I will share the many thoughts that invade my introspective soul. |
I was looking out from my garages and had a new spin on the holiday. I was on my way to finish an assignment and was told that it was okay to let people go on top of the garages at our sprint campus as long as they did not take alcohol up to the top with them. In my last patrol I ran into some excited onlookers. They were people from various families and I could not help thinking how quiet it was on top of these garages as opposed to the major sites where the firework are cast out into a oblivion in an array of colors, sparkles, explosive renditions and flourish. There are wall to wall people from my memory of attending fireworks venues and yet here were these family members, few in number anticipating the wonder of it all without all the fuss. At one point an older man looked at me and tried to get information from me that he was sure that I had stored in my memory, after all he assumed that this was the highlight of my work. It was my first fireworks adventure since I started Sprint. I fast forward to memories. There is the loud noises that made me feel like I was disconnected and dizzy alien to whatever was happening. It was unsettling that I could not hang with the celebration even as a young child. I hated the noise and the need to go EVERY year. As fortune would have it I resumed the tradition when I had kids. We even went to get firecrackers, which were illegal in Massachusetts. I did it for the kids more than for me. Therefore it hurt when everything was changed by divorce. I have not been with them on the 4th since the divorce in 2002. Maybe that was not the worst thing that could have happened after all, even if I miss the connection!!!! I can represent in my own way the choice to not be a part. There may be times they may not feel like being a part of the chaos and they can think about me who is oblivious to the noise and chaos. Maybe their is peace somewhere after all, INDEPENDENCE!! |