The Treatment Program of Absurdity: 1

The First Night

I arrived back at the core house for dinner, in which Kelly Cork was the house manager for that night; she was a tall woman who had blue eyes, in which you could see a blare when she was upset, and she had long blonde hair. For my first night, she was kind enough to pick macaroni-and-cheese for me, since it was my favorite.
I then had the displeasure of meeting all of the retards who I was living with; well, actually, only two of them were retards. Peter Ring was a skinny, irksome 20-year-old man who had the face of a hideous 40-year-old man; he also had dark skin, a slicked-back haircut, and he had a very weak accent. Joe Garson was a 20-year-old germinal fat-ass with long hair like a hippie; Joe did nothing, but lie in bed all day, playing cheap video games while looking at Hentai; he had an eccentric sense of humor as well. There was a 21-year-old student named George Palmer - a tall, slightly overweight figure, who had a fine white hi-top fade - who had no respect for authority, which was amusing; but he had also been driven crazy by being at the program for three years. There was also Clovis Armstrong; who was a 6’0 tall 21-year-old man, who had an orange undercut hairstyle.
Peter was whining about how he wanted to watch Teen Mom instead of eating dinner. After whining enough, Kelly told Peter to shut up, and he then started crying. Kelly yelled at Peter to leave the table, but Peter instead sat down on the couch and began watching Teen Mom. Kelly came in and told him “NO TV,” since he can’t behave himself at the table, and she reached for the remote, but Peter grabbed it, and said, “No, it is mine, you can’t have it.” As Kelly tried to grab the remote from him, Peter shouted, “DON’T TOUCH ME; THAT IS INNAPROPRIATE; YOU ARE A WOMAN; IT IS INNAPROPRIATE.”
Joe loathed Peter with a passion, though he hung out with him because there was no one else in the program to hang out with. Peter claimed to have a deep crush on Joe, and would act golly in his presences. Joe would often humor Peter into doing stupid things, like singing show tunes, to watch him turn into a buffoon for his amusement. Two things Joe would like to do in order to satisfy his sadism were watch Peter go crazy, and put disgusting pictures on his computer, in which he would hook up to the TV.
After dinner was over, I went up to his room to finish unpacking. I had the attic room, which was a double, but currently unoccupied by a second recipient. Living in the attic wasn’t so bad; when Kelly asked me how I felt, I said, “Anne Frank lived in an attic for two years, so I think I can do the same.” In order to distract myself from the reality I was in, I went downstairs to play chess with Clovis; he played until 11:00 at night, and then went to bed.
I was woken up at 1:00 A.M., to the noise of Peter blasting a Justin Bieber song in his room. Joe barged into Peter’s room, shouting, “TURN OFF THAT f***ING MUSIC,” where Peter began crying, “No, I don’t want to, make me.” Afterwards, Joe shouted, “DON’T GRAB MY f***ING ASS,” and Peter stated, “No, it is my ass, you are my bitch.” Right before Joe punched him, a lowlife overnight staff member with a voice like Mickey Mouse, Randy Horn - who looked like a bear that had flattop hair; and wore gym clothes to work - barged into the house and, out of anger, decided to make everyone come downstairs, so he could yell at them; In reality, Randy was angry because he was interrupted from looking at his porn. At Great Ascendency, overnight staff were in charge of acting as security incase of an impending occurrence while all of the staff members were home: the three overnight staff members were Winfield Reese, Kyle Minor, and Randy Horn. Even though I was in shock over the situation, George wasn’t. When I spoke with George the next day, he told me some stories about his stay at Great Ascendency, which made me realize how nothing could shock him:
A while back, there was a kid, Jason, who really liked animals. One day, while at the girls’ core house, for some reason I do not even know, he was alone with a staff member’s dog, Polker. Jason pulled down his pants and underwear, where he began masturbating to the dog; he proceeded to rub peanut butter on his balls, and had Polker lick it off. What Jason didn’t realize, or didn’t care about, was that security cameras were watching, and the person watching them was Kelly Cork, who apparently went into shock. He was shortly kicked out of the program, but the straw that broke the camels back was apparently when he wrote a book about his fantasy of having sex with a dragon.
There was another Harry, Harry Reid, who was a fat kid with severe boundary issues. Harry Reid spent most of his time sitting downstairs in his underwear, looking at porn, where Priscilla Pool would tell him to go upstairs and change; he would just grab his crotch, as he did with all of the attractive female staff, and would exclaim, “Shifting my balls, shifting my balls.” For some reason, he had such bad taste in women that he had a crush on Lily Kilo. One day, he knocked on the door of the girl’s core house to see her; she told him to go away, but instead, he grabbed her boobs; he was punished by not being allowed to go into the same building as Lily for about two months. One day, while at Oliver North Community College, Harry went up to another girl, grabbed her tits, and was subsequently arrested by security. I witnessed him being taken through the hallway, crying, where I, in shock, turned my face, out of embarrassment, to hope no one would realize us as being in the same program. When the Taxi US driver, who was supposed to pick him up, noticed Harry had been detained, he called the program and exclaimed, “Hey, this is Taxi US, we can not pick up Harry right now because he is being detained by police at the college,” where Tom responded by saying “thank you.” Harry went to Costco with Jared, one time, in which Harry was subsequently arrested for shoplifting, and he pinned it on Jared, since Harry used Jared’s backpack, which got Jared permanently banned from Costco. This incident caused Harry to be expelled from the program. Harry was packing his stuff with the help of Priscilla; he went up to everyone in the house and exclaimed, “Guys, I learned something today”, but they all just ignored him. When his dad showed up, he stated, “Daddy I can explain, I um well I kind of did but is cool because I I I can I,” where his dad stated, “Harry, get in the car.”
There was one last story where a crazy kid, Luke Banks, thought the spaghetti was poisoned, so he went crazy; he got naked, and than he decided to crawl across the street in that manner. A truck almost hit him, but stopped right in time. Once again, Kelly and the students at the core house all witnessed this whole ordeal.