Daily Musings

Bullying Sucks

Prompt: Have you ever been bullied as a young person? Why can't we forget our childhood bullies? What do you think about bullying?

Well, yes I have. Justice (yes I'm exposing them, no I don't care. They fucked me over. I will not however, tell their race, because it doesn't matter. They're all people, and they all screwed me over. The end.) was in my....oh, I don't remember for sure but I think it was in my 4th grade class. We were supposed to be checking our partner to our left's paper, and he was it. He was refusing to give me his paper, so I got up, went over to his desk and held out my hand (yeah I had an attitude, but he was pissing me off.). And when he still refused, I just took it (I didn't touch him or anything. I was doing what I was supposed to. Should I have gotten the teacher instead? Maybe, but I didn't hurt him in any way.) and went back to my desk. He, in turn, came to my desk and said something along the lines of, "If you don't give me back my paper, I'm gonna kill you." He got a three day suspension.

Am I saying I'm a perfect person? Not at all, but it's just taking it too far.

Chase, a boy in my...it was in 6th grade I think...I came back from band and put my instrument down and he just pushed me. (I don't remember what happened before that, so maybe it was my fault, but I honestly don't remember instigating him or saying anything.) All I remember is I was pushed, and I fell.

Darius, (I think that's how you spell it and this was in junior high as well) would tease me relentlessly for dating my ex "boyfriend", or it was about my other male friend. I don't remember. He would flirt with me, but he was so...mean about it. I don't know. There's not a huge story here, he either just liked me too much (even though he had a girlfriend) or he hated me and just wanted me to get worked up.

Hannah, One day in the gym, I was sitting on the bleachers because I had sprained my ankle bad the day before or something like that. Anyway, I was sitting next to my friend and we were talking when Hannah came over and pulled my ponytail. I told her to stop and she did it again. So I yelled at her and sat back down. And when she did it a third time, I stood up, grabbed her arm and twisted it until she pretty much screamed. I probably could have broken her arm. And then she told on me! Her friends also started calling me names and trying to piss me off more. After gym class we all had to go to the principal's office and I won't lie, I was shaking and I'm pretty sure I cried because I was in pain and scared. They got threatened with alternative school. I had to go back to class.

Joseph, my ex "boyfriend" was nice until I found my sexuality in 2015. Long story short, he broke up with me, told me he couldn't support me, pretty much implied I was going to hell, blah, blah, blah. I don't care. I cried that day, but because of the things he said, not the fact he "broke up" with me.

I won't lie, I've threatened someone before because I don't think before I speak. I feel horrible about it and I'm so scared to talk about it. I of course didn't mean it and I didn't get in trouble, but I really really need to think before I speak. I think this is what a lot of people need to do. So I'm not trying to seem like an angel, but I don't think I've ever purposely bullied or threatened someone.

My take? If I could go back and take back what I said and did, I would in a heartbeat. I hate bullying. Bullying is a big part of suicides, self harm, eating disorders, etc. I don't know what, but we need to do something about it.

*mic drop*