Soundtracked

Lists, Day 12: Firsts.

Firsts. I like how this is categorized in "Invalid Item"  as "History"...even though most of it isn't really important or meaningful now so much as maybe it once was. Funny how history and remembering stuff works like that. Don't get me wrong; some of this is meaningful in its own way, I suppose. It's amazing sometimes how much I remember when I consider everything I would probably need to be reminded of. Anyway, I should probably get on with this in lieu of possibly digging myself any deeper holes.

First...

1) Teacher: Mrs. Ayer, I think. I'm not totally sure on the spelling. She was my kindergarten teacher, and we shared a double room with Mrs. Bayer...and I only remember this because their names rhymed. I remember all of my elementary and middle school teachers, actually...and if pressed I could probably rattle off my junior high and high school schedules too (but that'd take awhile, and really, who cares?).

2) Job: Besides paper routes? Right after I turned 15 I started working at Arby's in the Galleria Mall. My aunt was an assistant manager (who eventually became the head manager) and got a couple of us jobs there. I think I spent almost a year and a half there. Typical fast food job, and because I was so young I could only work three or four hour shifts. But the mall was super busy, especially on weekends and holidays. And I love my Canadian friends, but y'all terrorized our mall!

3) Kiss: Awww, little Debbie. So adorable. The friend of a friend's sister. She was dating this jerkoff, and I'll steal your honey like I stole your bike  . He got on my bus, followed me home and wanted to fight me because he was a tough guy hardass...and because I was on the wrestling team he thought he could just try and shoot a takedown. Bitch, this is a street fight! I just started pummeling his back and the back of his head. Wasn't nothin'. But Debbie...man, I loved her. Young love. I was 14, she was 12...we would hold hands and touch lips between classes. Silly kids.

4) Real Kiss: Heather from the neighborhood. Knew her...forever. Beautiful. I was probably 14, maybe 15? And she was only a year or two younger. We were hangin' out and decided we were bf/gf, like kids do sometimes, I guess. And that first day, when it was time for us to go home, we hugged and went in for the kiss, and it just...happened. I was so used to not kissing a girl like that that it was a surprise. The next day in school, between classes, I went in for the kiss thinking it'd be the same thing...it was decidedly not ok because we were in a crowded hallway full of people, as opposed to an empty fire hall parking lot that doesn't even exist anymore (only in Buffalo will they destroy a parking lot to build houses )...anyway, we were not bf/gf much longer after that.

5) Boobs And Stuff: Ellen had a Nintendo and lived a block over, in the house next to the house behind mine. There was a cool little shortcut between a fence that I could use to get to her house instead of going all the way around the block. I also slipped her a spare key to my house, and when my mom left for work in the morning she came over on my 16th birthday to make me crepes for breakfast...dressed in lingerie. But she had a boyfriend, so she didn't wanna have sex. I understood, because I'm a silly boy.

6) Time: Lynn was a Catholic school cheerleader...her and some of her friends showed up at one of my school's dances with friends of some of my friends. We were all talkin', and then a slow song came on so I took a chance and asked her to dance. We started makin' out on the dance floor...and I asked her what her name was when we stopped because I'm also a stupid boy. So we started dating, and my friends were amazed that I was with a cheerleader. We were both 16-year-old virgins, nervous and close. It was actually a really good experience, to be honest...not like horror stories I'd heard and imagined (although it wasn't the most romantic of settings either). It was everything after that that drove the relationship to shit...I became a jerk, and she very systematically dumped me at my junior prom because she was about to have heart surgery soon or was seeing someone else from her school, or both. It was both.

7) Car: I didn't get my license until I was...19, I think? Long story. When I was in college the first time around, I was also working at the Arby's by my house (I know...I had multiple Arby's stints ). I couldn't get promoted unless I had a car; couldn't get a car unless I was promoted. So I got my license and financed a $4000 '89 Plymouth Horizon. I'll say this...it was from one of those little "buy here pay here" corner lot dealers, and it was clean as fuck. My youngest brother, who was four at the time, walked with me down to the place to pick it (it was only a couple blocks). He instantly wanted to ride in the hatchback, so I figured "Why the fuck not?" and I went through the Burger King drive-thru with the kid in the back, unbuckled and not in a car seat or anything. First time owning a vehicle and I've broken all safety laws.

8) Concert: I was 10 or 11, and it was the Monkees' reunion tour in the eighties (without Mike Nesmith). My aunt in Connecticut, who flew us out every summer for a week, took us. 'Weird Al' Yankovic opened, and it was on one of those rotating stages, which was really cool.

9) Adult Concert: Summer of '94...Metallica, with Danzig and Suicidal Tendencies at Darien Lake. Went with a new neighborhood friend and my best friend from high school, who had just finished up his first year at VMI. It was pretty amazing...years later I would run into so many people who had also said they were at that show.

10) Real Job: After deciding I didn't want to work in fast food anymore, my aunt used her mall connections to get me an interview at Koenig Sporting Goods, a regional company that basically sold sneakers and workout clothes and exercise equipment (like a smaller Dick's  ). I was hired as an Assistant Manager Trainee, and my first day was Black Friday...the busiest shopping day of the year (in the busiest local mall). My job that day was to hold a clipboard and manage the line for people wanting to try on sneakers. Process that...managing a line of people who wanted to try on shoes. Are stores ever that busy anymore? I haven't shopped in a mall on Black Friday in at least 15 years, so I don't even know.

Anyway, now you know more about me than you probably ever cared to know. Sorry/not sorry about being so personal. I didn't really know how else to attempt this "History" idea.