Daily Musings

Childhood Nightmares, and Ranting About the Paranormal

Why did I decide to share this, I don't know. Felt like it needed to be out of my system and rant about it.

Kids are strange, and sense the weirdest things.

When I was little and we lived in our grandparent's house in Michigan (when I was like...I don't remember maybe 5-6 years old) and we had a basement there. It was a furnished basement, my grandpa (not the one who passed) lived down there on the couch with a tv and all that. Our play room was on the other side of the living space, where there was this small hallway to the right, that housed the furnace room and to the left, my uncle's room. I was a little scared of the furnace, but the room that housed it was also a storage room, so it wasn't too bad. Well, sometimes, when I would play by myself (but my grandpa was down there. I don't think I was ever brave enough to play literally by myself there) or when my sister and or cousin would go upstairs to get something, I always got this weird tingling sensation in my back. Yeah, I'm probably just crazy. And I always got uneasy, so when I heard them coming back down, I would run and press my back up against the furnace room door in that tiny hallway until they came and found me. I wasn't scared of them, but I always got that flight response and that urge to hide, even when I knew it was just them. I was just oddly attracted to the hallway whenever that happened. It creeped me out a little, but it was also my safe place.

I always had nightmares about someone or something chasing me downstairs or at least I would run there, and of course when you try and run in dreams it's slow motion, so at the top step of the stairs, I would end up jumping and free floating/falling down the stairs and when I tried to run to the furnace room, it felt like this windy force was trying to pull me back. It would always be my sister and cousin pulling me in there, but of course they or it would always catch me.

The second thing, was my grandpa would usually watch scary movies, and I never wanted to watch them, but when my cousin was over, she wanted to (she's younger than me but older than my sister) so her and my sister (I think it was because she felt like she had to to please her, honestly I don't know, I don't think she enjoyed it) so I didn't want to be left alone in the play area with all the scary noises so what did my dumb ass do? I watched it with them. I was always the follower to my cousin. I felt like if I didn't do what she wanted she wouldn't play with me anymore. So I watched several scary movies with all of them, and it fucked me up so bad. Even before all that, I had really bad problems with sleep paralysis, horrible nightmares (more often than not, people coming after me with a weapon or some fucked up creatures coming at me), and just overall trouble sleeping.

As I got older, and we moved out, I still had some nightmares about that basement, but they lessened over time. Then it went into horrifying, or sickening images, but a lot of it was like abstract art. A few nights I had dreams about giant spinning yarn type balls that I was on top of or something like that, and I would have to go out in the living room because I felt so sick. My parents never knew because I didn't know how to tell them. Also, I always had a sleepwalking problem.

Another dream that scarred me for a small while was about a chicken thing that was pecking me. It came out of a really dark room and came after me. I woke up sweating, because I had been having a nightmare before that too and I was so hot and sweaty when I was jolted out of it. I was so scared because it was dark, and our beds came off the floor, so fearing something under my bed, I kicked the sheets over it, ran to my door, looked towards the living room and started forcing my parents door open. I think because I was so scared it was hard to open. Once I got it open, all I remember was standing in their room, and when mom asked me what was wrong, I burst into tears telling them, the chicken was pecking me. My mom later told me she was trying not to laugh because I was so distressed but just the way it came out or something it was funny. I look back on it now, and laugh at my reaction, even though I was terrified. If I had a dream similar, I'd still be scared.

Now, when we moved down here, and stayed with our grandparents, we slept in the backroom, and I had some nightmares, but not as often.

Moving back a few years, I believe we were going back down to Texas (as my dad was in the army) after visiting relatives, and our great grandmother gave us these...I believe they were cassette players, just small ones, and they had bible stories or something on the tapes, so one night I was listening to them to go to sleep in my headphones, and at a certain part it kinda scared me a little and I opened my eyes, and since my closet door was open (mind you I was in the same room as my sister, just saying I wasn't alone so I felt a little more safe) and I swear to god I saw something. Of course my overactive imagination got me into mental and emotional trouble. So yeah that freaked me out.

Back to when we moved down here.

At the first house we rented down here, there was one night where I slept literally, my mattress was against the window, but we had a curtain over it, and one night I had a dream about a demon like figure in the window and he had a sign written in blood. I don't remember what it said, but I'm terrified of windows. I actually screamed in my sleep as an alarmed response and in my dream I couldn't get a sound out, but I guess because I was pushing so hard in my sleep I actually screamed. So my mom came in there and saved the day and all that. She said it startled her. I had a lot of sleep paralysis issues then too.

Right now, the only other time I remember, is I believe this year, I tried to sleep in complete darkness (not counting the dim outside lights) and again, sleep paralysis. The dream is somewhat embarrassing but it scared me for some reason.
Pretty much there was this house, and it also had a bar and stuff, and I saw this girl, she was single and I really liked her apparently. So I went over and we ended up sort of kissing and other things...anyway.. and then all of a sudden this figure comes across the window and I can no longer move until it leaves. Then I tried to escape, but no one helped me, they all just gave me these evil looks. That's really all I remember from that. I now have to sleep with a light on again.

I should also note, that except those scary movies we watched at a very young age and paranormal activity (I was pressured into watching it with my cousin a few years ago, maybe at like...13-14 ish), I've never watched horror or paranormal anything. I can't stand it. It makes my anxiety go ballistic and I can't sleep well, and I'm scared to go anywhere even in the house at night alone.

I'm not sure that I totally believe in the paranormal, I'm not sure I want to. I believe in good and bad spirits, vibes, auras, and all that, but the thought of ghosts and shit scares me. What are your thoughts on all this?


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