Hey, life? Are you kidding me?

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can, um maybe not

PRE-WARNING:THIS IS MY SECOND TIME TO TYPE THIS SO WHO KNOWS HOW MUCH SENSE I WILL MAKE.

goldenautumnhad this challenge in her blog that got me thinking:

Have you ever created a list of the things you are proud of in your life? Create a list of ten things...

Why did I accept this challenge? I have no real idea. First off, I'm in no mental state to probably form a sentence. I am sitting beside my 46 year old husband who had a stroke 2 or is it 3 days ago? My mind is a numbing fog. Secondly, I am not very good at recognizing things I do well. According to others, I minimalize it or some other nonsense. Well, here I go giving it a shot.

1. I am proud of the job I've done helping my son become the amazing young man he is. Of course, I don't think it was all my doing, but I am proud of the example I set for him and providing him with consistency and support to have conthough,e to be the person he truly is whether the world is watching or not. To let those you love know that you value and appreciate them. And being able to write an impressive essay!

2. To have a strong command of the English language.?.? How ironic is it to question the wording of that sentence? Whether it is a sarcastic/witty comment or comeback, bs-ing my way through an essay on a topic I know little about, or writing something decent that gives me a sense of accomplishment and maybe somewhere in the world someone else enjoys too.

3. Being valedictorian of my high school graduating class makes me proud. I do always downplay it though, because I went to a small school with only 64 in our graduating class. But a 4.0 is a 4.0. Honestly though, it is more about setting a goal and seeing it through. I'm not one of those genius people who is smart in every area. I had to put in some work and quite a bit of kissing up. :)

4. Conquering well-built, industrial-strength, emotional walls. With much encouragement and even more patience from my wonderful husband, I found the strength, faith, and desire to tear down these walls brick by brick that had served as my fortress against potential pain, rejection, and disappointment. I am proud that I trusted enough and loved myself enough to take the risk so that I was not just existing but allowing myself to once again live, feel worthy of love, and actually just quit being emotionally vacant.

5. I'm proud that I have gotten halfway through this. Lol no, that's cheating..true but cheating. I'm proud that at the age of 46 I've learned new skills. Mainly, it is because I was given a home ec class to teach which is hilarious in itself. But, I have learned to sew by hand and machine, cook more than 2 meals, check the oil and tire tread, etc. Etc. Etc. I can make a pretty decent pillow and on a good day you might get your name embroidered on it.

6. I am proud of my baton twirling accomplishments of yonder years. Seriously, YouTube competitive baton twirling; I think you will be surprised. Anyway, I'm proud of my accomplishments in it, the sacrifices I made to do something I loved. Being a feature twirler at OSU and later ASU. And finally I'm proud that I was able and chose to pass the knowledge, sportsmanship, goal setting, and love of twirling to many kids for many years.

7. This seems more like a thing I like about myself rather than a proud thing but I'm running out of ideas so lets count it. I'm proud of myself for trying to bring a little happiness to others. It might just be a specific compliment or a note scribbled on a post-it, but I think it's important for people to be reminded that they aren't invisible. Who knows? Maybe they will do the same for someone else who might really need a smile that day.

8. I'm proud I loved to color before coloring was cool or the latest money making research based trend for adults. Save your research money, I could have told you what a great destressor, imagination building, sense of accomplishment tool it was for years and years. I have colored all my life -from the smurfs to the good old simple animal coloring book. And I still do. The only difference now is that people don't look at me like I'm crazy.

9. I'm proud to find out that I'm stronger than I thought I was. Moving to a real farm with real gates to open whether the temperature is 105 or 15 below. Realizing insects and mice might come in the house when I'm home alone e so I have to deal with it. The hot water and heat might not always work and you might have to boil water to do the dishes. And I can survive with a real smile ony face. I can see the blessings around me and appreciate them. I may not be Annie Oakley but I'm no city slicker either.

10. Is it cheating if I ask for suggestions from people? I guess I didn't read the fine print of the rules.:) shucks! I'm proud to be an American but I didnt really have anything to do with that decision. I'm proud that when Bruce and I picked a name from the angel tree at church for Christmas we worked very hard to make the gifts personalized and special as well as useful. I made a pillow from ninja turtle fabric with the child's name embroidered in the corner. We researched to get the most for what we could afford. We tried to focus on the little things that would not only light up a 4 year old's face but also his parents' faces from witnessing his excitement.

Whew. I finally finished... For the second time.

It was definitely thought provoking. Thank you, golden autumn!

I'm proud to be me,
Audra