Still Figurin' Out Who I Think I Am

This one's about drunkedness, easiness, and standardness.

"Did you ever get really drunk and do somethink stoopid? Tell the truth or lie. (As translated by Cubby .)"

'Sup people? So, Brother Nature Andre The Blog Monkey sent out a long-winded picture prompt for us yesterday to use for today, and it's somehow gone missing since then. And Joel doesn't know better by now than to leave Andre in charge when he's not gonna be around?

At least Cubby was nice enough to have the frame of mind to send out what the gist of Andre's note said, because for the life of me when I discovered it was nowhere to be found, I couldn't remember a thing it said. Which is sorta the point of today's entry...all the boozin' I did in my twenties through my mid-thirties has probably affected my short-term memory much more than I'd like to admit. It's true...I can remember a lot of random, useless information, but I can forget why I walked into a room. If I'm like this now before I hit 40, what am I gonna be like when I'm 80? I'mma be sittin' in a nursing home wondering every five minutes where the hot nurse is with my next spongebath, and will probably need to be reminded daily that I'm still able enough to care for myself because the nurses refuse to deal with the dirty old man.

Like many of you I'm sure, I've probably got a laundry list full of stupid shit I've said or done while intoxicated. I'm not proud of most of it...and of the stories I've been gifted with the torturous ability to recall throughout the day, none really stick out as "legendary" or unique enough to stand apart from anything else we've all done. Pretty typical stuff...saying things you definitely wouldn't say sober to girls you'd otherwise have no business talking to, sucking at darts until your crew is on their fourth or fifth pitcher of the night, ending up at a diner for the second time in an evening because instead of going home when your buddy's heavin' outside of a bar you went and got into a ridiculous argument with a girl who might or might not have been your girlfriend (but acted enough like one at times that she may as well have been).

Probably the most damaging thing I've done, thankfully- and I say that because I've never gotten a DWI, or had my ass handed to me in a brawl- was breaking my ankle back in 2012. Was it stupid of me to jump over a bonfire? Apparently not enough the first six or seven times I did it. The last time though I landed in what must have been a rut in the frozen grass...and some of you remember how that turned out. A metal plate, seven screws and three surgeries later it's still not right, but I've gotta live with it. Besides some cool scars, there's also "Ankle Pics"  (which isn't for those with weak stomachs)...all reminders that sometimes I make really, really shitty decisions.

I'm sure there are lots of other dumb things I've done...but like I said I'm lucky I've never killed anyone or woke up nine months later as someone's babydaddy. Maybe that's life's little way of reminding me the ledger likes to remain balanced.

"It wasn't going to be easy but someone has to tell her/him...make it your own."

I'm actually not sure what to make of this, because for some reason it's always seemed like I'm the one no one wants to break bad news to...like I'm the last to know because people are afraid of my feelings being hurt.

It's not that I'm oblivious in some respects...everyone's got moments where the glasses are too rose-colored to see the situation for what it really is rather than what you believe or are hoping for. It's not delusional; that's just how life is sometimes.

For me, it tends to happen in relationships. You're too caught up in the status quo of trying to continue them instead of getting out. I don't know when to just walk away, because I guess as long as there's something there, I'll value the notion that it's salvageable. Maybe to a fault.

Call it optimism; call it stupidity...feelings do funny things to people. No one likes endings, especially if they're bad and a lot of work has gone into keeping people whole and together. I don't even like it when I know my friends are going through breakups, because as close as you are, you might not know the entirety of each sides' stories or thought processes. That's not to say I wouldn't intervene if I knew someone was being a douche, but there are times when the only way someone's gonna see how bad their mess is is to let them fall into it and roll around there for awhile. No matter where you stand in the big picture, it's not easy.

And that's all I'm really gonna say about it. I don't even like thinking about it, even if it's a scenario we all end up dealing with at some point in our lives.

"What double standards have you noticed in life?"

Good question...I think I've seen plenty, but maybe the one that drives me the most nuts is the disparity between the rich and the poor, and how the haves tend to flaunt that more than the have-nots.

How does it not irk you that large corporations consistently ask for handouts, tax breaks, and other loopholes that take advantage of the very people that made them all their money in the first place? Why do shareholders pay less in taxes than the average consumer? The difference in economies favor the richer over the poor, unfairly. It baffles me how some executives will cry poor from their ivory towers, and how corporate criminals get off with golden parachutes after bilking the public out of millions of dollars. And the people we trust, elect, and compensate well to figure this stuff out never have an answer...because the mighty are always rubbing each others' backs and looking the other way. Yet if I go to a gas station, put $20 in my tank and drive off without paying, I'll get thrown in jail.

It's obvious that certain elements of the tax code need to be rewritten to make it fairer on the middle and lower classes. Just because you make six figures or more doesn't make you special, and it doesn't mean you're using less services than single-parent households struggling to keep it down on a minimun-wage salary. And laws need to be applied the same across the board, consistently...stealing is stealing, whether it's candy bars or stock profits. Why should I be given a hard time at work by my boss for taking a vacation I earned, when he can take off pretty much anytime he wants because he's not in the shop doing the actual work to make the business run?

All I'm saying is let's keep fair fair. I hate double standards, because there's almost always nothing you can do about them. Nobody likes being compromised, but the only people who seem to really suffer the most are the ones who can least afford to. And I'll get off my soapbox now.

Let's switch gears now and talk about something more fun. We're a week into "The Soundtrack of Your Life" , and you know I can't go through one of these without mentioning one of the greatest Canadian singer/songwriters ever, Hawksley Workman.

I love to sing, even though I'm really terrible at it. I have no fear of it whatsoever, nor do I care that I probably sound like a drowning cat. It's the expression. The way music sounds in your head and makes you feel something other than whatever it is you might be dealing with that you don't want to be dealing with.

I first saw Hawksley at a free show in downtown Buffalo maybe ten years ago. I'd never heard of him and he was opening for Gord Downie of The Tragically Hip (another great Canadian band that will be appearing on my playlist this month). Barely a few songs in, I was enraptured...his stage presence had an almost-Vaudeville quality to it, his music was unique, and he exuded a confidence and aura that never existed for me on stage before. I was instantly a fan.

And that's what "Paper Shoes" is all about...confidence. If you have it, it can take you places you'd otherwise fail to gain entrance into. It's a currency that in turn can inspire others to have confidence in you as well. You're no longer ordinary...if you believe in what you're doing, it almost doesn't matter how much talent you possess.

The quality of this particular performance isn't great, but it's adequate. The fact that he busts mid-song into a Supertramp verse is even better.

"'Cuz singing is about sexual confidence...
So sing out your stuff if you feel good enough to let the moment just hit you, if the music befits you."
Lyrics.  

I hope that YouTube link works...WDC seems to be the only website I can access right now. Facebook and YouTube aren't working in Chrome for some reason; so I had to use the stupid app instead, and I have a feeling I won't know until I post the entry that it's working (or isn't).

Speaking of Facebook, I saw this afternoon that Central NY is under a winter storm warning again...from now until Tuesday morning!! I'm used to winter storm warnings, but not ones that last that long. That's ridiculous, winter...I give up. You win. Please dump another foot and a half of snow on us. Ugh.

And that's where I'm gonna end this for now, because I'm running outta patience with this tablet and the Internet connection around here. Peace, my moves are amazing, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!