Memories of Snow

A Letter to My Mother

A Letter to My Mother
Marie Pearl Newland Darbe Sisk

Dear Mama,

It has been two years, four months, and five days since your soul ascended into the Abha Kingdom. I miss you everyday. Sometimes something I think about or do reminds me of you. I looked into the mirror and I see your face looking back at me. I open my mouth to say something and I hear your voice. I dream about you and wake up in the middle of the night listening for your voice.

Today I went to see Dr. Zamora, my optometrist. As you probably know I have glaucoma in both eyes. I also have dry eyes and the beginnings of cataracts. Of course, I am 68 years old so I can expect to have some medical problems. Those are not the only medical problems I have the thyroid disease is not helping my dry eyes because it is causing me to sleep with my eyes open. I have to purchase another over-the-counter eye medication, which I need to put in my eyes after I put in the prescription eye drops.

I am not sure where I will get the money for the eye drops and everything else I need to purchase this month. I have a SNAP card, but buys only food. Today I decided to use the SNAP card to purchase water instead of using the Brita Filter Pitcher. I can purchase water with the care, but I cannot purchase the water filter. I will keep the Brita Pitcher for a while; at least until it starts getting in my way and then I will probably give it to Big Brothers and Big Sisters.

I made vanilla coffee this morning before I went to Dr. Zamora's office. I did not drink it all so when I came home this afternoon I finished off the carafe. The coffee was cold but I drink it anyway because I did not want to heat it up in the microwave. The microwave I brought with me does not work properly because it throws a braker when I use it. I need to get a new microwave; however, that is out because I also need to get new eyeglasses and four new tires.

I am writing this letter as part of Camp NaNoWriMo. I decided to write Nonfiction for this camp because I wanted to expand my writing. This is only the second day of Camp NaNoWriMo. I seem to have an easier time writing nonfiction then fiction, but it is only the second day of the camp. Despite being out of the apartment for several hours, I have gotten quite a bit written today. I wrote a poem, responded to three blog prompts, and composed a Thankful Thursday entry for Poet 999: A Butterfly Emerges from Her Cocoon. I do not know for sure if I am going to accomplish my word count goal. I have given myself until 9:00 pm Pacific Daylight Time to accomplish the goal.

I have noticed that I have problems accomplishing the word count goal one day a week, but it is not the same day every week. This week it was Palm Sunday, March 29. Next week it will be Primary Election Day, which is on Tuesday, April 7. The one thing these two day have in common is the amount of time I spend away from the apartment. On March 29, I was at the Baha'i Center on West Oakey Avenue from 8:15 am to 5:45 pm. Next Tuesday, April 7, I will be at the election polls for 6:00 am to, at least, 7:30 pm. Those are good reasons for not accomplish the word count goal. It is difficult to write 2,000 words in a pen and paper journal when you are involved in a conference or helping voters.

Mamma, I have dreamed about you on and off for the past couple of three weeks. I can never remember what the dreams are about. The only thing I can remember about the dreams is that you are trying to tell me something. I cannot figure out what you are attempting to communicate. The dreams seem foggy when I wake up and your face is the only one I remember. What are you trying to tell me, Mamma?

I just talked to Faye, she wants her and I to move in together. I have to admit that sounds good to me. I am so tired of being alone. Being alone hurts so much and it is difficult to do anything. I need to live with someone who will help me with housework and keep me from procrastinating. I place everything in God's hands. I know it will work out, I just have to keep positive and keep on keeping on.

I wrote down everything Faye wanted me to find out. I need to ask the rental agent about a two bedroom. I also need to ask about the lease I have and if I can transfer or have to sign a new lease when this one is up. The lease is up in September. Right now I expect there to be problems, but then I always expect problems. There are seldom anything I cannot handle. In fact there is nothing that I cannot handle especially when I put the situation in God's hands.

I love you!
Your oldest daughter,
Never (Prosperous Snow) Darbe