Keeping my Sanity

Writing Practice - Dialogue

Practicing third person and dialogue, exercise from The Creative Writing Students Handbook.





“Hey, mister.  You a school teacher?”





“No, I am not.”





“What are ya then?”





David ducks his head and walks faster, the car is just round the next bend now and he sighs as he catches sight of her.





“Whoah” David stumbles as a bike skitters across the road.





“No! What did you do?”





David rushes to his car, kicks the bike out the way and checks the damage.





“It’s just a car, pizza man.”





George laughs and runs over to grab his bike before pizza man can stamp on it.





“He’s a delivery guy for Domino’s” he yells back at Fred.








I always seem to write in first person, Mary-Sue anyone....  Going to practice some third person writing and jumping from different view points  and lots of dialogue!





Continuing on with the writing practice exercises, action scenes - with and without dialogue, from different perspectives. 





A car sped by, blowing road dust into David’s eyes.  Blinking he wiped the dirty tears away, huddling into his coat against the wind.  Rain started to fall, smacking the pavement and dirtying his pants.  He could see the mud splatters up the back of his legs in his head and slowed down, placing his feet carefully and avoiding the growing puddles.





A horn blasted, another horn sounded and then a curse thrown out a car window.  David heard the screeching and the tinkle of smashed glass before the lorry cart-wheeled round the bend.  The driver was hunched over the wheel, the windscreen already shattered.  It ploughed into the pizza shop, taking out the counter and the girl standing behind it, Jean was quick and dived to the side.  Finally it came to a stop, hitting the wall and bouncing backwards into a circle of abandoned cars.





The driver was now halfway out the lorry, his body hanging through the windscreen and over the smoking bonnet.  The abandoned cars owners rushed over, some on their mobiles dialling 999 and some talking to friends, hysterical.  David didn’t move, the rain and mud splatters forgotten as he looked at the collapsing pizza shop.  A wet sound escaped his lips as Jean dragged herself across the floor, her legs at an awkward angle behind her.  Nobodies legs should bend like that, David thought.











“See you soon honey”





“Love you”





“Love you, too”





Jean hung up and hid her phone under the till.  Straightening her apron she flipped the shop sign over to ‘Open’ and retreated back behind the counter.





“Jean, what are you doing here?”





Mr Bailey squeezed himself through the back door and behind the counter, a wad of bills clenched in his fist.





“Shouldn’t Sofia be here?”





“She, she didn’t feel well”





“Is that right.  Well, I’m sure the extra hours will be helpful eh?”





Mr Bailey winked at her, smirking he hurried out the front door, the bell dinging, celebrating his exit. As always Jean wondered where he was off to with all that cash, she told herself it was none of her business, that curiosity killed the cat, besides he always paid her on time and sometimes a little extra if she had helped open or close up for him.





Jean stared out the window, David would be here soon, she liked when they were on shift together.  It really wasn’t about the extra money, it was nice but not as nice as spending some extra time on her own with David.  The late shift was always the best one too, no dinner with his Mum tonight either.  Jean glanced at the clock, she would be on her way to Bingo right about now.





Jean heard the screech of tyres and blasting horns and started to walk around the counter to the front window, wanting to see what was going on.  The lorry appeared outside the shop and smashed through the front window, Jean registered the cracking of glass and the blaring of a horn as it grew closer.  The mythical survivor instinct kicked in and Jean flung herself sideways as the lorry smashed through the counter and into the back wall. 





Everything was noise and then everything was quiet, the last tinkle of glass slid away and the horn stopped blaring.  Jean watched as the lorry slowly rolled back out the shop front, glass crunching beneath its tyres.  People started moving outside, running towards the lorry and the shop front, the world seemed to move in slow motion.  Jean couldn’t get her legs to work, panicked she used her arms to drag herself forward, only thinking of David.














“The normal please, love.”





Ben printed the ticket off and watched old Molly skilfully rip it from the machine, slender hand reaching easily through the small gap in the screen. 





“Good luck tonight, Moll’s.  You must be due a big win by now.”





“It’s a long time coming, love.”





Ben watched Molly hobble down the aisle, her walking stick banging into each seat she passed, the passengers jumped every time.  Ben chuckled, he was sure she did it on purpose, to wake up the youth of today.





He pulled away, onto the main street, the other stop was only a couple of minutes away, he wished they would do away with it.  He could already see a crowd of people there, waiting, arms outstretched and waving up and down like monkeys.





A car shot out in front of him, horn blaring, the driver hung out the window screaming obscenities.  Ben slammed on the breaks but the bus was too big, he hit the back of the car.  Screams came from behind him as passengers were flung out their seats, he could hear the thud of bodies as they hit the floor.  The bus pushed the car into a lamp post, the metal crunching and glass flying everywhere.  Finally the bus stopped, the car sandwiched in the middle, the driver hanging lifelessly out the window.





Ben could see people starting to lift themselves up off the floor, whispering turned into shouting as they clambered over one another to look out the window.  Ben was relieved when he spotted Molly, sitting on the floor and pulling herself up, she looked up and gave him a nod.  That old gal was a tough.  Screeching tyres brought Ben’s attention back to the road, he tried to work out where it was coming from, the road ahead of them was empty. 





“Drive!”





Ben turned towards the voice and watched as the lorry fishtailed round the corner, catching the back of the bus and sending it spinning.  Ben whacked his foot on the brake and closed his eyes, he held the wheel firmly.  He heard the bang and crunch of metal before he felt it vibrating up his arms, the bus tipped sideways.  He watched as Molly fell back down and the rest of the passengers fell on top of her.