Witness to Withness

Planning to Get out

I had been once caught in a trap left to rot
I had consumed a ravenous elixir of madness
Jesus help me to see my way out
Turn my elixir of madness and to life giving wine



Jesus turns water into wine. Often times I wonder about what is in the water that makes persons or a person act the way they do. I wanted out and the only way out was to embrace the ony one who could free me.


         I discovered after about six months if being in Taunton that we had been in a sense all been held prisoner. We on the way to entering half way houses when their were several snags. It was all in the name of a new concept: Community based mental health. This was back in the seventies. It is still a buzz word in the present. I would guess this was in the works since about September of the year that I entered the hospital. There were obstacles from community leaders who were not too sure they wanted persons from a State hospital in their community.

         It took me a while to awake to the reality that I did not need an escape. There were a few main events that woke me up.
1. I had gotten a wedding ring from another patient. They gave it to me freely, so that I could give it to the girl I would marry. Soon after I had mental health staff hounding me about the whereabouts of the ring. I could not remember. They did eventually get it back. I was faced with the potential of being a thief and being locked up.
2. The most sobering test to my sanity was an encounter with an oriental who claimed to be just as flighty as me. I got tired of all the bantering and took a towel and tried to choke him to death. I had no idea I was capable of such a feat.