Soundtracked

30DIC Day 5: Lateral Marionette

'Sup y'all? Weird day, which I'll explain a little bit more of later, but the important fact that is most pertinent to this very cult of internet you're looking at right now is that I, when faced with a choice, made one and stuck to it and didn't waver. And if you're keeping score at home, yes, that is a big deal. That doesn't mean I wrote a great poem, of course...baby steps, people. Remember when I said not to expect a poem from me every day, thinking in my head there was no way I was gonna even bother with that, and then I've gotten halfway through the first week with all-poem entries? Who's spoiled now??

So, sorry not sorry, but yeah, only one poem today. Which means maybe I'll have some energy and patience to be sociable this evening (but don't push me ). I know it needs some cleaning up- trust me, I know...I was doing some while transferring it from my physical notebook to its online home. I should also note that maybe I should take a little more time to critically notice what is actually happening in these pics...I thought the shadowy figure had his back to the viewer, but of course upon further inspection after the poem was already written, yup, he's facing us. WTF...that kinda blows up my interpretation of the image a little bit . Oh well. Have a poem anyway.

Lateral Marionette

There's a past and a
future and a
man at the divide
silently longing to act on his own
intuition.
Free from a monologue
preachin' from inside
and a lifetime's cache
of strings attached;
long enough to see freedom
and loud enough to know
it can't be real.

If what you want won't stop you,
what you've done will.

With deadly fiber optic precision
another life's leash
lets up dangerously close
to countless possibilities
feigning every hope
and it gets him
         every
         single
         time.
As soon as the blue
starts to fade white
the strings jerk back
in time, seemingly,
nanoseconds apart...
reeling him loosely in.
He wants to come out
and play
but he's a puppet of his making;
the past, an incorrigible boss
and ruthless deal-cutter.
Control was signed over
long before he could
see intention for its worth;
before the glow could entice.
There is no show when
moving sideways.
Every wrong turn
gets him a little closer
to a sharper yank.

Close enough
is never close enough.

         "Lateral Marionette"  from "Also Mutants" .

Semi-obscure but not really obscure band time! I had a different song in mind at first, to be honest...and I also had a different poem title in mind as well (go figure ), but when I went to look up the song, I realized it was called "Silver Heat" and not "Blue Heat", which sorta wrecked the vibe and also would've rendered its relevance ummm...irrelevant. Luckily I wasn't married to the idea.

Scrolling through iTunes, I came across this song and it always kinda makes me smile with that sorta downtuned, grunge-ish pop-punk sound that can't really be categorized as one or the other. A couple lineup changes later, they're this kinda well-known band AWOLNATION, but I saw them live at a Buffalo radio station festival concert as Home Town Hero.

"Bleeds In Blue"   -Home Town Hero

"But hey, a little lullaby can start with burning eyes
when all along, she feels good."

I guarantee you, had I forgotten to bring an umbrella today, I would've been caught in a torrential downpour...instead, just some sprinkles. Had to go across town for a doctor's appointment today and looking at the weather yesterday, I just took a screen-cap of it and sent it to NaNoKit with the caption "Fuck my week I guess"...the forecast called for rain straight through to, like, Friday, plus thunderstorms starting this afternoon. Barely rained at all. Sun's even trying to come out a little now. But if I'd forgotten that damn umbrella, I'd be bitchin' about how miserable and wet I am .

Sooooo about that doctor's appointment...it was another hoop in my SSI/SSD appeal basically. My lawyer sent him some paperwork, and he called me in to go over it with me...and I'm glad he did. Line 4, first page:
         Does your patient meet the American College of Rheumatology criteria for fibromyalgia?

Yes           No

And I still don't know a whole lot of what all that means, so please don't ask me . But at least it's official now, I think? I've got it in writing and it's been sent to a lawyer, so that's gotta count for something.

And finally, so I got a haircut last week, and was going to color it yesterday, but before I do I need someone to explain this part of chemistry to me (I was really bad at Chemistry in high school, as anyone watching "Invalid Item"  can attest to). I'll try to frame it in the form of a word problem to make it easier.
         I had blue hair, and wanted to dye it green, but in order to do that I first had to bleach it out so it was blonde enough to hold the new color (my natural color is more of a medium brown). However, when I rinsed the bleach out of my hair, I wound up with very blonde hair tinged with pink...I haven't even put the green in yet. Why did this happen?

I think that's all I've got goin' on for tonight...peace to ~ Aqua ~ for the Awardicon that I won in the "Invalid Item"  and the person responsible for my tickets...everyone go out and get yourself and your homies some! And that noise I made earlier about me maybe being social later...it's up in the air now, because I can't tell if I need a nap or missed my afternoon meds (oh the world of pharmaceutical self-management ). Naps and snacks...sounds like my plan for the night! Peace, they've heard it all before, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!