My Blog City

Thursday Febuary 12th

Prompt: When was the last time someone told you that they were proud of you?


It has been so long sense someone actually recited those words to me, I'm even sure when it has. Somewhere in my childhood I think. Wait, don't go getting all sappy just yet. Allow me to explain a thing or two. Once I do I know you'll see like I do, that this not a horriable thing. Just a nibble size disappoint that is dismissed just as quickly as it is realized.

My father was the only one in my childhood too ever tell me he was proud of me. In those days he was the only that mattered to me being how he was the one at home with us kids, so it was all good. Unfortunately he passed when I was a mere 10 years old taking with him that constantan reminder that what I did mattered to someone.
My mother was not in touch with her emotions in the home setting, which is ironic seeing how she one of the most loved and compassionate nurses I have ever known. Her nurturing skills with us kids stopped at providing a roof and the means to get care for ourselves.

I ran wild with my grief for the next 10 or so years, but not quit letting it consume me because while my mother worked to hide from her grief, I was left tending to the toddler in the house and getting him though to High school.

I was around 16 or so before I heard anyone express pride in me, and even then it wasn't directed at me. My boyfriend at the time was telling his father how proud he was of me for taking all that I did and still remaining a good person. My boyfriend claimed people needed to realized all that I had done and do every day was a far greater task given the age I was. He never did say it directly to me over the following 10 years we were together. In fact the very 1st time he told me directly that I was doing a good job and that he would support any discussion I made, was nearly 1.5 years after we had split. A report of neglect had been filed against me on our son's behalf, knowing it would be found to be false I had decided to move out of state when the investigation was over. It was in fact found unjustified and due to other findings Child Protective Services filed a lawsuit against the person who filed the report for "attempting to use a federal office to intimidate and collect personal revenge on an innocent family". I decided after all that I was not about to give the satisfaction of appearing to run, so I stayed in state. My son's father and I are still very close friend, in fact his children from his pervious relationship still to this day refer to me as their step-mom. Even though they were never asked to call me step mom and they all lived with and were raised by their real mother. It is a great honor for me know that I have such an impact on someone's life like that. Their mother and I are friends, I have been invited to the weddings, births all the major and not so major events in their lives. Their cousins have even said, "It just isn't complete without both the mothers here." and instead of being offended their mother agrees with it. What a honor to be that important to a family that could have just as easily put me out of their minds.

As an adult I have herd things like; "It is so impressive what you have done", "I would have been able to do what you did at (whatever age)", "That says so much about you as person" and "You have so much that you offer so many", but the words "I am proud of you" are never actually uttered. Which I would enjoy to hear just as much as the next person, but given what is said and how I am treated it is acceptable that I have not actually heard them sense I was a child.

Know how good it felt when my daddy said it to me I make a point of letting my hear it when ever it is justified regardless of the age, because unlike far too many adults believe...there is no age limit on the importance of hearing a sincerely complement from someone you value.


Taz

Embracing & Feeding the writing addiction