Still Figurin' Out Who I Think I Am

This one's about gnothi-ing all ye faithful.

"Since 'know thyself' is a highly overrated piece of wisdom which, at times, proves to be impossible, what do you think of those biography writers who claim to have the insight into someone else’s psyche? Shouldn’t that biography book be considered a form of fiction?"

Good evening folks...I gotta tell ya, I was pretty fired up last night when I saw this prompt. I couldn't wait to tear into it...of course, I was laying in bed half-dazed on my nightly Ambien cocktail trying not to fall asleep with my laptop open to SportsCenter, so I was in no position to do anything about it. And I've had a bit of a busy day for me, which only means it's been festering in my head until now. I ain't mad about it, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little off-put by it. Hear me out when I explain.

This is my experience with know thyself...which in Greek is gnothi seauton. That, among many other things, was drilled into my head in my early adult years.

In the late nineties through the early part of the 21st century, I spent almost five years working for a local consumer electronics company   in Western New York. At the time they had several stores in the area, a t-shirt and jeans offshoot that morphed into a high-end fashion post  , and mall stores in places like Novi, MI; King Of Prussia, PA; and throughout NY down the I-90. It was kinda a big deal there; I don't know if it still is, but I made a lot of friends and met some really cool people and learned a shit-ton about life during that time.

The owner could be really hands-on when he wanted to be, and when he needed to be. Like a lot of mid-level managers, I clashed with him once or twice...we made him a lot of money in the trenches, and he paid us respectably, both financially and with knowledge that you never realize you might need until later on in life. I'm thankful for the time I spent in his little empire.

He wrote the company employees' handbook himself, and it's honestly a piece of art that I wish I still had...filled with the basics of what was expected, and supplemented with philosophical tidbits, reading recommendations, and various quotes on business and success. Even after I left the company I'd find myself going through it every so often. He went so far as to get an ISBN number   for it, which is saying something (about it, and him and his ego...). This man was known for coming into an office and smashing a glass-topped desk with a golf club and firing people on the spot for yawning at his mandatory Saturday Morning Meetings, but he'd also reward long-time loyal employees with with $1000 on their 10-year anniversaries- in cash, as a taut roll of twenty dollar bills, which was impressive to look at. Dude was crazy at times, but he was legit...you don't make approximately $14 million a year in sales by only being half an asshole.

But anyway, those Saturday meetings...when I started, they weren't a big deal to me because I was in the repair facility as a customer service rep and they were mostly for retail (except for The Big Meeting every January, held at the University Of Buffalo on a Sunday night for the entire organization). When I shifted over into retail, yeah, you had to be there, because everyone worked Saturdays if you were at the flagship location. And every Saturday we had a handbook quiz...twenty questions about anything that could be in that binder (my copy was in a 3-ring binder, filled with a thicker, high-quality paper...also impressive as far as school supplies go). I don't remember what the consequences were if you didn't do well on the quiz, but then again you were not supposed to not do well. I wish I had a horror story about someone failing, or getting more than one or two wrong, or not having the exact wording of a specific quote, but I don't. It was ingrained in us that this was a premier company to work for, and we were expected to treat our positions as such, and if that meant knowing the handbook in and out, then that's just one of the things we had to do to retain our gainful employment.

And that's where gnothi seauton comes in, as there is a small section dedicated to it. To this day, I know the phrase and what it means. I no longer remember how the handbook words the reasoning for it being a part of our Advantage Co. existence, but I know it has played a role in my life on many occasions...I think for the most part we all want to know who we are in terms of defining ourselves in ways that other people can see and process who we are in our interactions. You may think this is overrated, and maybe it is, but that does not dilute its importance. In retail it is our job to understand, believe, and sell a product to someone else who may not be as knowledgeable about something as we are. In life, we are all selling ourselves- who we are, what we know, how we relate- to our family, friends, random people we come across in daily activities. We always want to put our best out there on display for others, whether we know we're doing it or not, or whether we're so used to doing it for so long that we don't even know it. We want people to see us for who we really are in our best looks, and it's up to you to decide if you want to buy in or pass.

Facebook is an excellent example. Everyone posts their best pictures, their favorite things, etc., but you're only seeing a small percentage of that person's life. Until you interact in real time, what you're getting is only attained through what you see in edited snippets. The more layers you peel back, the better you are of understanding if you're dealing with an orange or an onion. My position is that most of us want to be oranges, but we are who we are, and there are a hell of a lot of stank nasty onions out there disguised as sweet ass oranges. We tend to get so wrapped up in shining our flaky onion skin, hoping for something or someone to bite into it, that we miss the whole point...our cores reveal so much more about us that the rinds conceal.

I'm an onion. It's taken me a long, long time to get to that conclusion. And I'll admit, I often try my damnedest not to be. But in a world that often only wants to see things in black/white terms, maybe that isn't so bad. I know who I am, and I can work on it from there. I can be the sweetest variety of onion, just like any orange that isn't scientifically modified can have seeds in every section. And if that orange-type doesn't want you to see their seeds, you won't know until it's too late, much like an onion doesn't burn your eyes until you cut it.

