Just Be There Blog

internal thought about self respect

Don't speak to others about your painful past. No one wishes to hear it; instead, speak of happy memory where joy touched your life.

I read this somewhere this weekend and at first I was inclined to agree in the wisdom of the sentiment. But as time went on, I found myself growing irritated by the phrase...No one wishes to hear it...

What I have to say to that is...Oh well.

If I have the need to get a bad memory off my chest by talking about it, I will find for myself an empathetic/sympathetic audience who won't mind listening. After all, if emotional or physical trauma is stuffed inside and ignored, maladaptive behavior tends to manifest. Anger, resentment, sadness requires a release or it grows beyond controlling and is acted out inappropriately.

If someone doesn't wish to take the time to listen to one of my painful memories so that I can feel that someone in the here and now cares, then I will find another who does care and isn't afraid to let me know it by listening to me.


I'm getting to the age where I just don't have the time to waste on people who don't care.


Those who don't look for you, don't ask about you, or don't miss you; don't care about you. I will value whoever values me and I won't spend a moment of concern on anyone who treats me as someone not worth their time.