an unrehearsed universe

Four Step Face Plant

Choose one, the beauty instructed.  And none is not an option. 

Cupped in his hands, they were identical. Cold to the touch, the same texture, the same appearance. But not quite. 

The left. It has more heft. 

A passing resemblance to a smile peeked out from the grimness. Made her nearly human looking, though not any less beautiful. 

Good choice, she said approvingly. It’s the one I use. 

The matter-of-fact pronouncement told him to stuff his pity. An unnecessary warning. He didn't have the room to pity anybody else. It did explain the glowering. Here he’d been thinking she was paid by the frown. 

Let’s try it for fit. 

Isn’t that a job for the big boys? 

The frown multiplied, came back with strangely appealing friends - pursed lips and narrowed eyes. 

I am the big boys, asshole. Stand up. 

Figuring he’d earned worse, he shut up. All brisk efficiency before, she now took her pound of flesh in deliberately sloppy handling. The view was enough to ignore the pain for. 

Pay attention, she scolded. 

But the scowl did nothing to diminish his pleasure. How could it, with the beauty on her knees before him? He chuckled, pleased with the unexpectedly lecherous thoughts. 

Walk. Acid coated her command. He tried for innocence, which earned him a sharp pinch on the bicep. We both know my face is up here. 

First step in and the discomfort was sky-high. All these advances in medical technology and they couldn't stop the chafing? He headed that train off at the pass. Fifty years ago it would've been worse. A hundred and he would've been dead. Thinking like that helped him keep shit in perspective. 

Besides, while it was more lurch than finesse, it was him walking. No crutches, no rails, nothing but man and machine rubbing along.

Takes a while to get used it. Keep telling yourself that it’s you standing on your own two feet. I find it helps.

Like breast implants – once you buy them, they’re yours. Still, mighty uncomfortable no matter how you slice it. 

No doubt in his mind: that was a smile this time. It came right after an offering of understanding. Seemed like the beauty was thawing out some. 

Remnants of machismo had him trying to strut, a bad idea for a gimp. It promptly turned into a clusterfuck. Limbs, his and hers, went every which way but vertical. Her balance held; his didn't. A brief spurt of embarrassment that went as quickly as it came. There was no sense in being upset about unchangeable things. 

Walk before you run, dumbass. 

He closed his eyes to the agony of rearrangement. Even so, he could hear the smile in her voice. A strong girl for all her resemblance to good china, she got him back in the chair with an enviably swift series of movements. Then again, she did this everyday for assholes exactly like him. 

You did very well until you started showing off.

A face-plant after four steps qualifies as very well? 

Walk before you run. The fit’s not quite right.

That last a sop to his pride that worked all the same. Better still when she took the foot off, the extra weight odd after weeks of adjusting to its absence.

Just so you know, the beauty come-hithered, dragging me down won’t work. I like being on top. 

Sputtering in stupefaction, his eyes flew open. The grin told him he’d been had. Didn't change the fact that he was up and running at full mast. 

We’re done for today. Giving him a hair toss and a wave, the beauty grabbed her files and vavoomed towards the door. See you Tuesday. Don’t miss me too much, soldier. 

A lot more going on there than he'd thought. It underscored the importance of patience and gathering good intel. The other guys on the floor thought she was a raging harpy. Hell, he’d known her almost six weeks before she first cracked a smile.

He had her flirting now. Assuming he could get her to say yes to a date, which while many months down the line wasn't as obviously far-fetched as it seemed two months ago, who knew what then? They'd make pretty babies, at any rate.

And wasn't it about time the Army gave him back as much as it took away?