line.

I finished another piece for the Flash Fiction contest today, in spite of having a really shitty day, writing-wise. I had a thousand nightmares during the night, slept till noon, then spend half the day just slumping around not doing a damned thing at all. I made a beautiful list of all the shit I should be doing, then went off and did none of them. I went to a bar with my best friend, had a shitload of coffee, and now I’m back at the computer.

Since I got home, I got some food, published the flash fiction piece, answered e-mails, and now I’m listening to Andy Black, and taking a more serious look at that horrible list I need to finish before November. It’s not that horrible, really, I think it’s doable. I try and fit in as much writing as possible during the day, just to get in the habit before NaNo starts, that’s why I’m doing the Flash Fiction whenever the subject speaks to me. Still got 13 days before it begins, I’ll be fine!

I need to write a full chapter a day, to get the entire book finished by the end of November. Some part of me is screaming, “That’s so fucking impossible you fucking moron!” while another is leaning back in the chair, waving a hand carelessly, saying, “Naaaah, it’ll be fine!”. Yeah I’ll probably die from stress before November being over. That or caffeine poisoning, whatever comes first.

Now I really should get back to those notes, it’s almost midnight, and I have no intentions what so ever of going to bed before four in the morning. Why would I, I slept till noon, remember?