Sandy Supposes....

Maidbot Bliss?

PROMPT: Creation Saturday! You're in charge of building the ideal robot---- the robot science fiction has been telling us for decades is eventually gonna exist. What is it going to look like, how is it going to function, and what roll will it play in your day-to-day existence... complimentary, or otherwise?

         You mean there may someday be something that actually listens to a mother? Be still my beating heart, and hyperventilating self. It's not for lack of repeated efforts that I have failed to program, train, mold, and otherwise influence my offspring. Nagging, cajoling, threatening,bribing, reasoning, they all fail to dent children's stubbornness. Since mothers must contend with selective hearing, and reactive reluctance in daily struggles, it would be life-affirming to have a robot to order around. No back talk, no whining, no 'why?', no 'maybe later', no negotiations, just pure, unadulterated obeisance. Oh, bliss! Not having to resort to "because I said so" would be less stressful.

          Now I'm not advocating that a robot replace my children. The little darlings are irreplaceable, and I'm somewhat responsible for their existence. I would like to feel what a drill sergeant feels when he/she issues an order, and it is executed immediately without hesitation, or question, or explanation. An agreeable machine that does as it's told... without aggravation, perspiration, raised blood pressure and voice, on my part.

         Essentially, my dream machine, er robot, is based upon Rosie from the cartoon 'The Jetsons.' Yes, I've always wished for a maid, but Rosie did tend to become frazzled. Could my 'maidbot' be more like the housekeeper, Alice from 'The Brady Bunch'? I need resilient, tough, and hard-working.

         I'm not a shallow person , so the maidbot's appearance isn't an issue. My other appliances function without my design input. As long as the vacuum cleaner continues to extract dirt from the floor, the fact that it's a grey, dowdy hunchback doesn't matter. My kettle is not a designer colour,or an ergonomic wonder, it simply boils water. I'm not sure if I want my maidbot to even look human-like. Resembling an animal would be strange. I can't wrap my mind around a grizzly bear-shaped machine humming, hovering in my home. Then again a robot that was simply stick-like, or that resembled a broom isn't quite right either. If it had a face with people features, I would expect it to speak, show emotion, react, or whatever. Hmmm...

         Okay, if my maidbot could answer, even in rudimentary fashion, I'd like for her to respond with a British accent aka R2D2. "Jolly good", or "roger that", or "certainly", or even "Bob's your uncle" would make a pleasant change.

         Now I realize my maidbot needs some sort of fuel source. Would I simply plug her into a wall socket, and recharge her with electricity every evening? Gas and oil could be messy, and she'll have enough cleaning to do every day. Batteries? Wood-fired steam? Solar power? Well, since this is clearly my fantasy robot, and I so obviously want her to be at my beck and call, I believe she should be powered by the empty excess calories that I inadvertently imbibe. Yes, cookies, cake, and muffins always seem to leave an impression, the noticeable weight gain kind. I could simply transfer my extraneous calories to the maidbot, a win-win. She could make use of the sugar rush, and I'd avoid fat accumulation.

         I suppose my maidbot needs a name. Maidbot Bliss?