Can We Talk 2

Goal Setting

         I am still struggling with priorities and goal setting. I recently saw a brief podcast that claimed goal setting puts you in the failure state. You set your weekly goals or your new year's resolutions, and you are automatically in the failure state. You stay there until you can check off your goal as completed. Then you fall into a common experience of having reached a goal and feeling let down. ("I caught the wild mustang, now what?" or "I made my first million; why don't I feel better?) So you set another goal, maybe a harder goal, and you are once again in the failure state.

         He was addressing business people mostly, but used writing as an example. Instead of saying my goal is to write a book or a poem or series of essays, tell yourself you are going to write X number of minutes or hours every day. He said to avoid counting words or chapters, just say a time amount. Then it doesn't matter how well you write or what you write, you just get in the habit of writing. It becomes a priority above everything else. You can feel successful day by day and not just at some distant point in time.

         I thought I can do that. I can devote an hour to this, one to that, and so forth, and I realized I won't have time for sleeping, personal care, unexpected events, etc. How do people manage whose priority is to care for children, elderly parents, or sick family members? Your own health and exercise is another priority. Your business or work is another. Then there are hobbies and passions and friends and church or clubs. But I read elsewhere just this morning that if you have more than three daily priorities, then you don't have any priority. What priorities to give up or delay?

         I found a crochet pattern book that promises you can make a full afghan in a week. I'm experienced and have worked steadily every day for 12 days on a very simple pattern and am not finished. Some days I spend hours on it nonstop, so I don't know how someone does one in a week. I enjoy the work, and it gives me an excuse for having the TV on. I can listen while I'm crocheting and when your fingers have a feel for it, you can look away frequently and keep going.

         I do set weekly goals, because I've always liked check lists. But at week's end, I do feel like I've fallen short. That part is true. I didn't make my deadline to get all those things done. When I'm easy on myself and keep the list simple, then I feel like I haven't really tried. It was too easy. I need to stretch a little. I don't want to feel like I'm coasting from day to day with bare minimum effort. I certainly don't want to lag behind.

         Maybe it's an appropriate struggle for various age milestones we have. Where am I going with my life? Am I making any progress? Am I truly happy or am I settling? Am I using my potential? Am I making a difference to others? Am I being the best me? Am I running out of time? Somehow we have to discern how to avoid the failure state and still shoot for the stars.