Randoms by Rach

Day One - New Year's Resolutions

I've signed up for the 30 Day Blogging Challenge in January. I'm looking forward to it. It'll be good to write something every day.

Day One ~ What is the most fun you've had breaking a New Years resolution? And if you don't make resolutions, imagine making one, and then tell us how you'd most enjoy not keeping it.

New Year's Resolutions. Those soul destroying impositions we place on ourselves because we're never happy with who or what we are. That sounds really miserable and bah-humbug-ish, doesn't it? But I don't care. Yes, I've made resolutions in the past, and I've had some fun breaking them. But the fun is always replaced with guilt and self loathing.

But, to answer the question. About four or five years ago, after struggling to find the money to buy Christmas, I decided I would put £5 aside every week and not spend it for any reason whatsoever. It would, at least, allow buy our Christmas food and some presents. I had it all worked out. "Look, I'm being a proper grown-up," I believe I may have said to David. It was going to be great. We were going to have the best Christmas ever.

Then, one day in (I think) June, I was going for one of my daily power walks (another resolution - one I was sticking to really well). I walked along the high street, and I swear I heard my name being called from the other side of the street. That's when I saw it. In the window of a small boutique shop, the most beautiful handbag I've ever seen sat; shimmering. It was like it gave off a signal that only I could hear. I crossed the road. My feet had taken over my body. I had no choice. I stood before the shop window, taking in the beauty of the small, jade-green, leather-style bag with tan straps and a silver buckle. It hypnotised me, magnetised me. I glanced at the price tag—£125— and immediately my mind turned to the Christmas money. I couldn't use that. Could I?

I power walked even faster than normal all the way home; all the time, trying to figure out a way to get the money without David seeing. Not because I felt guilty and knew it was wrong, but because I didn't want him to stop me. (I am feeling shame now, whilst writing this.) Fortunately, David was engrossed in something he was reading on his iPad, so it was easy for me to take (I will not say steal) the money. Still no guilt at the time. All I could think was how beautiful the bag was. It can be my Christmas present to myself. Or David's present to me. That makes it okay. When I stepped through the door into the shop, an intoxicating flowery scent drifted toward me. The kind of scent that makes you nostalgic; although you don't know why. Adrenalin coursed through my veins as I counted out £125 and handed it over to the shopkeeper. When I held the bag, it made me feel warm and light. It really did. I knew we were meant to be together.

I practically skipped all the way home. I felt special, I felt loved, I felt invincible. I threw the front door open, and David was stood just the other side. His eyes fell to my bag straight away. "Where have you been?" he said.

I swallowed and felt the magic ebbing away. I proceeded to tell him how I fell in love with the bag, and that luckily it was on sale and only cost £40, so it was a bargain I couldn't ignore. I am not proud of this. And the conversation that finally came when he discovered we didn't have as much Christmas money as he thought was not so much fun.

But you see, that's why new year's resolutions shouldn't be made. We are setting ourselves up to fail. That said, this year I will lose weight. I will get fitter and healthier. I will write more. I think general plans are okay.