These Are My JOTtings...

Revelation: "Stepping Stones"

This List is merely a few of the Epiphanies of my Life, written in both prose and poetry.

1. "Some people speak more out of their fountain of frustration than from their reservoir of Wisdom." (There was a shoe-tying incident when a childcare worker told me that I was "dumb" because I was having trouble learning to tie my shoelaces at the age of five.)

A timid child of five could not his shoelace tie.
Impatient worker paced. Her hair began to fry.
"I need a little time. This task is really hard."
"You're dumb is what you are. Your brain is really marred."

For many years they've stuck, the words of this sad soul.
Forgiveness oft I've tried. This wound must needs be whole.
Please, make quite sure your tongue is gentle with each child
or sadness in the core will sink and grow as piled.

2. "Sometimes we don't see, but we don't know that we don't see." (I spent most of my first-grade year in need of glasses.)

"That board in front is mighty large.
She writes upon it there.
"I wonder if an added charge
would help the meaning here."

The math is quick within my mind.
I walk and understand,
But when I sit, I'm "distance blind,"
except for whitish bands.

3. "It's more important to respect a leader than to accomplish a goal." (I was paddled in the second-grade for continuing to complete an assignment in one subject when the teacher told us to "close our books," and move on to the next subject.)

The teacher looks with surly, piercing eyes
at student, who must seem to her despise.
"Out through that door, you go and stand, young sir,
until another teacher I procure."

The other teacher was my mom that day,
who watched my backside be the board's display.
"Obey my voice and list to nothing more
or this, again, will be for you in store!"

4. "Who you are related to means very little if it doesn't change your character for the better." (My fourth-grade teacher was by her account, "related to former-President Franklin Pierce. However, she had a demeanor that kept me afraid, and she gave me the only "F" on a class paper that I remember throughout all twelve of my elementary grades.)

"My relative The President,
his name was Franklin Pierce.
"You'll listen to my voice, intent,..."
"...Or face some troubling fears,"

My thought was not respectful kind,
but little matter made
For paper made me shocked to find
a big, fat, failing grade.

5. "A mother can teach her own son in a public school without being partial to the other students." (My Mom was my fifth-grade teacher. She did this.)

My Mom was fair throughout each daily class.
She taught me well and others helped to pass.
The son at home, each day was equal ward,
who held up hand before approached her t'ward.

I learned 'mid children, black and white, in former "colored" school.
The principal was affable but held quite firmly rule.
Each day was pleasant learning much, while unity we sought.
Each child accepted this new place with integration taught.

6. "One doesn't have to be the adult in charge in order to be IN-CHARGE." (My sixth-grade teacher could NOT maintain control of our class. One of my classmates, a boy, cut my finger with a paperclip by trying to snatch it out of my hand around class time one day. He was not punished. On another day, however, all my Dad had to do was to walk into the classroom and the class became deathly quiet.)

Some teachers are much better at
the rule of law in class,
But other's order just falls flat.
They let all children pass.

But Presence makes the class to stop
and listen t'ward a face,
Commanding all to quickly hop
t'attention in that place.

7. "Even an overweight boy can be a success at running." (I asked my P.E. coach in the 8th-grade if I could go out to run the track during gym class because I was tired of the boys in my grade, who were teasing me about being a "fatty." He was more than glad to let me do so. Ultimately, I was given the privilege of running as a member of our track team at the end of the year in a meet against our cross-county rivals. The one-mile run was a heat of two members of the rival team, one of my teammates and me. In order for our team to win the meet, we would have to win the first and second places in the mile run. My buddy won the race "hands-down." The real race was between one of the rivals and me. I led for three out of the four laps, but he passed me as we started the final lap since I was starting to tire. On the last turn, I decided to "leave it all out on the track," giving my final kick. I passed him back and kept it this time, taking second place and winning the meet for our team. That was a great claim to fame during my teen years.)

"'Fatty! Fatty! Two by four,
walking through the old barn door!"
The days of shame were all quite sad.
I longed for hope but felt so mad.

"Please, Coach! May I go run the track?
I'd lose the weight and ne'er go back!"
"Of course, My Boy. Good use of time.
You'll lose the weight and be quite prime."

He placed me on his running team.
The meet was lost last lap it seemed,
'Til effort overtook fatigue
and made me shine as in new league.

8. "One can graduate as the top senior bandsman, even carrying the tuba." (Winning The John Philip Sousa Award as a senior of 1978 [Mathematicians know that makes 40 years, currently] was probably the greatest moment of my high school years. I was a 4.0 GPA co-Valedictorian that year, too, but music to this day maintains the dearest place in my heart, academically. Hence, my love of poetry as shown in my style of writing the same.)

The tuba seems a lumb'ring oaf for players, who are fat,
but strength is needed notes to play that do more than just splat.
A sweeter friend we'd never find as instrument of note
than tuba of the richest kind from focused, singing throat.

As only tubist in the band, I gave up right to lead.
The drum major was trumpet friend, while bass line I would read.
Yet, at the end of senior year, John Philip Sousa came
in his award, my cherished treasure, bright the trophy, same.

9. "An average-looking guy can marry a 'drop-dead' gorgeous lady because The Lord can make any woman 'beauty-blind' when she sees something attractive on the inside." (August 1st of this year will make 32 years of marriage for this amazing lady and her most humble servant.)

The polished senior, poised to open "oyster" of the world
when she arrived, a gorgeous lass with beauty full unfurled.
An av'rage guy not much to give to one so fully blessed
but played her song piano on. It seems I passed the test.

Apparently, a lady needs not handsome guy at all
if loving heart resides within the figure, who would call.
These years of 32 are gift as man in mirror looks,
while lady gives great hugs and coos and reads more daily books.

10. "Being made right with The Lord Jesus is my greatest Treasure. It is a Gift. I could never earn it." (I was saved at the age of six when my eternal soul was translated out of the kingdom of darkness into the Kingdom of His Marvelous Light. That is the greatest day of my existence, both now and forever.)

The Savior of the world is Christ.
He died upon a tree.
He rose the third day to new life
My heart has been set free.

A little boy of six years old
was smitten to the heart.
The life of sin could never hold
a candle to new start.

"But how could child of six know sin?"
you wonder in your mind.
A child that age knows how to win,
and when a person's blind.

A child can know that God is real,
Eternity is true.
The heart of one so young is healed
by He, who lives anew.

Life appears to be a series of defeats (as they seem to our eyes) and victories (as they are seen through our eyes as well,) even though when Life is over and we are given the full view of Life as a whole from beginning through the end, we may yet learn that many of our defeats were victories and that some of our victories were in truth defeats. A grain of sand next to the tender skin of the oyster becomes a pearl. Harsh words that were spoken to a child usually appear cruel, yet some of these incidents produce the strong character of excellent caregivers in the adult years as the once-child learns how to receive those ill-considered words in a much better viewpoint.

The days of life are sometimes rough and raw
when thoughtless persons smack you side the jaw,
But even days of hopeless, wand'ring thought
are times the Savior knows His child is taught.

Life is a series of inequities. We receive cruelty that we don't believe we deserve. However, we receive kindnesses that go way beyond our ability to ever come close to deserving. Apparently, the Divine Smelter knows how to skim the molten precious metal, until that precious metal has been made pure at the very moment that He sees His Face reflected in the liquid.

Unfairness is a two-way street, I trow.
For better comes to me, I plainly know
Than what I do deserve of mirrored face.
It all comes down to gift, Amazing Grace!

by Jay O'Toole
on May 3rd, 2018