Thoughts & Things

"You're Too Young to Be That Sick"

"You're too young to be that sick" is only one of the many ridiculous things people say to me when they hear how unwell I am. Really? Too young? I didn't know. This changes everything. I guess I'm not sick after all. Oh wait. That's not how it works.I wish I was too young to be as sick as I am, but unfortunately my illnesses did not stop to consider my age.

I know that most people don't mean harm when they say things like this, but just because you didn't mean it that way doesn't mean it wasn't received that way. I know that most people are simply surprised, as they don't know many people who have chronic illnesses, particularly people who have chronic illnesses when they're only in their teens or twenties. That said, to me it feels like disbelief. They don't believe that I am really sick. Maybe they think I am exaggerating or lying. Maybe they think I want to be sick. It really just isn't like that though. You can get sick at any age.

To be fair though, "You're too young to be that sick" is a step up from "Just wait until you're older!" At least the former is usually meant with good intentions. It's usually from someone who is simply shocked that illness can strike at any age. The latter is one that I have yet to think up an excuse for. The latter is what people say when they think you're being whiny. The latter is what people say when they think you're making a mountain out of a molehill. The latter is what people who don't have any understanding of chronic illness at all say.

I hear a lot of really toxic things as a person who is ill. Most of them have to do with my age, as if people can't imagine being sick before they're sixty. I understand not wanting to imagine that illness could strike anyone at any time. Some of them somehow seem to come from medical professionals. My doctor's medical assistant asked if I was not getting bored being on sick leave for so long. Sometimes, I suppose. It isn't that I don't want to be working. Mostly though, I'm not bored. I spend so much time napping or sleeping or wanting to be asleep, that most of my time spent not doing those things is time I spend trying to enjoy my hobbies. When I worked, all I had the energy for was work and sleep.

I know that it can be hard to imagine being sick when you're healthy. I know that I never used to think about it. Back when I was healthy. I just wish that people would take more time to consider what they say to someone before they say it. I wish that people would consider the possibility that I am actually unwell, and that maybe "sorry to hear that" is the only thing they needed to say in that moment.

(I have committed to blogging daily with Give It 100. This is Day Nineteen. One day of leave taken total.)