Thoughts of a Mad Man

Fiction Post: On being a man.

A voice comes over the loudspeaker.


"Welcome to the Alchemy Lounge. The change is set in motion and soon, you will be a man. Nothing can be done to reverse the situation.


"You need to prepare yourself for the experience of male privilege. No longer will people hit on you when you want them to stop. Or when you don't. The job will entirely be yours. You will not be valued solely for your body any longer. You won't be valued for your body at all. Or your thoughts and feelings. In fact, if you have any, you'd probably better keep them to yourself. Men with feelings are relegated to a second class far below the one you are leaving behind.


"Loneliness will be a word you won't have any use for, any more than a fish has a word for 'wet.' Implicit rejection from every woman in the world. You get to choose of course, from whom you get explicit rejection. You want to be accepted, too bad. You'll get used to rejection." The voice laughs. "You're going to behave like a hammerheaded throwback.


Another voice comes over the loudspeaker. "Don't mind Angelo. He likes to mess with your mind. I mean, all that stuff is true, and it gets worse. But what he doesn't mention, is this funny little chemical we do."


Robin stands up and yells at the speaker. "Testosterone doesn't make that big a difference."


"Says the guy whose natural supply is a little shy." The new voice laughed. "The real 'male privilege' isn't money, prestige, respect. It's just ... testosterone, baby."


Angelo cut in. "Our clients have all the love they will ever need, growing right out of their endocrine system. No half-way sissy-boys in our fraternity."