Hey, life? Are you kidding me?

Things I Just Don't Get

Things I just don't get


I'm in a list mood, folks. Well, it'll probably have some commentary/explanation too.


1. How do mosquitoes poke through your skin to extract blood and it doesn't hurt? I mean they are basically cutting you. Are you with me here? A pinprick kind of hurts, and it's not sucking your blood. I probably should google this because maybe I'm not understanding the mosquito process correctly, but I take no shame in being uninformed. Plus, if you do a google search with the word 'blood', some nasty images could come up and I'm just not in the mood for that.

2. Why are songs from the '70's so long? Don't get me wrong - I love them for the first eight minutes or so but after that I'm like 'this guitar solo with an occasional scream is killing me'. Give me a slow fade, and let's move on. Except for Bad, Bad LeRoy Brown; that one can be longer! Maybe I just have a short attention span. Potato! I just threw that potato thing in for my husband; I think he'll get it.

3. How to upload pictures on here without going through adding them to your image folder! That takes forever and there has to be another way because some people have pictures on everything.
Okay, if you look at the bottom of this post you will see I sort of figured it out, but I can't move them to where I want them to be! grrrrr!

4. Why when you finally make an appointment with the doctor, you start feeling normal about five minutes before the appointment. But don't cancel it, because then you are going to feel really like shit and if you die you are really going to regret cancelling the appointment. Plus, getting a shot is just like getting bit by a mosquito - apparently!

5. How kids who are 13 years old and older don't know their address or how to spell their middle name. First of all, I'm pretty sure you learned your address in kindergarten. I can see how you might have moved since then, but 'hello!' you might need to know where you live - for emergencies - like the pizza delivery guy. And your middle name??? It's YOUR name. You can figure out how to hack a computer, program any phone, ride a bike, feed yourself, but you just can't use that talent to learn how to spell your middle name?

6. Why my legs hurt at night and not during the day. This is just cruel. During the day, I wouldn't mind getting up and taking a Motrin. And I'm moving so hurting would make sense. But no, let's wait until I'm horizontal and tucked in. And taking a preemptive pill doesn't work; it makes the pain mock me. Recently, I've resorted to this expensive essential oil concoction called Deep Blue; it does work pretty well. However, I get the feeling my husband doesn't think me smelling like a 80 year old is very sexy. Now, that I type that I realize I'm actually relieved the smell of 80 year old men aren't a turn on to him.

7. Why do I keep dreaming about school!? Bruce (hubby) said last night I yelled, "I've about had it with you, Jerry. Sit down!" I don't think I've ever taught a Jerry, and I sure hope I don't have one in August because then I will know these dreams are signs of things to come; then the only thing to do will be to quit and find another job, because I'm not living out these dreams. Once is enough. And, according to the internet the only jobs teachers are qualified to do is teach. Try it - google 'other jobs for teachers'; you get tutor which is um... teaching.

8. Why if you ever accidentally overdraw your bank account, do they insist you rectify the situation immediately, but then a deposit takes 2 to 5 days to go through. Basically, they are asking you to do the impossible even if on the off chance you have money to deposit. Mind boggling.

9. British Comedy - Don't hate me for it; it's not my fault I hate it. Now it is my fault when people start talking about Dr. Who and I refer to him as Dr. Who Cares.

10. I have to think of one more because we must end on an even number. 'Why?' you ask. Because I'm me. Okay, I got it. Why can I never find a matching pair of shoes. I realize I kick them off as soon as I get in the door, but they should both still be there when I need them. It's not like I kick one off by the door and one off in the bathroom. Or do I? Also, why do I love to buy shoes but hate to wear them?


Thanks for pretending to read,
Audra

Explanation of pictures I just put on here to see if I figured it out. A pretty view of our farm and sky, my son and I, Me looking like death should be on the other side of me with my hair down. It's backwards. The hair down one was taken before I went to school; the other one at 3:45 - it's a great before and after look at what a day can be like in 6th grade, Just a collage when I was trying to see if I could figure it out, Laynie, my sweet puppy, hubby and me -- I might have missed some because now I can't see the pictures on here. Geez!!!

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Hey, life? Are you kidding me?  (18+) You never know what you'll find - humor, ramblings, rants, randomness- it's all me! #1578384 by audra_branson