MY AL-ANON BLOG...

Unrealistic Expectations and Frustration

         Sometimes, I find myself frustrated by the actions and behaviors of others---even Al-Anon friends in recovery.

         Recently, I had three mind-blowing events to overcome/work through---with two ladies in Al-Anon and a work-related situation---in the space of a week. Within a few short days, I was thrown into a tailspin of depression, frustration and angst---desperate for resolution. At my lowest, death seemed a viable means of escape.

         I prayed to God, devoured my Al-Anon conference approved literature and other resources, and made an appointment to address my diminished mental state.

         I am thankful I did not gossip; and I did not retaliate or behave reprehensibly.

         Without forcing solutions, all three situations were resolved.

         The first lady, made direct amends.

         Reasoning with myself positively, I completely “let go” of the work situation and became amenable to whatever outcome might transpire; however, without my help, amends were made, evidenced by action.

         Finally, I also let go of a resolution between me and the other lady, an Al-Anon member in service. At the end of a regular Al-Anon meeting, while reciting ...forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us... (the closing prayer), these words penetrated my heart, making an indelible imprint upon my soul at just the right time. When I saw my Al-Anon friend at District the next Saturday, she was all smiles and congeniality as if nothing untoward ever happened between us.

         Using the indexes of my Al-Anon conference approved literature, I was able to discern my feelings. Through prayer, meditation and many readings, I understood that my own unrealistic expectations and frustrations were due to an innate need to control my surroundings.

         The research, healing and my ultimate ability to let go and let God, gave me the authority to personally share my experience, strength and hope, thus bringing an effective Al-Anon meeting on the topic of “unrealistic expectations and frustrations.”

         I grew in recovery and wisdom from this experience.

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         Coming out on the other side of this, I understand clearly that I was a victim of---and eventually a victor over---my own character defects/shortcomings.

         Historically, both of my parents were adult children of alcoholics---without recovery. Growing up, I learned to deny my feelings, to deny reality. Despite my age, I am often clueless as to why and/or what I am experiencing and do not understand my own feelings and reactions. Therefore, I must continue to seek God (my higher power) and to work through the principles of the Al-Anon program and attend meetings regularly.