Doves On Distant Oaks

Agape Love

We throw around the word "love" a lot. Of everything written in the Bible, it is the central them: God is love, God's love was so great He sent his son, Jesus tells us to love our neighbor as yourself—love is painted with broad brushstrokes all over the canvass of the entire Bible. But what do we truly know of love?

Part of the problem is that we only have one word for love. The New Testament was written in Greek, a language that had four words for love: philio (brotherly), eros (passionate), stergein (family), and agape (unconditional). Eros is not mentioned in the Bible, and both philio and stergein are mentioned only occasionally. When we read the word love in the bible it is almost always agape love.

Agape love is the love that God has for us, that he imparted us with, and with which he expects us to relate to one another. We struggle with the unconditionally of love because, being sinful beings, we tend to center on our own selfish desires. Even the good feeling we get for doing a wonderful thing for someone else is a selfish payoff. It's sometimes the only reason we participate in philanthropic activities—to make ourselves feel good. If God wants us to engage in agape love, its important to understand what it is.

The best way I have discovered to explain it is through the following ...

Imagine you know a married couple and one spouse is never around for anything— let's say it's him for convenience, though it could be either. Sometimes he goes off for weeks, or months, or even years without saying a word. Often he is seen in the company of other women and when he gets in rowdy company has a foul mouth. He spends money on frivolous things like it's going out of style, though his wife does all the work. He cheats, he steals, he lies as if it's second nature. He tells his wife that he wants to stay married for the convenience, wants her to take care of him when he's sick, and always work to provide for him ... but that he doesn't really love her. His wife tells him that's okay, he doesn't have to love her in order for her to love him. You'd think he was a pretty despicable character and his wife a fool for continuing to love him when she should give him the heave-ho.

The simple truth is this: that is exactly the kind of unconditional love God has for us. He tells us we don't have to love him in order for Him to love us. Look around at the world today. There are people who say he doesn't exist and yet, God continues to love them. There are those who curse Him and He, likewise, continues to love them.

We struggle with unconditional love because it goes against human nature. Yet, it not only benefits others, but serves our own interests as well—not from any selfish desire, but for our own health and wellness. People filled with hate, envy, bitterness, unforgiveness, and so on, only bring harm and misery upon themselves. The path to happiness is unconditional love, because it brings peace of mind.

God, by His very nature, doesn't exhibit unconditional love. He IS unconditional love. He understands the peace that comes along with it. The only way to have a true relationship with God is through that kind of love. Everything else is a faint imitation … a shadow of agapē love.

We love because he first loved us. Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.

– 1 John 4:19-21

Keywords: Love, Unconditional, God

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