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Printed from https://writing.com/main/books/entry_id/941268-Approach-the-senario
Rated: 18+ · Book · Experience · #930577
Blog started in Jan 2005: 1st entries for Write in Every Genre. Then the REAL ME begins
#941268 added September 11, 2018 at 8:10pm
Restrictions: None
Approach (the senario)
Approach. This is a theme I came up with about a week ago for something I would name a data visualization/ presentation I imagine myself making to a museum I'd like to work for. The topic it would be making a point to answer is this: What's the best way tocater to a variety of patrons. What reward makes the museum an attractive destination destination? The people of Los Angeles would be making many different choices in transportation options to travel to the museum. Whether it is by solo car, school bus, or light rail -- people make different approaches to the location of their choice that day. Some dedicated people, either with very little resources and money to expend, or someone with plenty, make up the potential museum audience. But above all, it is their experience of their approach which colors their initial experience once arriving at the museum.

Consider a family of six utilizing a combination of commuter train, light rail and metro bus (assuming someone from county's edge or beyond) making a day of it. Or a tourist. What is the approach experience of a neighbor? Someone who simply walks in off the street, a USC student, a Central L.A. or Southpark resident, a transient? You already can question whether each of these has the same expectations, the same educational/experience base, or if each will receive the same treatment upon entry to the museum.

We ask everyone employed at a public institution to treat others fairly, to advise our guests and each other of the agreed upon rules and the unspoken agreement to uphold standards for conduct. We do this partly for the attainment of an agreed societal culture, of which we count our museums and libraries as major contributors and catalogers of the evolving culture. Moreso, we hire people to populate the museum who are themselves, interested in the goals of our institution, educated, and, we hope, upholders of Federal Equal Employment Opportunity Laws. You know, those laws that evolve with us, that state that we will act in our hiring and working relationships so as not to discriminate against people for categories of description over which they primarily have no choice -- their genetics, including sex determination at birth or their outward gender identity, disability, their skin color, their nationality, citizenship, cultural identity or perceived religious background, age, and status as a veteran of armed service.

Whew, that's a lot to remember, but maybe not so much when you just advise others to avoid assumptions above all, and work hard to avoid classifying people when making decisions. Instead, let's just look at our goals based on people being people. What do people want? Maybe just to be heard and respected in their speaking, or even in their not speaking.

I had an experience, just a morning ago, that kept me quiet (afraid) in the moment, but really brought so many things into focus, even to restart/finish my memoir and increase my desire to do this "approach" themed project. And it involves taking the light rail on a still new ( two-month ) commute to work.

I could identify the people involved as being different races from mine, that point did have relevance to the argument and my experience of the confrontational nature of it, but instead, for this retelling, I will leave that out. While travelling on the light rail, I witnessed a male travelling with a female, who was pushing a stroller, establish "their spot" standing in the train car. The stroller contained two babies, the only unusual thing to note about that was that one was comfortably laid in what I would identify as the storage section of the stroller under the main seat. It appeared that a younger infant lay in the upper compartment. Nothing unusual about the conversation of the adults, seemed like they were making sure they had everything needed to drop the babies with a caretaker.

A few stops after, a man with a bicycle entered the already crowded train car. I was seated across from the space where bicycles are intended to be placed in the train (marked as a long box outline on the floor) and highlighted by a large bicycle image against a yellow background on the back wall). The couple with the stroller happened to be occupying the front half of this space -- too much of it to easily fit a bicycle in the remaining space. The man with the bicycle did however aim his bicycle into the remaining area. Immediately, the man of the couple shouted that his kids were there and became confrontational, verbally abusive and racially and politically pointed in harassing the bicycle user, insisting that he move his bike away, preferably to the next car. He also seemed to want to claim the territory of the neighborhood the train was travelling through and insist that the bicycle user leave the country. The woman was in agreement with her man's outrage. The outraged man additionally reached into his bag, in a way that I thought was likely to result in him brandishing a gun. Instead it was a black handled two-foot blade that emerged (also black, somewhat curved and wide on one end like a machette). This and the urging of the passenger right next to me convinced the confused bicycle user to move as much out of sight as possible.

The couple continued to crow about their perceived outrage and righteousness until exiting at Vermont/Athens. I and so many others around me really stayed quiet during the whole encounter. As far as I know no one called the police. I was angry at myself for not being able to say anything. However, as my husband pointed out when I told him about the way it cowed me, he said that's just how some people are, and probably for the best. I do feel that I took the steps I was capable of, namely, asking the passenger seated next to me if he was "OK" after-the-fact, and thanking him for the small part he did contribute to diffusing the confusion. I also happened to get off the train at the same station the bicyclist did, so I also asked him if he was "OK." The only compassion I could offer was agreeing that the man who was outraged seemed out of his mind.

So, in retelling the story several times, and in what I have additionally taken in in the whole day since, I have released a great deal of tension in just one day. I have no better insight into what made the one man so confrontational, but I respect myself more, even in my not doing much in the moment. I recognize myself in that quiet. Even in that fear. And a day later, I can think of things, strong things, I might have said to the bully. But I am a writer, not a soldier or a gang member, or whatever it takes to face down that weapon-toting kind of wrong. Being a writer is my talent, after all. I deny my talent too often, but in situations like this, and in so many unlike this, the comeback arrives twenty minutes later in the mind, and maybe thirty hours later on the page. I document. I don't immediately make it a script, or a prize-winner. And even now, I have left out the details and words that might make it influence, manipulate emotion, or give it drama. That is my process. And I can own that and use it. I have to be willing to go through all the analysis first, as well as take the next steps.

In this way, the way we see others, and acknowledge their "approach" we can better ourselves and we can better everyone's experiences. We all have a lot of steps to follow to get there for ourselves. But that's the only part you have to see clearly. When you can get it right for yourself, then maybe others can wake up to their part.

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