Shadow Puppet Storyteller

Obsessions

I am going to write free-form for at least a half-hour (workflow permitting) While I am keeping one eye on the work folder and the other to this screen, i already know I want to explore the topic of obsession. Maybe as I go I will think of a word that better fits the levels of obsession I am thinking of. At this moment, both ezamples I am highlighting are trivial. Many can take or leave these indulgences completely out of their life. I prefer to explore the effect and the feelings in experiencing a desiring to be gratifed.

As an example, I know that ever since the Christmas holidays of 2016, Starbucks has fueled an obsession in me. Strangely, it is not in being thoroughly delighted by their coffee; instead, my obsession is in collecting their stars. I am hooked when there is a reward. Even when I know I do not need a coffee, I would buy one if it gave me the ability to collect stars. Why can't I use this to reignite my love of games in general. Is it the allure of receiving a physical, exists and can be redeemed in "the real world" reward? I have caught myself trying to rationalize the purchase of a coffee. A few times it has actually helped me halt the craving to realize it is the game I am craving more than the product.

My other example is when a new movie is coming out. Even the reality of large crowds and less than favorable finances to pay the highest pricing does little to deter my continued drive to see it right away. The lack of money to go see the newest installment of a franchise can get me very creative -- because I like movies. I do not like having to tell myself, "This cannot happen because you have no money, right now," (perhaps due to the misguided coffee habit)? Part of it is me being a big Know-it-all and not wanting to deal with avoiding other movie-goers spoilers on the internet. The biggest part of it is another layer -- my investing in the characters. The Avengers is today's example. There are several story threads waiting to be played out. Will Romanoff and Banner reunite and get a chance at culminating some of the intimate moments from Age of Ultron? Will Captain America prove his strength against Thanos, and how will Bucky Barnes recovery in Wakanda play out to the benefit of his friend? For unclear, but predictably comic book reasons, could the Red Skull reappear? Who would be made to suffer? And the title remains Avengers; who else will there be to Avenge? Will Loki have to take the consequence of failing Thanos with his Chitauri army being defeated in New York; will the price be death?

And being a storyteller myself, is the prospect of having to wait a few days before seeing what has been scripted really make a difference? If I stay strong, and end up not liking what fate shows on the screen, can I not just rewrite a different ending?

As it goes for the coffee, should I end up buying something late and I sense I only need half a cup, the remainder can wait in the freezer -- and I have gamed my own back account by buying one and utilizing it, spread over two days; deepening my discount rush.

So, this is unedited -- and what is above is a full half-hour of writing for me (yes pitiful but my truth). I do feel like continuing and I may just throw more ideas in as a they come. For example, I rewatched Age of Ultron this week, and I got caught up in the good acting and character development -- it did not have Tom Hiddleston's Loki as a menacing counterpoint to Natasha Romanoff like in the 2012 AVENGERS. He's already captured, and will have his big scenes in Thor: The Dark World. Instead, we are asked to ruminate over the ways the team members manage lives of togetherness and individual power. In story arc terms, this was quite necessary to make Captain America: Civil War work best, since they are then divided, and finding that against some things, standing alone isn't enough.

Back to that idea that the depth of the obsessions I have mentioned, in comparison to the global population, is shallow. But I do not think I have really talked about how "the need" to do them makes me feel. One experience is being anxious; act so that will not miss out on a opportunity. If we all could talk about the feelings behind what drives us, then we might be able to relate more. And isn't that where the storyteller is really trying to take an audience? Into the soul of each other, even if for a moment. To lay bear the motivations for vengenance, for brotherhood, for striving, for loving. Why do some people only feel loved and heard by one person, and others crave the loyalty of every person they meet? So, clearly we have to do this from one's own comfort level.

Most people living in this time, the Twenty-first Century, feel no one has enough time for all there is to accomplish in a day. How do we spend time reflecting on who we are and what are true needs are? Eventhough we have devices that simplify our ability to communicate, that accomplish that feat nearly instantaneously, there are still problems trying to talk to one another. Eventhough a household no longer needs to be self-sufficient for a family to survive, and the tasks of cooking, cleaning, staying clothed and fed are sped up with appliances of convenience and the availability of stores which supply items ready-made, we are overtired and undisciplined to the fine function of even a day's activity at times. Mothers and Fathers don't seem to know their children any better.

Maybe what I really need is for that enclave of concentric circles I call mine to show that they know me and my needs. That my lover hovers close enough to give me a touch as well as words. That my family seeks me out to sit and talk over the amount of time it takes to enjoy a coffee or a tea. That work collegues encourage my creativity that benefits both the functioning of our team and those I leave behind to be part of that team. That my church family members accept me as spirit as much as flesh, and that they love and remember me whether I am able to gather for worship or need to be alone. That the groups I join draw even more people that I need to me, so that my understanding grows from all perspectives. And I am at the center of all this, and I have to be willing to speak the needs as well as show the patience and gratitude for all their part in making me feel strong in speaking them.

And it is happening now.