And how does this relate to the prompt? Straight facts, homie. Know your sources. Know where the story is coming from. In a biographical sense, is the book written by a guy who knows a guy who heard some stuff about the subject, or is the author a trusted reteller of actual events? And does that even matter, given the rise in authorized/unauthorized accounts? Who do you trust? Someone who hears a bunch of rumors and writes a book, or someone who pays another person to tell you what you want to hear while leaving out the shitty parts? Is leaving out the gritty details of ones' life still the truth, still the story worth reading? Does that make the glossy autobiography a work of fiction then also? Who then is more credible...the rumor mill pillager, or the subject him/herself? Paradox city, in that section of Amazon or your local library.

It boils down to you and the kind of person you are and your expectations. Do you want to know everything about someone who is important enough to have a book published about them? Are you willing to take the good with the bad? Whose account do you wish to gain the most information from? Why is this important to you? I'm not physics-smart, but I know enough to know that for every action there is an opposite or inverse reaction or something like that. For everything one person believes, there will be someone else who believes the opposite. For every snotty text, there is an anonymous charitable donation. For all the broken hearts, there is peace in nations of believers. Perception is nasty that way, and sometimes there's not much that can be done about it. Sometimes people are born to see things a certain way, and no amount of factual information will stop them...while others are willing to take everything with a grain of salt before turning assumptions into real feelings. And if you know who you are- if you know as much as you can know about yourself- you're ahead of the game. Sadly, unless you're actually there in experiencing what the general public only longs to read about salaciously, there are three sides to every story...mine, yours, and the truth. And finding the truth is like finding an orange in an onion...but reclassifying every biography in those terms would raise all sortsa hell for librarians and booksellers worldwide, which no one has the time for in an era of fiscal cutbacks and the corporatization of everything having to do with thoughts, feelings, and reactions. It takes balls to stand out among the general acceptance of whatever's out there...you have to know whether you can stand it, how much of it you can take, and where it sits in your own personal grave you started digging once you started caring about something/someone.

Also filed in the recess of my wanderings today was the second day's prompt for "Invalid Item" ...an event where I am supposed to bastardize another Christmastime holiday standard. And while I'm generally up for this kind of tomfoolery, I have to admit that for all the time I've had to ponder this, I'm gonna straight up make this up on the fly. Today's quote-unquote inspiration is "O Come, All Ye Faithful"  , and I'm coming faithfully in the best Spammer tradition I can. I'm not good at trying to write terrible things, even though I've written terrible things. First, let's get in the mood...I'm not a Bad Religion die-hard, but I need something like this to instigate my attempt at Spamaliciously excitable writings of things.

"Let us adore him!"

You Sheeple

Oh! Come, all you sheeple,
self-righteous and indignant.
"Look at me now,
posting my opinions."
Like and subscribe here...like and subscribe here...like and subscribe heeeeee-reeeeahh
or get off of my page.

Guns and Trump and bible-thumping
should control your woo-ooomb.
I saw it so it must be true
on the internet-et...on the internet-et...on the interwebs
christ, you heathens!

<lots of rhetoric that don't make sense>
Sing 'cuz you think Obama's a mess.
I don't have no proof to stand on
so I'mma just bluster...and not make sense...you don't need sennnnnnse
when you wanna be king.

Listen, all you sheeple...
eat a bag of dicks for your time.
It's better than posturing.
No one cares about you...not them, nor him nor her nor you!
You're just a turd.

I guess I'm fortunate enough to live close enough to a hospital that normal people can walk to and from, and because today was a nice day by typical December standards (meaning I could wear shorts in public with no fear of weather retribution) I stopped at my local 7-11 on the way home to see if it's still true that you can get a large pizza for $5 with your SNAP card. And you can...if you like a pizza that tastes suspiciously like a certain national brand of frozen pizza that you can't quite identify (totally..nuggets of pepperoni with thick pepperoni slices, and that sauce...yep, damn). Worth it for me in my situation personally, but I wouldn't recommend it for anyone else- you can't front on a local place's pies- but dammit if I ever get so hard up for pizza, now I know I can get some if I can make the effort to get there. And now I'mma gnaw on some cold-ass pizza because of my struggles, because I can. So many ughs, and so much yeah son.

The Advantage Co. Christmas parties were legendary...done up at a fancy chain hotel ballroom, open bar, retail zombies allowed to let all the shit hang out for a night in suits and ties and gowns in an already highly incestuous work environment civilization...best parties ev-arrrrhhhh my man. I can proudly ( think) say that I've never experienced this much drama   at any type of holiday gathering.

Ok y'all...I need to get outta here and get this in before the gets posted in the "Blogging Circle of Friends "  by Prosperous Snow celebrating . Tomorrow I'm bent on scheduling my bus trip back to Buffalo for Christmas...hey PandaPaws Licensed VetTech , that means I'll be passing though your area, and I know it's a busy time of year, so I'm just sayin' . Anyway, my legs are tired as fuck and I'm almost as tired as them, so....peace, thee be glory given, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!