Dreamscapes

The farm

Most of my dream was about the farm or thereabouts. It is one of the ongoing themes in my dreams before I started this dream journal.
fyi: The farm was a vacation place that we all went to as a family when I was growing up in Massachusetts. My grandparents lived there for a while and then moved to a retirement and sold the place.

In this dream I see my grandfather, (who died long ago) and he is claiming that there is a lot of land that will pay for the farm. In this dream the farm is in disrepair. There are memories of all kinds of animals that roamed the farm at one time or another. (which rarely if at all happened in real life). In my dream there is a place for pigs and all manner of other animals. In my dream I think of the farm being used to create shows such a Gilligans Island and McHale's Navy. I am a child in the dream about eighteen years old. One of the artifacts in my dream is a store with sundry goods. At one point I take some candy and I notice that someone is doing inventory. I am afraid I will be caught and them am offered something from the store. It appears just so that it can stay in business. My Uncle is a prominent figure. He was divorced from my Aunt about the time that everything was in disrepair ( a dream imagining). I can not help but think he is responsible for all the mismanagement.

I can catch some of the drift. I am exhausted and wish I was at home with the rest of my family. My here and now reality is that my grandfather and Uncle have since died, along with my parents. The farm has been sold to some other people and what had seemed like an idyllic place to go has become the residence of a mobile home court. I have not been to the farm since it was sold. My mom and sisters frequented it quite a bit and shared memories and the state of affairs before Mom died. I am guessing that the getting away with ploy refers to my effort to do more than I really can and feeling internal consequences (angst). I can not get away with it healthwise. We have no insurance and I am tempting fate. And yet the extra money seems nice. All the animals speaks about the wild craziness of my life now. My best friend was recently swindled, my family back east snowed under, my wife laments my exes sister committing suicide and my good friend I have known for years in KC longs to know how to set up a caregiving business as if I have all the answers. Maybe watching tv shows I liked in the past can be a diversion (in this case sports), but in the end I will have to deal with it all or see the "farm" my sense of well self go under and be put in my other conception of farm in the funny farm, a very real component of fear and insecurity since being hospitalized way back in the 70s