MY AL-ANON BLOG...

Seeking Approval

SEEKING APPROVAL AND RECEIVING DISAPPROVAL
I couldn’t find “approval” or “disapproval” in the indexes of our Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature.

         I find that “seeking approval” is a hidden character defect in me, masquerading as frustration, unrealistic expectations, arguments or resentments --- my reactions to perceived “disapproval.”

         A regular trigger occurs when dealing with a “know it all,” likely a reflection of one of my own character defects. (Sometimes I think I need to have all of the answers in order to elevate another person’s perception of me.) If that is not enough, Why do I continue to expect someone who repeatedly behaves one way to suddenly behave differently---normally, reasonably, sanely, morally in my mind? Maybe I’m not alone?

         Another trigger is when I’m being blamed/shamed for another’s mistake. This upsets me, making me want to justify, argue, defend and/or explain myself. I don’t have to react to another person’s misbehaviors.

         May God/my higher power help me identify these pitfalls/triggers and choose not to react in the normal way---thus breaking the cycle, at least for myself. Is it necessary that I respond at all to any given situation/trigger?

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THIS BRINGS ME TO THE AL-ANON STEPS ---

         In looking at Step One, I find that this has been an area where, having let go of serenity, I have been “powerless” and "managing" this --- on my own --- often escapes me.

         Using Step Two, I turn to God (my higher power) and so that He can restore my sanity.

         And Step Three, I make the decision to turn my will and my life (my reactions---modus operandi) over to the care of God, as I understand Him.

         I find working the Al-Anon program---practicing the principles contained therein---empowering.