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Printed from https://writing.com/main/books/entry_id/888785-What-happens-if-you-search-the-term-search-Research-Why
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by Sparky Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ · Book · Experience · #1944136
Some of the strangest things forgotten by that Australian Blog Bloke. 2014
#888785 added August 1, 2016 at 9:31am
Restrictions: None
What happens if you search the term "search"? Research? Why?
There comes a time, if you survive birth and live long enough, that you begin asking why?

And there comes another time, around 3:00 am usually that you begin to ask stupid questions out of sheer boredom. In the dark, it's easier to believe questions aren't so stupid, but in the light of day you regret, and wish Siri would have glitched and not responded, or gave you the short, irritated answer.

So it was that I asked of Grandma Google this:



I should have expected the irritable first hits that hit me fair in the kisser. Who could be so dumb? Is there no humour to be found in a darkened bedroom somewhere in Tasmania, Australia when the sun is still over the West coast of the USA?

Of course, Carl Barron asks about chicken salt on chicken. Not being such a comedic chap, I asked my wife what someone used to take the first pot mitt out of the oven when it was baked? But I'm not sure oven mitts are baked.

Then, when the first blacksmith guy or gal, the first one to realize you could shape metal using fire and hammer and anvil, what did they use to hold the first pair of tongs manufactured? And the first welder? How the heck did they weld it?

The first straight line? And back in the dawn of stuff, that first aboriginal who sat down to make fire by using a stick / friction? This was when there was only one stick I would assume? So what did he use to burn for firewood? Ok maybe that is really being stupid. More dumb than googling google apparently. Staff there must be a grumpy lot or maybe they just get sick of twits being smart alecs.

Have you ever looked at a metal lathe and wondered how did they cut the first threads to make the first one, or even back further, how did someone, a caveman person draw the first straight line? Did he get some human hair, make a long loop and place it around two sticks driven into the (hard, never tilled yet) ground and draw with another stick (one the fire starting guy left to him in his will? <<---- first will and testament!) thus creating the first reference line that every straight edge was made from to this day? Water was used to create a level plane, thus in Greek construction times or was it Roman road building, they could at least try to level out major bumps. (in advanced civilizations they then put the bumps back in the road (speed bumps))

Then there was the tongs to hold the tongs while the blacksmith hammered them into shape. Let's face it. Some things may never be known...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tongs
"According to Pirkei Avot, a classical Jewish text of the third century of the common era, the first pair of tongs were created by God right before God rested in the Seventh Day. The reasoning is that a blacksmith must use a pair of tongs in order to fashion a brand new pair of tongs. Accordingly, God must have provided humankind with the first pair of tongs."

I put the great Google to the test once again, searching for the unanswerable, and looking in vain for that vestige of venerable humour but to no avail. Venting was only available in blog form here.

How did the first Taxi driver get to work? Seems reasonable to a curious convener. There must have been unctuous unavailable cabbies long before uttering Uncle Uber was even understood.
If I knew how to pronounce Uber I'd be curiously cured of curiosity.

Is cannabis chocolate legal?
https://www.tripadvisor.com.au/ShowTopic-g274707-i96-k8493527-Do_the_cannabis_ch...

Can pots and lollypops have pot in them?
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/05/17/us/new-challenge-for-police-finding-pot-in-lol...

And speaking of Google, what DOES the feeling lucky button really do? Here was me thinking Google was generously giving other search engines a crack at providing answers to dumb questions.
https://www.quora.com/What-does-Googles-Im-Feeling-Lucky-feature-do

Was the first home computer homemade? Woz said yes it was.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/3348688/The-man-who-invented-the-home-comp...

What did I-like-trains people like before trains were invented? Google doesn't seem to do irony.
https://www.google.com.au/?gws_rd=ssl#safe=strict&q=what+did+i-like-trains+peopl...

Also, why are salt and pepper always together?
http://www.marksdailyapple.com/pepper-and-salt-varieties/#axzz4FmE2ZxZq

Or more to the recent point, why is there no Himalayan Pepper? Why is there no Tasmanian BUSHPEPPER folks? Do you know what it is? It is delectable, is what it is. DeLISHious.
http://www.pepperberry.net.au/

Ashgrove bush pepper cheese. See if you can get some. It's mmm mmmmm!

http://www.ashgrovecheese.com.au/online-store/ashgrove-bush-pepper/

Unless Google is cheesed off again. Dumb questions!

What if we tried asking stuff that Google staff might see?
For example. Are Google staff hot?

https://www.google.com.au/search?q=Why%3F&oq=Why%3F&aqs=chrome..69i57j69i58j69i6...

Or, Are Google questions seen by staff? The top hit for this was...
http://www.afr.com/leadership/management/hiring/the-banned-google-interview-ques...

Getting wayyyyy back to WHY? Folks seem to be carrying on tonight (Australian time where it's already 30/7/2016) claiming the 29/7/2016 is the end of the world. NASA concedes there is a pole reversal happening to the Earth and yet aren't too concerned. Add this together with news that the sun is undergoing a zero flare time x 400 years? Give or take the odd decade or two, or century maybe, ok maybe it's not this millennium. And also, there is this little matter of a mini ice age that statistics strongly suggest is bearing down upon us. Our children will have to face this by 2030, they say.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/07/29/end-of-the-world-doomsday-believers-p...

Well, why? Why get all worried about it. Because why? Mathew 24:36, if you read it and believe it, refers to words Jesus said about the last times. This would come after great tribulation. Lots of stuff going on. One of those things is that the sun will be darkened and the moon not give her light. Does that fit with the sun doing it's rostered decade off / cooling party thingy?
Oh, and his Father is the only one who knows the time and day when this all takes place. Sounds reasonable if you'd made everything yourself that you wouldn't divulge specific details about it to every Tom, Dick and Harry. Some things not even our sons know. It seems to me the whole idea is that we aim to be ready, whatever time the end comes. And to be ready is to read the book of how to get ready, and do what it says in there. That's what I believe.

There is a man who seems to be giving us tuition on how to survive a major Earthly Upset. An apocalypse scenario. And perhaps he can answer what tongs you use when making the first pair of tongs ever.



Yes, he's doing it. Not saying it. Without planning to, perhaps he's the only one who really gets it. If crazy things do happen with the magnetic system of the Earth, and stuff going on with the sun's workings, who knows what will happen with everyone's electrical gear? As an Auto Sparky, I know how devastating it can be to hook up a car battery with the polarity the opposite way to what it should be. Oh dear.

Things may really get...

Sparky

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